I am working as a software professional in Chennai and my parents are in Madurai. Mine is an arranged marriage(by our family marriage broker who is a close relative of my Father).
Month of Sep 2009 the girl’s uncle(Her Mother’s Brother) came and meet me in my office(Chennai) we both speak for more than three hours then he told me that I am very much satisfied about you, I will go to your home and meet your parents by this weekend. By next day he went to Madurai and meet my parents and the marriage broker.
After 1 week he called my parents and ask us to come to the girls house(Trivandrum, Kerala). Then we fixed a date me, my parents and my relatives went there and see the girl. That time they ask me to speak with the girl. I went and speak with her in a room. We both speak for 5 minutes, she asked me about my company and my education background…… Then I came back from the room my parents and her uncle asked me if she is ok or not. Then I told them for me it’s ok you peoples
just ask the girl also. Then they call the girl and ask her in front of all the peoples. She smiled and said ok. That time her parents told us she got placed in campus interview so she is going to join by January 2010 onwards, she have a training for 5 months after that we will fix our marriage date. We accept for that, we told them before that we have an engagement, Nov 27th 2009 I got engaged with the girl that day I asked her mobile number. After 4 days I called her we have speak about some general topic… She told me we will speak weekly once. 3 days once I called her we both speak
about some general topics only. For one month it goes like that. Between that she got offer from the company she joined in the company on Jan 16th 2010 which is in Mysore. That time onwards she avoid me whenever I called her she won’t picked up the call. Then one day (Feb 2nd week) I called her continuously she is not pick it up then I sent a Msg to her “I want to speak with you whatever time it may be” After sending a message I called her she pick it up and told me why r u disturbing me, we have some hard conversation between us that time she told me “ If I am getting married I will lose
my Beauty” Then I cut the phone. Next day I called her father and told “I don’t want to marry her”. Just find a better person for her and also informed it to her uncle also.
Then after 2 hours her mother called me and cried nobody will marry her if the marriage will stop. In the evening the girl called me and asking sorry for that then I accept it. After that she doing the same thing if I called her she won’t pick it up. If I asked her mother, she said she have lot of exams in her training period so please don’t disturb her up to the marriage.
My Marriage happened on May 16th 2010(A Black Day In My Life) at Trivandrum, Kerala. 15th morning only the girl came from Mysore their parents told us she only get two days leave for her marriage. 19th May she should go to her office. After finishing our marriage we both go her home we stayed in her home on that day we have a first night in her home only. She is not allowed me to touch her in the first night, when I asked her she told me her friend told her to don’t have s*x with me before completing her training. She opened all the window and door in the room and sleep. Next day 17th May 2010 we have a reception in Madurai so her family and me all go by car from Trivandrum to Madurai. We start from Trivandrum at 8:00 am
and reach Madurai at 3:00 pm. Evening 6:00pm onwards we have a reception after that we both stayed in my home in Madurai that day also she is not allowed me to have s*x with her. Next day 18th May 2010 we booked a car from Madurai to Mysore. We started Madurai at 6:00 am and reached Mysore at 4:00pm. I already booked a hotel room in Mysore we directly go there and take a rest for 2 hours then we both went outside and have dinner that day also she told me she should go to her office before 8:00 am so need to get up early in the morning so today also we can’t have s*x. Because of travelling and tiredness I slept on that day. 19th May 2010 I leave her in her office and I came back to Madurai by bus. May 21st she called me and told me that she was shifted her training batch, because of taking 2 days leave for her marriage she missed 2 days class so the trainer asked her to joined from the next batch. The next batch will start from July 07th onwards so come and joined on that day. Then again I went to Mysore on 23rd May 2010 I have stayed in a guest house there, that day she told me she have Periods (three days problem). We both come to Madurai on the way she told me we will both go to Chennai so find a rented house for us. Next day I leave her in Madurai that night again I travelled
to Chennai and search for a rented house within 2 days and give a initial advance of 7,000 and a brokerage of 2,000 for house broker. Between these two day she is not even called me.
Then I go back to Madurai on 28th May 2010 that day onward she behave like anything else. We both are slept in different rooms for next two days. Then I asked her why you behave like that? she told me she can’t accept me as her husband. Then I asked her a reason, she told me she loved a guy for two years, because of her parents completion only she married me.
I asked her Mother, she simply said love is happened in all girls life. So don’t take this as serious. We will take her to our home and convey her. Still she have a relationship with that guy daily she speak with that guy. May 31st she leaved my home after that I don’t get any phone calls from her parents if I called them they won’t pick it up. So I called her uncle (who came meet me on the first day) he said I can’t involved in this matter if anything you will speak with her parents. Then I called two of her relatives and tell everything about her and the behavior of her parents. They spread the matter to all her relatives. All her relatives are called her and ask about her love affair and all.
Then I went to Kerala ask them why you peoples behave like that, they said she is not in a stable condition. She is under counseling with some Psychologist. So you should wait we will inform you if she will become normal. Then I don’t get any call from them between these days they send her to training to Mysore without inform me if I called them they said we can’t do anything so you better to marry another girl. They are not ready to apply for divorce also what should I do in this case….. Please help me.
The Mistakes I did they mentioned to me:
1) I have informed about her love matter to her relatives.
The Records i have with me is the recorded calls and the guy phone number.
I was wounded a lot. I did lot of thinks for her. First thing she asked me is she need a computer. On the next day i buy a brand new HP computer for her.
In my first night i kissed her that time she told me "Street Dog lick me" still the word is in my mind i can't forget the word. I went her home for two times between these days she not even consider me as a human being. If i ask her parents they said she is in depressed condition so don't consider about her behavior and all.
Please advice me for some of my questions.
1) After i find a rented house in chennai i go back to madurai when i entered in to my home she was in a deep sleep. Then i asked my sister (she is studying 10th std) what she did for the past two days she said she is always speaking in phone up to midnight 1:00 clock. She used our mother mobile for two days its a prepaid connection. Then i told it to my sister she speak with her office friends. After our breakfast she behave differently she went to my house terrace and speak for more than half an hour. Then she came back that time i checked her mobile in that i see more than 3 boys names. then i leave that. After lunch she was cried. she told me she can't accept me as her husband then i asked her a reason she told me she was loved a guy for two years in her college (she is a MCA graduate completed her graduation on 2009 Dec only)but the guy cheated her. he is not ready to marry her because of his caste. That guy is a higher caste so the boy parents are not accept for this marriage. I asked her about the boys name and where he is. But she is not tell it me.Then i said ok child (i always call her like that ) leave all the bad things that has happened in your life I won't ask you about the boy in future we start a new life from now. She is not tell anything for that. After 10 minutes she again went to the terrace and speak with that phone for more that 1 hour. After she came back i checked out her mobile she deleted all the call logs and messages. I won't ask anything about that. I gave lot of advice for her don't leave me it will become big problem for you and all but she is very stubborn, she want to leave my house.
In the evening her parents came from Trivandrum through by car to my home and speak with my parents and me. We provide a dinner for them that time also she was cried my father sit near by her in the sofa and cleaned her tears in a lovable father manner. They said the climate and the culture is not comfort for her so we take her to their home she will stay there for 1 week after that we will send her to chennai. When they leave my home her mother asked all the jewels. Then my parents ask me i asked her mother why you want it? she said she should go to some of her relatives in kerala so she need to wear it. Then i gave 3 few of her jewels. I booked a room for them in madurai they stayed there next morning i went to the room the first thing her mother told me Your father behavior is not good he touched my daughter in front of me. Then i got piste up we have a hard conversation about that. Then i called her mother asked her what do you think of your daughter she asked me in which way then i tell her about the love matter and all. She is not take that as very serious. Casually she said it happens in all girls life what should i do for that. Her mother only told me the boy name, She gave a good contact certificate for the guy. The name what i saw in her mobile. Then i asked her yesterday also she was spoke with the guy then she asked the girl she accept it yes i spoke with the guy.
Then i don't know what to do. I told her your daughter behave like a experienced girl in first night also (Here i want to mention it few things: When i kissed her in first night she asked me to kiss in her neck and do it with your beard only thing i did in my first night is that thing only.) That word was hurt her. Then i asked sorry for that. She accept it. Then we all go to a hotel and had a breakfast and sendoff them.
after all i posted in my previous post.
Her parents said the word (Experienced girl) is hurt her a lot and you damaged her name in all of her relatives. Actually i only informed it two peoples one is her mother brother and her sister mother in law.
They only highlight these two things.....
