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Melancholy (Team Lead)     21 June 2011

Please help me to save my Family


Myself Joy Ghosh married in 2007 Mar , after that we are staying separately in delhi away from my perents and my in laws. After few months of my marrige we had to sell our  house (Perents House) for my sisters marrige .


It was an unfortunate event , my sister got married for the second time she was divorced once. There was a big financial crisis which I could not able to solve at that time.

But this incident gave my In laws a chance to talk negetive about me and my family. My wife supported me that time which I can not deny , but situation turn out to be very bad after that , when ever my perents visited my home at delhi they were insulted . My wife got inflienced by my In laws like "Your hasnabds family sell their house no one will look after you " .


In 2009 Jan my wife gave birth of our Daughter "Dhriti" that time her perents were here at my place in delhi. That time her parents were there at my place in delhi. About 10 days they spent with us during that time they went to Haridwar and Rajasthan for vacation , but they did not understand my wife and me needs support as my wife gave bith just one week back. Myself supported her all the time I took leave from my office and stay with her ( My perents were not allowed to come to my place) , I did not say anything because my daughter and my wife will only suffer , I supported my family to the extend I could.

After my daughter's birth my wife told me she will not leave away from me so we stayed together till the time first rice ritual ( Bengali "MukheBhat") which happened at my perents place ( with my wifes consent). All my family members were very happy that time my in laws were also came that time, ( With So many No No will not go there) but they came and they find all the possible and impossible loop holes in my family and the arrengements in the rituals and put nehetively in my wifes mind.


After that my wife get very negetive when ever I tried to talk to her about my perents , this is june 2011 from 2009 my father and my mother did not see my daughter for a single day. All the time she talks negetive about my family and my realetives. Her perents is also supporting her ( From The very first day they wanted this) , they threaten me to file  a case because I torture my wife , they forcefulley taken my sign on a stam paper also.


My wife is getting influenced by her perents regularly over phone and talking negetively all the time about my perents and useing abusive language also. I have recorded some of them .

Please help me to save my family I love my daughter and my wife , I know she is getting influenced my her perents but I know this also athat she loved me so much.


My perents are old they do not have any one to support they are staying at my sisters place , fortunaely my sistes in laws are good and they understand my situation.


Please help me how can I solve this problem , my in laws can file any case againest as I have sign on the stamp paper..

But I want to same my Daughter and my Wife being mis lead my her perents and releatives.


Please help I know it is a log writing but I can t help it Please hep.


 17 Replies

Melancholy (Team Lead)     21 June 2011

Please reply Urgent --- I want to save my famuly I receiveing continous threate from my In laws..



Melancholy (Team Lead)     21 June 2011

Please help, I want to be protected by law


Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     21 June 2011

@ Author 

At this juncture your question is more of extended phases for counseling nature than legal remedy nature however mix-n-match reply is as follows;

See sometimes and or say quite often "love and affection" between spouse overcome narrated security issues with passage of time but when it reaches beyond certain digestive level then strong and straight forward message needs to be passed to all concerned parties who are hell bent to spoil your family life particulalry from the briefs it emerges the suspect neddle points towards to In Laws. For the same here are straight forward messages which needs ot be passed to them without shame and wasting time;

1. Tell your In Laws; the stamp paper signed statement if ever produced in any concerned Court I will deny and also put allegation that I was put under pressure by goons from your side and hence I have to then sign to bring peace in my family. I could not report of such incidence before Police since I wanted to establish a family not turn it into court cases reaching no where........ 

2. Tell your In Laws; look I earn and in due course of time with my hard work I can establish all possible security arrangments for yoru daughter as well as my daughter and such things donot happen overnight, I am married, my parents are old, my old parents donot interfere in my family business at all, my old parents have not regularly even seen their grand daughter as is customary under all personal customs and traditions, we live in a rented place, my daughter is minor, my wife does not work and if you people wants to file any criminal / civil case against me then you will be spoiling your daughter and your grand daughters future first and if you all want to do that then go ahead do it.

3. Tell your In Laws after above: if your daughter files a case against me and my senior rtd. parents then very limited things are going to happen; I and or my old parents may be arrested and put in jail for few days, we allwill come out on Bail, my job may go, my old parents reputation will get damaged in society, your daughter and grand daughter will come and stay with you, you have to feed them, they will with time become burden on you, now with no job I can't be asked to pay any maintenance to my wife and my daughter, even if courts issues warrents to pay maintenance then I will sell my kidney before COurt and follow court orders but that will take years for you to retrive from me, my old parents (one of them) may have a heart attack meanwhile and may be one of them may die due to stress and apathy towards me that is all you all can do to me and my family. The court cases will run in various courts for years which I will attend and keep on saying in all courts that I love my wife and my daughter and wants to keep them and I have not done any cruelties and will give allegations with proof that you are the people who have distroyed my family life so what will happen after some years you all will get fed up with not much relief coming from various Courts and you running from one court to another with your daughter and minro child in rain and sunshine you will give up and come to me to do the talking. Right ! So at that time what will remain of me - nothing so how at that time I can keep my wife and my own daughter whom you all didn’t allow me to see during the court cases all these years !. So all three life’s' are destroyed by your interference. Either stop interference and or still if you all want to interfere then go ahead and do as it pleases your egos. I am now going to lead my own life by providing to my wife and minro child what I presently have.

If you can say all the above i.e. last two paras the same way as mentioned then interference of your in laws will be minimized if they relaise early and or sense and sensiabilities are with them otherwise there is not much with which you can be helped if a family is breaking due to In Laws interference as narrated in your briefs.

These is the ground realities of family breaking laws and now-a-days every Indian husband should realise it instead of pamphering 'emotions and sentiments' whicha re womenl'y traits, thus your parents days of good teachings to you are gone and come to 21st. Century mindset instead of still remaining into 16th. Century mindset.

If you don’t like my above straight forward advise then let me say first 'all the best' and be your GOD be with you.  

Reasoning by way of illustration:
A very old time neighbourhood man first becomes friend of yours, then he starts visiting you at your home in your presence, then he comes and visits your home when you are not there, then he helps your wife at home with grocery and later he also start helping your wife who is sitting at home with Bills payment and sometimes he takes your wife and daughter for amusement parks since you come from office late.....so in such illustration what you as a husband is supposed to do / act / react?

Think from clear head and then you can be saved from any kind of laws.  

2 Like




I may be sounding harsh, but i have no respect for you, who keeps on pampering wife for so-called saying of saving marriage and ignoring parents for 2 long years. Saving marriage is responsibility of both husband and wife, when either of one is willing and other is not willing its better to let go.


Take a strong call and convey strong message. If at all she wants to come back its fine or else move on with your life with parents.


I wish you do not need it but still keep recording of all events and conversations for future use. 




1 Like

Melancholy (Team Lead)     21 June 2011


Many Many tnaks for the valuable information, I am always with my perents I will never keep them abondoned .

I am feeing like I am at the middle of two things which I love the most My daughtrer and my perents ,,,


My daughter love me like anything she could be techched negetively if My in Laws see regularly to her..

I have asked them to stop bothering me and mu family if you continue to do so I will also involve my family and friends and thenlet god decide what is the futture....


yes I need to take  a stand I am a victim of In laws interference ..


The councelling I will do asap ,,


Thnaks again


Nagaraj (NA)     21 June 2011


According to your query your in laws only creating problems between you and your wife I wish to suggest you one thing 'ask your wife what intention she has, if she loves you, ask her not to worry what others says' if she really knows your ability  how you can maintain the family, I hope she will not deny to take journey through the rest of  your life.

As far as parents concerned do not let them away I hope you better know what pain they took to recognise your name in this society!

This is only my opinion on your statement, if you feel any thing wtong in this please forget it

All the Best for your future life along with your wife,daughter and parent and also for upcoming kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1 Like

Melancholy (Team Lead)     21 June 2011

Many thanks Nagraj


I am hopeing for the same,  I can't live withour my family and my family means by perents my wife and my Daughter...

My daughter is a minor she needs me all the time ... I am planning to do some councelling (Mental Concelling)

To give my wife some mental peace my friends in delhi they are with me they supporting in big way ...

They are trying to make my wife happy all the time so that she can enjoy life with me and me means my roots as well ... and see the future ...


What else Can I do I want to try everything possioble before doing any hard and harsh step..



Subhomoy Das (Retail Manager)     21 June 2011

Joy Ghosh:

I do understand your pain and my sympathy is with you. Never loose heart. i`m also a victim of this situation. I`m missing my 1 month old daughter. I lost my father recently. My mother is mentally shocked and stressed. But nevertheless dont ever leave your parents. i`m not telling to leave your wife either. but if your wife is not realising you or dont have any feelings for you thaen what can be done. Marriage or family life cant be lead on Stamp papers or on court orders. Its all from the heart and mind. Remember -- If you leave your parents then it will be gone forever because no one can replace or find alternate of parents. but if you leave your wife or vice versa then there is possibility of getting another wife.  Also remember that there is a proverb in English and Hindi (  EVERY DOG HAS ITS OWN DAY -- HAR KUTTE KA APNA DIN HOTA HAI). Now its ur inlaws days, thats why they are happy and smiling. A day will come that you will be happy and smiling and your inlaws and your wife will be crying. But then it will be toooo late for them perhaps.  Also remeber that EVERY DAY IS NOT SUNDAY. After Sunday comes Monday, tuesday.......  so your time will also come. Have faith and belive on GOD and on yourself. Its just matter of time. If you are true nothing will happen to you..... thats for sure.


1 Like




Just my thoughts,


If you want to have a clear cut understanding of situation , i suggest to meet her clear out following points

  • If she is willing to stay with you.
  • make a firm note about parents will stay together and they will play good part in child up bringing


And if she still response positively then counselling and other steps would help, Or else make yourself prepared to leave without your wife and daugther for couple of years and long legal battle.

gaury..fight to win (Education)     21 June 2011

I feel very sad when i see a father when a father crying for own blood.

My husband never seek his kids n he is busy with his mistress.

Johndel Clay (Account Officer)     22 June 2011

You better consult an attoryney right now in order for you to discuss the issue and take appropriate actions to it.

Melancholy (Team Lead)     22 June 2011

Thank you all for your valuable time you spent to give me a solution , I spoke to my wife about our life and releationship ,, I even told her my perents will not come to stay with us but they will come to see us and their grand daughter because they miss her and us a lot..


But the reply was negetive and insulting , I record that too in my mobile phone. I surprised and amazed that the same lady told me after marrige that after my father's deth my mother will stay with us that is what happen in every family.. " What a change of Mind amazing"

Now that this is clear that she is having big influence from her perents and releatives ,, They want to create problem in our life so that they get benifitted ,,It is now crystal clear


Now from a lawars point of view " Can I do something to stop her perents and releatives to just come and let my wife and daughter take away from me ?"


I am asking this because if they take away my wife even for a single day they will do all the brainwashing and file case againest me to get monitory benifit ot what ever it is..


Please understand my situation ,, if possible please give me contact no of a good lawyear in Delhi


Joy Ghosh


@Joy ,

This is the exact response i suspected from the time i read your posts, You may proceed with advise (given by one of the victim who is going through tough time and winning as well )

1. Buy a good phone with video camera facility and good memory.
2. Keep on talking to her and anyone else in her immediate family.
3. Keep recording these conversations, while in conversations, do the following
    a. Remain humble and lucid in talks.
    b. Mention time and again that you have never demanded dowry
    c. Ask pointed questions like, "Have I ever demanded dowry/ Have I ever mistreated you", you can add "Has anyone in the family ever done so"
    d. Don't worry, if they level allegations, Counter then in a calm and firm manner.
    e. If possibility of face to face talk is there, try to record it on video camera.

Melancholy (Team Lead)     22 June 2011

Hi thanks for the response again ,, I sent a PM to you ..


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