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bethsy (sr software engineer)     30 June 2012

Please help

I got married in dec 2005, ours was a love marriage , got married in arya samaj against my parents wishes as he is Hindu and I am Christian, there is huge difference in our financial backgrounds, my family is well educated, well respected and rich family, and his family is totally opposite,  we have two daughters ( 6yrs and 4 months),  I came to know that he is having affair with widow , she has two sons( 14,11 )... they talk hours together on phone, roam around, have physical relationship too,  when I question him he physically abuses me and there is emotional torturer too, he wants me to accept his relationship with her, should get adjusted and stay, more over he does not earn, financially is totally dependent on me , when I was there at my parents place for delivery he had my atm, he enjoy with her with my money buy her stuff, whatever things in my house like t.v , fridge, car etc everything I bought with my own money, even his clothes I purchased,  there was so much physical and mental torturer so I told my father about this, he asked me to come home as my husband is not listening to elders, or society or even thinking about our daughters, so I came to parents place, it has been 10 days, 2 days back I called that lady and told her because of u I am leaving my husband, and I don’t know what she told to my husband, he came to my parents place forced to come to his house, he manhandled  my parents picked up big fight with them, if my parents were not there he would have definitely would have beat me, my parents and elders went to his house and talked with his brother not to bother me again or they will file case against him, now my question is what I have to should I divorce him or stay separated without filing divorce? please help ( I am 28 yrs old and my husband is 36 years old)



 2 Replies

Ranee....... (NA)     30 June 2012

Have a discussion with husband if he ready to give up that relation or not..

If he is not ready to leave then you can go for separation or divorec..because if he is in the relation while with you..your relationship will not go smooth with him..this will effect upbringing of your kids..

such ehsan faramosh people never change...he lives on you and lives life with another lady..

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     01 July 2012

@ Author,

1.
Stay put at natal home.

2. Continue on your job as and when maternity leave finishes.

3. Hire an Advocate and file for divorce under "mental cruelties" ground. You have resonable proofs.

4. During counseling (if it is filed before a Family Court estabilished under Family Court Act, 1984 in your jurisdiction) make him then agree for Mutual Consent Divorce (MCD). He is bound to agree for MCD. Convert your divorce into MCD. No sentiments / emotions shoudl come in way as it is your life and two kids life you will be 'giving-in' for an adulterous married man which isnot socially acceptable norms!

5. Supervised visitation of kids to him could be given way during negotiation.

6. Post Divorce and or MCD look for a suitable man who earns and has eye for family and get re-married.

7.
Separation remedy will not work in your case.

8. Physical relationship with other woman cannot be proved as per criminal law by you unless you have special knowledge of their relationships by way of access to letters / chat and or pics. of their physical closeness / intimacy not necessary amounting to intercourse. Omit that charge as it is long drawn case(s).

Reasoning:
It is rare to see change in either spouse social behavior when another attractive gender as third party closes the intimacy gap left void by one spouse in a established matrimony !

A metro married man looks socially acceptable living in metros if he
WORKS FOR AN INCOME (whatever that it is!) and if not then with mere lolipops of un-conditional love and kids out of such wedlock the matrimony of metro cities does not go long way.


Make an informed decision now !


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