LIVE Online Course on NDPS by Riva Pocha and Adv. Taraq Sayed. Starting from 24th May. Register Now!!
LAW Courses

Share on Facebook

Share on Twitter

Share on LinkedIn

Share on Email

Share More

nag (same)     31 December 2009

Need help - Divorce

Hello,

Mine is a very big sad story. I want someone to help me come out of the problem.

My wife is very arrogant in nature and i came to know about this just before engagement and opposed to marry her. At that time everybody convinced me saying that she is bit childish and she will change after marriage and things will be cool. And i agreed for marriage and got married. After marriage I wanted her to stay with my parents for some time (I stay in different state from those of my parents) so that I can arrange staying arrangements at my place. From that time she started fighting with me against my parents. I like my parents very much and I can't bear if someone gives any trouble to them. At that time, I took this matter to her parent's notice. They said to her not to do like that and change the behaviour. She agrees to the things in front of her parents and starts same behaviour when she is back to home. It went on like that for 3months later I took home at my place stated living with her and Stayed for one month together. During this time also she always fights with me. She gives lots of mental tension and harassment to me. For everything she emotionally blackmails me. I'm very much tired of this behaviour and took her to parents place and left there. I have to say one thing; I’ve slapped her once times during this time. After some time I came to know that she is pregnant and I forgot whatever happened and brought her back to my place again. This time I brought my parents also with me so that they will be helping her. She always hated my parents. My parents are dependant on me and can't leave them at this point of time for her. They are very old and they can’t stay by their own. She abuses my mother in front of me and all my family members. She treats them as servants which hurts and gives pain to me like anything. One day there was a big fight and slapped her once again when the situation is out of control. This time she called her parents and told that all of us beating her (false information). One fellow from her side called me and instead listening what have happened he started threaten me and my family (saying that he will kill us - I have recorded this conversation on phone). Life has become very complicated now and moreover she is pregnant and she is becoming very arrogant day by day. I felt that anything can happen to her and scared that it may lead to miscarriage and left her at her home again.

Now I don’t even talk to her on phone. I use to talk very less to her during pregnancy time. People kept on telling me that she will change after giving birth to baby. Now she gave birth to boy. I've been there and I’ve seen my son and came back. Still her behaviour didn't change. She still is continuing the same behaviour. Their family member started spreading bad rumours on me among my relatives and my friends. I don't have any hope on her this time. And i don’t want to bring her back. I visited lawyer to give her divorce, lawyer saying to wait for some time she will change time will solve the problem. Everyone I visited says same thing and nobody tries to understand my problem. I'm very much frustrated and not able to perform well at my work and am loosing my mental stability day by day. When I consulted lawyer for divorce he says they may file 498 case on me and my family. Police will arrest me and my family. He is says there is no way out and I have to compromise living with her. He says I may have to loose all my property, job fame everything if they file case on me. I and my family members are very much scared. And not able to understand what to do. Now i don’t have any love to her. I can't live with her at all for the words they used against me and my family. They've caused lot of damage to my reputation. I am feeling very guilty to tell this problem to others at my work place and hiding it myself. This is creating me so many problems to my mental condition. Everybody advises me to bring her back, but this time if i bring her back, my parents and I will be mentally lost for the torture she is giving to us. There is no one to help me to get rid of her. Parents her side are just listening to her words and not understanding me. Now her brother calling me and forcing me to get her back. I don’t know what to do. Can somebody tell me steps to follow to get divorce from her? Is there any harm to my job? (I’m working in private firm). Its just one year completed after my marriage. Is it possible to get divorce?.

Thanks,

Nag

 



Learning

 18 Replies

Hardik Mehta (Family Counsellor)     31 December 2009

Nag,

You can file the case of Divorce stating that you are feeling the stained in the relationships and continuing the relationships with her will make you go mad. You are feeling tortured in the relationship and want to get rid of the same. You may be hit by 498a, but dont worry. You will not loose job or your property. This is all bullsh*t and no one has lost the job in these petty cases. Some conclusion will come out of this event.

 

1 Like

nag (same)     31 December 2009

Hello Mehtaji,

Thanks a lot for your valuable suggestion. You are th only one to give such daring to me. I feel better now. Currently , I live in UP(noida) , and my wife's place is in Vizag. Can you please let me know the detailed process of getting divorce from where to give notice (Noida or UP?).

Do you know any lawyer who can help me in this matter (noida/delhi)

Urgently , needed help.

Thnx  a lot once again,

Nag

 

 

nag (same)     01 January 2010

Hello Mehtaji,
Thanks a lot for your valuable suggestion. You are th only one to give such daring to me. I feel better now. Currently , I live in UP(noida) , and my wife's place is in Vizag. Can you please let me know the detailed process of getting divorce from where to give notice (Noida or UP?).
Do you know any lawyer who can help me in this matter (noida/delhi)
Urgently , needed help.
Thnx  a lot once again,
Nag

PJANARDHANA REDDY (ADVOCATE & DIRECTOR)     01 January 2010

 FOLLOW  THE SUGGESTIONS OF ABOVE EXPERTS.

1 Like

nag (same)     02 January 2010

Thanks a lot. Can Somebody help me and let me know the deatiled procedure to get divorce.

Arup Kumar Gupta, Korba, Chattishgarh ((m)9893058429)     03 January 2010

Dear Mr.Nag

I have gone through your postings and Mr. Meheta’s advice. He is almost perfect. You are mentally tortured by your wife. You want divorce.

There is a little chance that your employer may create pressure unofficially. Officially nobody can do anything but if they convince your employer; if they have so much reach at least; then they may create pressure upon you. Therefore you be tactful and take your employer in your grip.

Yes it is true that they can complain to her local thana against you or can file a case of 498a. But they have to prove the charges at the court. Here is a request that do not say publicly that you tortured her in any way, that may be utilized as evidence against you.

For divorce you have to file a case in writing with nominal fees in the district court where your marriage held or where you both last resided or at the discretion of the court where your wife presently staying. If you take help of a lawyer he will prepare everything, otherwise I may send a proforma /format for you. You are entitled to fight your case by yourself.  Your ground will be cruelty under sec 13 (1) (ia) of the Hindu Marriage act.

I am in receipt of your pm. Detailed procedure to get divorce; and where and how to apply I shall post for you soon. You send your email address to me as pm.

 

You are blessed by a son. What a lucky person you are. Try to understand once again. After divorce she will be free to marry other man. Your little baby will be in great trouble. It is always good to come to an understanding with her. First of all you try for marriage counseling. Convince her that as your little son is helpless and dependent upon his parents like that your parents are also helpless in this age. They are dependent on their son and daughter-in-law. Try to avoid the words which irritate her. Do not expect much more from her like a traditional Indian wife. Mind it always that she is a modern girl. The god is with you.

 

Do not worry, whenever you require legal help I shall provide it. Keep contact with me.  -akg

 

2 Like

nag (same)     04 January 2010

Hello Sir,

First of all thank you very much for your valuable suggestion.I've tried all the possibilities with her and came to final conclusion to give her divorce.It is very difficult for me to stay any more with her. Coming to my son, I want to take care of him completely. What are the chances of getting divorce? if she won't agree.  Please advice.

nag (same)     04 January 2010

Hello Sir,

First of all thank you very much for your valuable suggestion.I've tried all the possibilities with her and came to final conclusion to give her divorce.It is very difficult for me to stay any more with her. Coming to my son, I want to take care of him completely. What are the chances of getting divorce? if she won't agree.  Please advice.

Arup Kumar Gupta, Korba, Chattishgarh ((m)9893058429)     06 January 2010

if your wife agree then you may apply for mutual divorce,-firstly get it confirmed from your wife whether she agreed for mutual divorce or not.. there is a risk of mutual divorce that she may disagree at any time. then the mutual divorce case will be rejected.

another way is to submit a petition at district court of your district, under sec.13 (1) (ia) or (ib) which is as follows; "13. Divorce. (1) Any marriage may, on a petition presented by either husband or the wife, be dissolved by a decree of divorce on the ground that the other party- (ia) has, after the solemnization of the marriage, treated the petitioner with cruelty; or (ib) has deserted the petitioner for a continuous period of not less than two years immediately preceding the presentation of the petition;".

My contact details are email Id arupkumargupta@gmail.com 

tel no is 4945058429;

I reside at korba; chattishgarh. It is 1000km fm delhi. But I go to delhi for some personal work. If you be available there then we may meet at delhi also. Please response by pm and gmail also. Once both of our gmail opens then we can chat also.

 

nag (same)     16 January 2010

Hello,

1)If I file a petition for divorce on grounds of cruelty, what kind of proofs should i've to present to the court.

2) Is there any way out, if they put 498 on me.

3)what will be the consequences once after 498 is filed on me?. I regularly have to travel abroad on job purpose. Does this affect my  Visa/Passport?

4)I'm very much scared abt 498, Does the police arrest my parents also? I also heard that parents of my wife's side are having in mind to file this case on me. But just by fearing to 498,I can not spoil my entire life, career and life.

5) I recorded the phone call , while my wife's relative is threating me and my parents.In this case can i  take any legal action on him also?. Also I've proofs, two more her relatives who are making me and my family unpopular. I don't want to leave them also. Is it possible to take action on them legally?.

6) Now after my son came into our lives , new problem started. She called me two days back and told that my son is not feeling well. I asked her to take him to a specialist doctor (who is my relative). She denies to go that doctor. And saying that her parents are not having any responsibility and forcing me to come there. The only way she and her parents know is emotional blackmailing , blackmailing and just blackmailing. now i'm more worried about my son's health also. 

7) Also, there is divorce involved in our marriage. Eventhough , I never forced her in this matter , they are thinking that 'am doing all this for pending divorce money.From my real frank heart i never thought of that money

8) What if, court disagree for divorce?. I dont have any problem in financially maintaining her but i can't live with her. Is ther any possibility in law to live seperately even without divorce.

9) Last question , can i get my son back after divorce?.

Please advise.

Rgds,

Nag

nag (same)     16 January 2010

Some Correction in my 7th point of my query. Please find it below:

7) Also, there is dowry involved in our marriage. Eventhough , I never forced her in this matter , they are thinking that 'am doing all this for pending dowry money.From my real frank heart, i never thought of that money

 

nag (same)     16 January 2010

I missed out to specify one point:

* Before they lied me saying that my wife has done graduation. But in reality she has not even done her graduation. I came to know this fact after marriage. Now when if i asks about this she argues me saying that she has dine the graduation but not completed.

In a brief:

-> Made fraud by saying that she is a graduate.

-> Misbehaviour with all my family members and relatives.

-> Her parents instead of telling good to her. Always doing dadagiri on me and my parents.

->  She / her parents won't want me to live with my parents.

-> Lost my /family repution among society and relatives. As their family members are spreading bad roumours about us.

-> She is not allowing me to do anything of my wish to my new born son.

Are these points strong enough to get divorce?. Day by day my parents are loosing their healths thingking this matter again and again. I'm not able to see my parents at this age in this position. Please give advice.

 

Hardik Mehta (Family Counsellor)     16 January 2010

Nag,

First of all dont worry about the 498a, this is not lethal. More lethal is the DV case. Even if the 498a case is filed against you, worst thing can happen is that they can arrest you and put you in jail, but to the best of my knowledge many persons who has hit with 498a case are out in couple of days time and they can keep you in jail for max 14 days. I would suggest for you to go to jail for 1 day so that you can counter the cases against her and the court will take this matter seriously. The passport may be impounded, but if there is the way out to get back the passport citing Article 21 of Indian Constitution in High Court. These are the worst possibilities that can happen for 498a. Most of the time the passport is also not impounded, but they can put the condition that you cannot leave the cournry without informing the court. This condition can also be relaxed, if the nature of your job requires frequent travel abroad.  In many cases judge dont even bother to put conditions in bail. When it comes for the trial in court, they are taken to their guns and they go around running and avoiding the court.

 

You can also add fraud in education as the ground of the divorce. If you have got the copy of the personal details hadede to you / your family before the marriage, then this would be the good proof. The misbehaviour is not considered cruelty if it is occasional, but can be cruelty if it is continious. Dadagiri is cruelty, spreading bad roumors is cruelty. Forcing you to alienating you from your parents is cruelty. I would suggest you to tell the relatives or who so ever that if she is true then let her go to the court where the truth will come out. Just be calm to the relatives. As the time goes by, they will also understand. Moreover, you can confuse the relatives by the lying in their romours, that this was told diffrently to this relative and is told diffrently to you? How come 2 diffrent things happen for the same event?  Dont take any such legal actions other than divorce to her. She will come down to your terms. Forget the child at this moment. You will not get the child till he is 5 years old.

1 Like

nag (same)     19 January 2010

Where should i file for divorce (Delhi or AP)?

Plss advice.


Leave a reply

Your are not logged in . Please login to post replies

Click here to Login / Register  


Start a New Discussion Unreplied Threads



Popular Discussion


view more »




Post a Suggestion for LCI Team
Post a Legal Query