IBC Code: Complete Overview and Drafting Workshop. Register Now!
LCI Learning

Share on Facebook

Share on Twitter

Share on LinkedIn

Share on Email

Share More

Mehar (manager)     14 May 2014

Newly married wife still in touch with old bf


I really need your advice on something that is quite stressful that is happening in my life.

I was married 2 months ago, and initially for the 1st week my wife seemed enthusistic about the new realtionship, but post that she looked grumpy and sad all the time.

she constantly used be on her phone, messaging. though she had never initiated 1 msg by herself through this 2 months to me!

I happened to glance at her phone 2 weeks ago, while she was away through a particualar number, message such as " ... i miss you.." ..love you.." " ... is he there now..." "... is she there now...." (apparently the guy is married) etc, the length of the message was really long.

she has no initiative or takes no interest in any activities at all. she watches tv all day long with her phone.

we were married through family/arrange marriage. 

this is very disturbing and driving me quite angry too. what should I do? should I engage lawyers..and seek advice incase she has property/wealth only in mind before she flees later?




 17 Replies

great india (manager)     14 May 2014

1. Go through 50 posts on this forum preventing from all false cases before you plan to catch her. 2. Bcoz the moment you ask her either She'll succumb n sorry else she'll attack and pester you. 3. Keep track of her activities and try giving some time to your relationship. 4. Better safe then sorry, shower you immense love and s*x Like srk movie Still not o.k. then wait for a year to file for cases. You have 10 mnths to decide. Good luck.


Its really a waste of time to run behind her proving her adultery.

Such things should be dealt with in a mature manner and be forgotten for the good of married life.

Now whatever you do will be like blowing trumpet before buffalo and wanting to dance to  trumpet tune.

Just ask for divorce, MCD.  If she asks money for giving MCD, then some how arrange money, pay her money and get rid of the b-i-t-c--h.  No use wasting time going to court.  Even in court you will have to pay money eventually, losing lots of years plus money.  So best is pay her money now and get mutual consent divorce.

If you think your marriage might work and she might change, its totally false assumption.  Women iike these dont change, but keep becoming a problem more and more to people around them  Women like these are barren woman whom u think will bear child.

So choice is yours, fight all cases which she will eventually put on you and ur parents etc and roam to courts for 10-14 years, or pay money and get mutual divorce withiin 6-7 months.

Let your good brain save you by making you take the right decision as explained above by me.

Good luck.

Saurav (Engineer)     14 May 2014

This is like a fire you have to step inside and 90% chance is that you will get burned in that fire. But there is a 10% chance that you will emerge out of the fire living........So take that chance......Have patience and give love and chance to your wife to correct her mistake...


Otherwise like the other gentlemen mentioned go for mutual divorce. With divorce , 100% chance you will lose your current wife. Even when you remarry there is no 100% guarantee that next person will be loyal.......There are no guarantees in life.


My advice, try to enter the fire and maybe 10% chances are there you will come out alive (meaning you can keep your current wife) and no divorce.

Summersail (Service)     15 May 2014

Mehar your situation is very tricky. I dont know if you had ever asked her about her relationship with the guy but if not its your fault.

As you have came to this forum your mind is already racing towards the negative cosequences. Try to have an open discussion in a friendly manner with your wife. Try to explore her friends and go with the flow. Maybe in few days you will come to know the reality and depth of their relationship. Accordingly plan your decisions. As you know the laws are very strong for the Women's protection you have to keep calm and break the ice proficiently.

Its better to let go such pain than try to keep hold of it. Ek baat yaad rakhna "Ladki log ko dimag nahi hota aur koi mard unke dimag ke liye shadi bhi nahi karta. ladki ka man kare to taxi driver ke sath bhag jaegi nahi to kisi Amir ki halat Taxi driver ke jaisi kar degi. To beta G###d pe laat maro par pyaar se!!"

Meetha bol Bada anmol!!


Saurav (Engineer)     15 May 2014


Saurav (Engineer)     15 May 2014


Mehar (manager)     15 May 2014

Thanks All for your replies.

I have inputs of be safe than sorry.

I am confused though on

1. why do I have to wait another 10 months, as just these couple of months seems tortureous. Also how do I confront this, do I involve both families too?

2. what will I gain from more evidence? will the ruling be different?

3. I can also try the " pyaar se - demanding and working together?

4. On the other side, do I wait for things to settle and play wait and watch? Behaving normal is becoming very difficult


Key is do I confront or not ? if so - just her, along with parents, and also how to safe gaurd my own interest.

Also if I check with her friends on how deep/serious this relationship was wont it trigger something?


Saurav (Engineer)     15 May 2014

Ask her for MCD , tell her you know everything about her as you have read the text messages.


If she agrees for MCD, then get rid of her.........Even if she falls on your feet and begs for sorry still get rid of her......Such girls hardly change....so better get rid of her and look for a new girl.

Mehar (manager)     17 May 2014

I am still confused, past couple of days the tone of the message is changing  " .... Take care of her.." "... Take care him...." .".... Let me know if you need anything..."

do I confront her now or later, also should I involve lawyers now

i don't know if the trust factor can be established at all......

ashwani (account executive)     21 May 2014


I agree with mr. Rocky & Summersail. And also tried to collect evidence of her cruelty. by call recording or spy cam. by this evidence you can able prove yourself right.

you can talk with her wife about her relations then i confirmed that she will never accepted. And may be she can file false cases of DV etc.

So, please behave Politely & talk her and record all the communications.

priyan Sharma (Officer)     21 May 2014

It is true that you have to play with fire but under these circumstances MCD is the only available remedy for you.

FightForCause (Businessman)     21 May 2014

Mehar Bhai,

Pahle to apni wife ka phone chura..

Aur uski FIR matt hone de...ho bhi jati hai to koi ni.

Jyada se jyada usko whai number ka sim mil jayega..

Keep that phone for later use...hmesha kah sakta hai Almirah mein pada tha...

After this Phone episode..later try to speak to her @ this issue and get her views...

If u like her and ready to take chance..give ur marriage a chance....else best is to convince her for MCD.

The more proofs u have the more u have chances of MCD...else Judiciary system will also make u rot..like all else in this forum....including myself :)

Sugam Dayal (Business)     27 May 2014

I think she is playing game with you. She want you to read her sms and get tensed...

Mehar (manager)     04 June 2014

Ok.... Lot of changes now, this was brought to notice of the families, not only of hers but that guys as well.... They have confessed..... The parents have handled it really well.... Taken her back... At least no bad intention of duping or cheating involved....no MCD discussed as yet.... She is very sorry and is asking for forgiveness.... This is a big moral dilemma .... 

Leave a reply

Your are not logged in . Please login to post replies

Click here to Login / Register  

Post a Suggestion for LCI Team
Post a Legal Query