Interference of wild mother-in-law in family matters

Delhi is one city in India which has no culture of its own it has invaders culture and same can be checked with any historians of your choice

fully agree.it had mughal influence.it's slight influence is still there.hence the orthodoxy,compared to mumbai people.

people in the north are more rootless culturally,compared to people from bengal and south.

send them to america,and they become like americans.

people from other towns dont like the culture of delhi.so ur stand is accepted.

@kamal

if u explain how exactly the "wild" mum inlaw(oops maaji) behaves,u can be guided better.cite a few examples of her atrocious behaviors,so that we can decide how to solve the problems exactly.

also tell,in which city u live currently,if u r comfo telling.

@Roshni B.

 My base city is Pune said by tajobji.

Hummm!

@ Roshni

Her behavior is always rude to my sister...she used to shout on her on very small things..she abused my family and on this when my sister becomes upset then she tells others that she don't want to live happily with them...she want to separate their son with the family.

Even during 9th month of pregnancy she took my sister to a marriage and while introducing her to other family members she asked my sis to to touch feet of all the relatives.

The things became worst when my sister gave birth to baby and my brother in law was not present there..

she never gave her healthy food and that too not at right time.

There is long list of her misdeeds ...

@kamal singh

"she used to shout on her on very small things..she abused my family and on this when my sister etc.."

My advise is to better  Contact  to Dr. Hansal Bhachech

      He is an expert in treating mental disorders like depression, anxiety, schizophrenia etc. He is also dealing with psychos*xual disorders like erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation etc., and various addictions like alcoholism, brownsugar dependence etc. Management of neuropsychiatric disorders is his special area of interest. He is conducting seminars on awareness and gives training on various subjects related to human psychology, human behavioural patterns & symptoms, human relationships, stress management. Problems related to these spheres are his speciality.

https://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=175944059753

https://www.hansalb.com/

First take your sister to a counsellor alone.Not with your jeejaji,as he may not agree.Tell the entire problems.

She will tell you how to go about it.

If your bro-inlaw and his mum are not understanding,no point begging them continuously.

So,meet a counsellor.She will guide you stepwise.

Hummm

Why are you teasing him by the way?

Kushan ji

@ Kushan ji

For whom Kamal should contact Dr. Hansal? If mother in law is wild, can Kamal ji or his sister pursude her to go and see Dr. Hansal? 

If Kamal Ji's sister feels depressed because of her MIL's behaviour, unless the root cause of depression is addressed, one sided behavioural changes would not make much of a difference.

@ Kamal ji

If this type of behaviour from your sister's MIL continues and you need to talk to your BIL to ask what he is really going to do about it. If he sounds helpless and if your sister is not able to take it any more, willignly or unwillingly you may have to find a good advocate who can guide you on the possible steps. Are you clear what you and your sister really want and have you expressed your concerns to your BIL and asked him what he is going to do about the issue your sister is facing with her MIL? 

I have never asked my BIL since my sister has already discussed this with him and his reply is always same that he is watching her mother like this only since childhood and she is not going to change so u need to adjust.

and most of the time his reply is that her mother is not wrong and its my sister who do the mistakes...

I woud suggest if your BIL is not cooperating., do contact a good advocate to sort a way out. If your sister alone seeks councellling , it may not work out in the long term. For a peaceful existence efforts have to be from both sides, one sided efforts would result in more frustration, feeling of being used,  and daily taunts as you have mentioned would finally break the spirit of your sister.

Dear Ambika,

I did not advise counselling for the girl,in order to adjust with her tormentors.

It was only to get some help,to deal injustice BRAVELY.

She will help her realise what she wants out of this marriage.

If the girl wants to save her marriage but also live in dignity the counsellor will tell excellent ways to deal with such situations.

It's very important to get professional help when one's spirits are breaking due to regular taunts etc.

For example-CAW cell also refers estranged couples for counselling to a famous Delhi clinical psyhologist who runs an NGO for victims of Domestic Violence.A gilr can also go there alone if she has been a victim,and obviously people who deal with such victims won't give them gyaan on how to "keep pleasing" tormentors.

Then,they also have  tie up with courts.

Dear Meenal

My response was not with reference to your sggestions which are definitely good and should be followed as first step towards sorting out problems. But not all councellors are sensitive and good enough. Often experience tells us one sided changes and strategies are too tiring and assumes a lot from the one who has taken upon oneself to save the marriage. I agree with you that efforts should be made to save the marriage first, but one sided responsibilities always backfires in terms of emotional "burn out".

It is just that while I appreciate your views, I have tried to look at it from another perspective which may or may not be appreciated and yet it is necessary that things can be looked at from different perspectives.

I hope my posting would be read in rigth spirits.

Cheers...