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kamal singh (N/A)     04 April 2011

Interference of wild mother-in-law in family matters

HI Experts,

My sister is married to a reputed family in delhi.
since the marriage my sister's mother-in-laws behavior is not good with my sister.in fact she is such a virago that the entire family is helpless in front of her.
she always abuses and put taunt on my sister and my family.
Now my sister is fed up of all this and asked her husband to talk to her regarding this.. but all waste.

Now we took my sister at our home..and since then their family is abusing my family on call and they are also saying that send you daughter back or it will not be good for our family.

they have good contacts in police and ministry so we are feeling helpless in this regard.

Please suggest me what to do now.



Learning

 25 Replies

R.Ramachandran (Advocate)     04 April 2011

You have to get in touch with a lawyer in Delhi, discuss and then have to take appropriate next step.

Dibakar Ray (Advocate.)     04 April 2011

Hi,

Please dont take any hasty step in this matter, talk to the other family members of the Husband family (Except the Mother in Law of your sister of course) and get in touch with the Lawyer for advice.

Regards,

 

kamal singh (N/A)     04 April 2011

The issue is that nobody in their family is ready to listen

anything regarding my sister's mother-in-law. so there is no

sense talking to them regarding it.

we don't want to initiate any legal action ..just don't want

to make the situation worst.
but if they do something wrong then what steps should we take.

 

Arup (UNEMPLOYED)     04 April 2011

".....if they do something wrong then what steps should we take."

 

do not worry they can not do any wrong against you, the atmosphere totally against the male. if they try to do something foul, that will go against them. your sister withdraw herself from the matrimony, it is enough for them, to fear about 498a, dv etc, now they are trying for a mutual settlement.

 

but one thing that sometimes people take drastic action like murder due to fear - take care of it. do not send the girl till the relation become good.

 

as far as influence is concerned, before police and court, it is no matter.

girishankar (manager)     04 April 2011

Hmm

Rama chary Rachakonda (Secunderabad/Highcourt practice watsapp no.9989324294 )     05 April 2011

Manu smruithi says:

The aged parents, the chaste wife, infant children, are to be maintained even by committing a hundred misdeeds.

kamal singh (N/A)     05 April 2011

Thanks sir for your reply but how to decide upto which level someone should tolerate bad behavior. and its not even bad behaviour it includes mental torture by abusing and saying bad words to my sister and my family.

girishankar (manager)     06 April 2011

Anna Kazare .... and the 42 years pending bill ..will solve all the problems of the victims...

1 Like

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     06 April 2011

@ Author

The issue here is not what you are telling to readers. The issue here is how to file a criminal / civil case against a well settled husband's family in Delhi where 498a IPC is almost diluted but DV suits are kicking high admissions now ?
Reasoning:
No All India brides family can dare not to do any due diligence while settling with a ''reputed" grooms family and now if you say your side did check on everything and just after first night of marriage things went 360 degree then why not use DV Act and 498a ? What this 'reputed' family can do against such women favouring Laws ? Now that Hon'ble SC has okeyed inclusion of respondent MIL also so your side can  settle this 'wild thing' as subject line of your thread says so !- A wild MIL can do nothing is my view and thus she is domesticated with one stroke of DV Act for sure. I say your enquiry is not genuine on simple fact of due diligence principles. There is a All India saying if someone asks you – hey which city you live and once you pop – I live in Delhi then the national assumption is that you know the chief minister and nothing below the rank and file hence if you say your sister got married to a ‘reputed’ family then your family is to be blamed of not doing any cross check of this ‘reputed’ family before marriage and tell readers how much your side paid as dowry to get ‘reputed’ match done as assumption is also there that no ‘reputed’ family goes for dowry less marriage !  
I also mean to say that in today's 21 st. Century a bride of Delhi says that she is a cow and MIL and her side are all wild then it is height of innocence compared to rural ladies.

1 Like

kamal singh (N/A)     06 April 2011

Thanks for your valuable thoughts.

We belong to a middle class family from a small town in U.P. near delhi. and when we met their family we just checked their profiles and most important the job of my brother-in-law. they belong to an upper middle class family.

And in first few meetings u can't judge the behavior of others since they can fake it.

The issue is not the way you are percieving it. My family don't want to file any case. But in case they do something then how to protect my family from all this.


(Guest)

@ tajobs

 

I also mean to say that in today's 21 st. Century a bride of Delhi says that she is a cow and MIL and her side are all wild then it is height of innocence compared to rural ladies.

 

 

Sorry tajobs.


Don't agree with you here.

Delhi has modern girls,but it has traditional girls too,who want to save marriages,depending on their family values.Delhi has a mixed culture;modern and traditional.I agree it's more mod. compared to UP,Rajasthan,etc. but not entirely modern.People here are orthodox also.If you have seen here girls in short skirts and jeans,then there are such girls also who just like to wear salwaar kameez.

 

You haven't surveyed the entire female population of Delhi,have you?So,what makes you conclude this?

If there are girls who celebrtae valentine's day with their BF,there are also girls who wait to marry the right man and don't get into all these stuffs.

Delhi is is not America yet.I don't know since how long you have been living in Delhi,that you say so.I have lived all my life here.So I have seen all types of girls here.

Being a "cow"or better still,docile in front of mother inlaw has to do more with family upbringing and a girls' personal emotions,than Delhi culture.If family values are very strong,girls even in Delhi tolerate injustice,just to save marriages.

 

If a girl is emotional and madly in love with husband,she tolerates injustice to save marriages.The city you grow up in does not change your emotions.


I know of American women,and women from Singapore,London,etc who die to have stable relationships and get utterly depressed after a break up.Some miss their ex also,even after divorces and breakups,what to talk of Delhi girls!

As,you know in these countries,women are far more advanced compared to Indian girls,,but when it comes to emotions and family values,such advanced ideas get nullified.

1 Like

(Guest)

The mother-in-law is a Delhite too.Why she can't be wild,if Delhi's women are advanced?

 

All I see around is,that Delhi's mother inlaws(not all) are loud mouthed also.

 

See it to believe it

 

They are fond of gossipping with neighbours and relatives with their loud mouths.(typical Delhi culture)

So gossips about bahu may also be taking place.I don't believe that saas is seedhi saadhi,atleast in a reputed family.

Earlier in joint families,mother inlaws would divert their minds by engaging in conversation with so many grandchildren or ladies of their age,who lived in same house.

 

Now with nuclear families,they get no one to talk to,so feel jealous of the bahu,as she is in front of them all the time,romancing with the son.That is why for such women,engaging in constructive work is important.Else they want to stick like fevicols to sons.There is no harm being close to son,but this closeness soon turns to jealousy,and then to abuses.

1 Like

adarsh (....)     06 April 2011

sir is there any law for men in this same sititution if men is been harresed vvby wife family member

1 Like

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     06 April 2011

 

 

Originally posted by :kamal singh

"

The issue is not the way you are percieving it. My family don't want to file any case. But in case they do something then how to protect my family from all this.

"

OK, understood, in that case your side is safe the only legal case they can ever file is RCR (restitution of conjugal rights) but then it is your sister's choice coupled with your family's firm decision to send her and / or not to send her to In - Laws place. RCR decision if in their favor case and if not obeyed by your sister then after wait of 1 year they are eligible to file Divorce suit. However behind all these they have no criminal / civil case lien against your sister especially if this is going to be a case of Delhi in near future Jurisdiction wise. I wish not to comment on marital future of your sister other than wishing her all the very best reading your second post whose contents were not clear before.


----------------
@ Meenal

Delhi is one city in
India which has no culture of its own it has invaders culture and same can be checked with any historians of your choice in case my English is difficult to digest. My base city is Pune which unlike Hyderabad are referred to as most cultured city in India and I on and off live in Delhi
. Such survey done by me are immaterial as I don't invest my time in such social surveys I am more into gender biasness surveys. I have lived / worked overseas mostly in Pacific continental regions and I am aware of emotions and sentiments of foreign ladies and also have ONE [now Indianised] living at home so less discussed personal chapters the better and it is not mine or your issues we are here to debate.


My outburst if readers wants to know is purely based on using 'reputed' word by author and if one correlates rest of his sentences and then read my take then I still stand by it and second revelation of "coming from middle class" background and all that is not considered as they are secondary opening up of a author in public platforms vis-a-vis my first take on his first posting. Well well rightly pointed some months back by one female author on my postings that I diagnose too bluntly opening posts of authors but then I have no choice as I go by parameters of Law read with societal Law issues and not to be confused with society as generalised because Law evolved from society but society is not Law, complex to understand by some of you but read evolution of Family Laws you will get to core.

 


On conclusion theory I never conclude as Law can never be concluded and coming back to your theory it is general theory on skirts to suits which rural women also wear (relplace skirt with knee length tucked piece of cloth exposing their bare back in threded blouse and for that just travel near to Jamba, Phalodi - Barmer region and or travel with Garasias which I traveled with them number of weeks covering for National Geographic a documentary on tribal movement from Kutch to Thar) so it is not the point here. If I say there are lots of Delhi men who daily drink like a tankers but come navaratra they fast then does it make any comparative sense? No, but yes just for pushing each others enevelops it does and there pops probably Ambika or Roshni's Thumps Up on these posts ha ha so chalo loot ayo aab kaam ki bato mein.....desh ka bhala karo.......bore kar rahe hai eik dosarey ko society ki chapat laga key....society se Law nahi banta hai balki ulta hota hai practical life mei........


Ok, so now what, well well oh my well I am trying to understand you fervent handful women writers too. Give me and take time from me to understand or msunderstand whatever each other .......whatever........


Amen
J 


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