LCI Learning

Share on Facebook

Share on Twitter

Share on LinkedIn

Share on Email

Share More

Pavan (SPA)     04 October 2011

Spouse seperated

Hi There,

Me and my wife have been married (love and Arranged) for 2 years now (2yrs in Nov). Recently me and my wife had a quarell and she left to her mothers place without intimating us.

Its been 20 days she or her parents havent approached us till now for any details. Is there any way to get her back or what needs to be done to be on a safer side legally..

I just had a thought of sending some notice to her legally and thus provoking them to come for talks with the family.. will that be a good idea.

Please advice.

Thank you


 11 Replies

Rohit Shukla (Engineer)     04 October 2011


Brother, its been 2 years of love cum arranged marriage, now just over a quarrel and 20 days of her no respondance, Can I ask what makes you think of "Legally provoking" them at such a short span without even the mention of all other efforst to save your relation? and for got sake, leave the "EGO" issue and try to understand the situation dispassionately from a neutral perspective addressing the core issue. That would be a constructive approach.

Further, never ever think of "Provoking" and there are more than 100 people there to assist her and provoke her in a more destructive ways for you if even she reaches on the court premises. Then this self assumed "I WILL WIN" myth will go for a toss for no reason. Go to her, speak to her independently, and sort it out. Bhai relation main chhota bada kuchh nahin hota. Trust me life is simple, we make it more complex in most of the time. Wish you luck .... Now go and talk to her, she is your wife dude!!!!



2 Like

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     04 October 2011

Very good advice by Mr. Rohit Shukla.

Alok Tholiya (self employed)     05 October 2011

Dear Rohit, Hats off to ur sane advice. All husband and wife / all brother and sisters , often office collegues have a fight. But then they resolve too. And if not then they have some one to help resolving. But here for two yeras both cud not build a relationship to resolve issues by themselves. They do not seek some intervention of wiseman in family who is nutral, guardiaon like. They do not take help of a counselor to resolve their issues. One goes and sits in her maternal house ( which is right if husband have been physical/ daily abusive,having extra marital affair) and other wants to send notice. What a foolishness. Putting on house on fire and giving others warmth in the cold whether?

And most shocking is none of them cud build good repport with their in lwas who cud play a vital role in saving the drowning ship. 


your story is half baked... hiding most important thing that you are taking of legal... legal wise your family will be a crack of joke among advocates who enjoy your fight with their fees running into years... losers are you both... even if you want things your way... why dont you enjoy things around... anyhow you will end up paying with or without legal mess...

Pavan Kumar Sandur (others)     05 October 2011


Listen to sane advise of Rohit. Absolutely true, "LIFE CAN BE AWFULLY SIMPLE AND WE TRY OUR BEST TO MAKE IT SIMPLY AWFULL".

"PROVOKE" is something that should not be in your dictionary at all.

I am in the same boat as you are, but I have a son to look out for, whom I have not seen for close to 3 years.

Handle the issue delicately,talk directly to your wife, do not believe what others tell you about what your wife feels and has supposedly said. do not believe till you hear the same from your wife.(OTHERS means-any one other than your wife- be it your MIL,FIL,BIL etc)

Remember life doesnot allow you the luxury of ego trips, earlier you realise this, better the prospects of a quick resolution.

Give your best shot at a honest resolution.

Leave the rest to time and GOD(if you believe)!!

Aishwarya (Teacher)     05 October 2011

U wish to be back with her then do it amicably , whts the need for doing things legally ..is she hasnt cared to respond or solve the issue..then for sometime forget ur ego if at all u intend to save ur marriage..u urself try without any external intereference of any sort..

Raj Vikram Singh (Software Engg)     05 October 2011



Things may not have gone as worst as you are thinking. Keep in mind-

“Assumptions are the termites of relationships”

I would suggest checking at local police station through some contacts whether they have given any complaint or not.

If Yes- Wait and let I/O call you for your side of story. You can consult again if this situation comes

If no-

1.       Please submit one simple information letter in police station about incident and get signed acknowledgment. Mention clearly that it’s FYI only and you don’t want any action from your side. This is main step which we guys normally ignore. It would not help or harm currently but would be beneficial if things goes in other direction.


2.      Talk to your wife, Go to in-laws home with some senior member of family (Preferably lady) to take her back. Even if she doesn’t come you will get to know what’s in their mind.


Normally husband and wife can sort out all problems within themselves but this is “Ego” of the family of both sides ruins the life. Please keep us posted…………




Raj Vikram Singh


PS: Suggestion is based on my personal experience. You can consult with others to make your mind. 


First analyze, Who's on fault b/w both of you ?

If you are on mistake, Feel SORRY to her by all means by kept aside your EGO.

If she is on fault, Then wait and Let she feel about her mistakes.

If you bow down w/o any fault, Then it creates further non-sense.

So decide & act accordingly.



Abhinatre Gupt.

alok (service)     05 October 2011

I salute the advice of Mr. Rohit.



alok agarwal

Shonee Kapoor (Legal Evangelist - TRIPAKSHA)     05 October 2011

If they are not coming to you, why can't you go to them?




Shonee Kapoor


Alok Tholiya (self employed)     05 October 2011

In this thread most of replies are good. And I also agree to Raj Vikram singh. But only one amendment. Take a elder lady with u but do not insist for her to immediately accompany you. Give her time. Till then take her for short while for a movie, friends can invite both of u for dinner, go for place of her choice like mall, temple, cofee shop etc ... Slowly remove the misunderstandings, give healiong touch, and do not hurry for physical needs and I am sure with some more creative ideas u can build the gap. Rather u can start by calling up in laws/ brother / sis in law , do hello hi, then visit her and then slwly get further improvement.

She too and her family too needs to do a lot but that is up to their maturity and wisdome. For their ego or wrongs u should not spoil your and your own spouses life.

Leave a reply

Your are not logged in . Please login to post replies

Click here to Login / Register