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SIFF member(inlaws) ruined my life,so don't trust them.

Page no : 5

Arup (UNEMPLOYED)     27 February 2011

" If you didn't like her story you should have ignored rather than insulting her. "

- the author did not creat attention if the person attack SIFF no reason.

Arup (UNEMPLOYED)     27 February 2011



2 Like

Avnish Kaur (Consultant)     27 February 2011

althogh this thread appeards to be an attempt to malign SIFF

but to avoid such situations in real life

reverse Dowry is needed,

boys side must give some good gift to girls side which remains with girls side forever , at least people will not take marriage as a game.also ppl will think many times before marrying.

also boys side will be able to take benefit of 498a :)

3 Like

What's in a name (Director )     27 February 2011


In spite of being a SIFF supporter( SIFF supports family harmony),  while I convey a sense of support  for  Prassanjit, and wish her well, I thought I bring this issue of non trust here in this thread which comes not only from some men but also from women as well. 

It is not just  men but also women who keep on distrusting IDs and some postings, giving unnecessary motives to them. I registered just recently, but like so many of you, I  have been a non registered occassional visitor to this forum( in relation to my cousin's marital problem which thankfully was resolved through marital couceling and the famly did not break)

A few days back I had posted something on some thread, a general reply to a general post, and I was told not by the querist but some other lady that my ID is fake. Without knowing about my s*x which my name does not convey, I was told very confidently not in one post but in another post also that I am a woman masquerading as a man. In the process some woman was attacked, her personal story which she would have shared on this forum was dragged including the reference to her daughter, her age was ridiculed and it was alleged that she is restless for gaining attention of LCI. I  considered it very unethical. In fact, I felt more sad for her than for the non trust with which I was looked upon. Why I appeared  suddenly was questioned. Anyone who makes first appearance would come for the first time someday.

In this thread I see Ravi Rocks registered only yesterday and he has every right to do it, and come and comment for the first time. Probably,  if he had not supported the case of prasanjit ji, probably his ID too would have been doubted, and rediculed.

I do not take these things to heart, and know in this type of  web forum worse and more deadly abuses are hurled, if someone has a mind to that.   So did not react the way one of the ladies had reacted to my ID. Later ofcourse she apologised through a PM.   Funnily, the very same day after her PM,  she again confused me with some other new ID who was a male, called Mayank, and without any foundation started saying I am Mayank, and Mayank is a woman. Not only me, in some other thread, the same lady had doubted some other retired person's ID and in yet another thread in another   section in which I ocassionally contribute, another ID was doubted. 

I think this tendency from anyone needs to be checked from both men and women. If the   someone is abusive or doing some harm to others,  the admin is the proper authority to get in touch with.  

@ Arup Ji

Life is not made of neat and exactly fititng pieces. So since this story is Prasanjit's life story, you may not find neat interlinks. I myself am a SIFF supporter, but that is entirely a different ball game, and not all members of SIFF are mean and selfish. In fact my causin's family life was restored because of the intervention of SIFF. An organisation's vision and mission may not be followed by all its members. In any organisation some members remain good and some not so.  But that does not make an organisation bad in itself . 

@ Prasanjit ji

I understand your bitterness towards the organisation as you seemed to have bad experience with its members. But do not generalise all MILs as bad women. All marriages would involve MILs and there is no point in labelling them all as bad. While bad treatment should not be tolerated wither by MIL or by DIL, you will do a right thing to talk about only your MIL and not sweep all MILs into the negative shadow.

My cousin's MIL is very good and she supported my cousin throughout her problems with her husband . In fact it is because of her MIL's support and insistence, that the couple went for good marital councelling for 6 months and realised how foolish they were to think of divorce as a solution. 

Finally, like Randomethics had said in her single post, I rest my case here and would not appear for answering any non trusting attacks on my ID or relevance or irrelvance of my post. 

manjit kalra (system eng)     27 February 2011

Avnish ji ur suggestion is very good :). but is it possible in INDIA? raja Ram Mohan Rai ji tussi kithe ho?

Avnish Kaur (Consultant)     27 February 2011

okk u mean self proclaimed Raja ?


@ Komal


I am in love with your posts.And wish that you write here more often.



@ Rajeev ji


Yes Lekha is very encouraging and her posts are also very soothing to a depressed person.Rthaer I also get encouraged reading them and learn so many things.


But Rajeev jee.Why have you stopped writing?I haven't reads your posts till now.They are also damn good!



@ What's in a name


Yes I had sent to an apology,out of humblesness,to which you never replied.


I commented upon you in response to your comments upon me in various posts which were made subtly.Don't think that comments can be done only loudly.They can be done subtly also,which you are an expert in.(Meethi chhurri)

Point one finger,and the remaining will point at you only.

If I am so fond of commenting upon others,I will do the same to all;why just you?

You can't demand respect,you have to earn it.If you comment upon others with words like "cupboard wife" and many other comments,don't expect politeness from others.


1 Like

What's in a name (Director )     27 February 2011

Please do it by all means Lady.  I tried to reply to your PM, it just would not move. And I remained quiet but observant. But even if I had not tried to reply to you, does that mean you will again confuse me with some other ID and again while accusing me would bring in some woman and her personal story which she would have shared in this forum like all other women in good faith. 

I have not done any disrespectful things here in this forum, and I will appear or disappear at my will, in whichever thread I want to appear or not appear. 

I neither want to earn respect here, nor I want to disrespect the members here. I just questioned the illogical sequence of your casting doubts on others' IDs. 

No disrespect to you Lady. Till now I have not said a single disrespectful word to you, or any other person in the forum because it is not my way of communicating . Who knows who is masquerading with what IDs in a firum populated with more than 100 K, every day new IDs are being created. 

, do not apologise , when you think you did not do anything wrong. Apologies normally is tendered out of realisation of something which we have done intentionally or unintentionally undesirable and not out of mere humbleness. 

"I rest the case " I said but went back on it, because it was necessary  in  a small way. 

 I rest the case for good. But cannot assure you that I will not visit your threads again, especially those where you are putting down someone's IDs and stripping someone else' dignity because you feel some IDs are out to put you down. Bring out my post and show in what way it was disrespectful to you, and what was wrong with the questions i had asked you. 


Prasenjeet i can v.well understand how much you had to tolerate your mother inlaw's behavior,just to save your marriage with a mummy's boy.


Even then your marriage could not be saved,which mounted your frusration to such heights,that is understandable.So obviously you will call her bad.


As already pointed out by What's in a name,all MILs are not bad.But this is a very natural reaction from a victim like you,which I can empathise v.well.


This being a legal forum,people will only share about their bad experiences with in laws.They cannot think about their friends' or sisters' "good inlaws".It is but very natural.


As advised by Roshni,you become so busy in your life that all your traumas start getting eradicated.It will also make u more confident to deal with future situations.


@ What's in a name



See,I can go on and on to give you counter replies to all your above lines,which will emphasise on your style of subtly commenting on others.But I dont have the time to go through all your posts to point out where you were commenting in your unique meethi chhurri style.Still I stand by my words !


BTW,why you emerged suddenly today to comment on my posts again?

I was commenting on hedevil hydraheaded's posts 2-3 days back;not on you any more.I had even forgotten about you.I guess your post of today is in response to my comments on hedevil hydraheaded.If yes,you have so much sympathy for hedevil hydraheaded.

What's the exact reason behind it??

Yes I commented rightly on him because he is actually another ID of a member here,which is proven in LCI threads only;not by me but by himself only.   :)


I commented not because he made another ID which is rather his choice,but his/her typical arguing and imposing narture on others by creating a new ID,so that no one recognizes who he/she is!

Also,you have not replied when I asked you why you gave such comments like "cupboard wives" etc in another thread by Roshni.Anyways..leave it if you can't reply.


I have no issues if you,hedevil or someone make multiple IDs.I repeat I find this behavior offensive and childish when certain people comment on others by making use of other IDs so that none actually comes to know who these new comment passers are.And this is what I call cheap behavior.If someone makes a new ID because of any genuine reason,it's understandable.But making it just to attack others in disguise is so irritating!


You say you have been a silent observer...Oh wow great!You are proudly telling what a deep person you are.I did not know you that you are such an observer cum a philosopher!I salute you and bow down to you!


You said you will keep coming to see where I point out my doubts on other IDs.So you admit that you have nothing better to do rather than act as a detective/police officer to see what I write!

Thanks for admitting :)


Apology is also tendered out of realisation.Yes I tender apologies to people if I am genuinely wrong.For example I tendered it to someone yesterday because I genuinely was rude to him.

In your case i tendered it to end arguments,thinking it will end the fight.I had sent to you the message of apology through Kushan.If you could not reply through LCI PM,you could also have replied though Kushan only,which you avoided as you are sooooooooo superior!

It's okay.No need to reply,because I have better people to look forward to hearing from

In Roshni's thread I commented on you,taking your daughter's name.But I have no grudges against your daughter.And why will I have?You made some comments,and got few in return.Simple!

I also rest my arguments with you now,unless you provoke me again through this or another ID,which I told you I find disgusting habit.



What's in a name (Director )     27 February 2011

lady, I do not have any daughter, how did you assume I have a daughter?  In the referred  thread you were mixing up the matter? How do you know whether I am married or not? How can you assume such things when I did not bring in any story of mine on this forum? Show me which story you have read from me that you assumed that I have a daughter? So do not drag a non existing child of mine in the thread. I felt sad for the woman who and whose child you were dragging in your tiff with me. 

I did not make any comment or any personal remark on you. Look at the thread again , if you wish. You can never end an argument which is done on wrong assumption by apologies and I did not expect any.

Why one cannot be silent observer and remain a quiet and observant ?  If today this context of mistrust had not come in this thread, I would not have appeared in this thread also but would have still read it and remained observant of what I am reading. 



Arup (UNEMPLOYED)     27 February 2011


I stand by my above words.

You did not tell why you keep stalking my posts and like to comment on them,especially that you commented today suddenly after so many days,in response to my observation about hedevil.

Thre's no need to be so defensive.I can understand no on wants to get embarassed.



However, I want to GENUINELY end this argument now






God bless you!:)

zimmerzapper (student)     27 February 2011

Originally posted by :Komal Khurana
@TAJOBINDIA-...if you are against injustice then that should not be biased for only males . BUt i think you are biased just for males , you don't bother about the sufferings of a wife ( woman)...


dear komal, what you said is right, but why do women's rights organisations ignore men's suffering or pain? if they hadn't done that maybe we wouldn't be seeing 100% mens rights organisations now!

zimmerzapper (student)     27 February 2011

Originally posted by :Arup


very true!!!

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