Need an urgent advice

Unfortunately when any thing goes wrong in the marriages, the girl's family cries dowry harassment to bring the inlaws to their knees. Anyways, marriage once spoiled beyond a level, can not be revived by threats of jail. Boys family usually prefers to fight than to surrender b4 the terrorist. But where is the end, legal remedy is nowhere in sight. As Mr Shonee said, she may be in the process of giving final touches to her extortion weapons.

Assume that Pooja is telling all truth, there are very less chances for her brother to get timely justice. Setting aside ideal scenerio, we must talk of usual happenings in such a case. He will be bombarded with false 498a package by his X. His family/profession will be ruined. Years will be lost fighting 498a/406/506/DP, DV, Maintenece Cases, Divorec case is bound to move at a very slow pace. There will be numerous pressure points for his family during the progress to sattle the matter by giving her a large money. Despite of sufferng a trauma of ruined marriage & being cheated by out-laws, Law does not give easy exit for him for his divorce grounds. Judges also force MCD rather than expediously moving these cases.

Married life harmoney is based on mutual TRUST & RESPECT b/w the parterners. When trust is lost, everything is gone. Most of such marriages are DEAD, only DECLRATION is needed. But legal system here is SICK. So many yung lives are being dragged for years togatehr in courts in the name of SAVING GREAT INDIAN FAMILY CULTURE.....all hypocracy......Denying divorce to such couples does not serve any purpose, rather it helps to create healthy law abiding society.

Coming back to this specific case of Pooja's Bro, the gall bladder problem, hypothyriodism will never ever lead him to divorce. From the brief, it does not seen that teh girls is INSANE in the eyes of law. I do not know about the exact criteria about hearing loss as a ground. Keeping in view the gender biased laws + snails pace of family courts, best openion in my view is:

1) Try to reconcile by mediation thro' elders & respectables/ common relatives. Even if u haev to compromise to an extent, go 4 it. But if the girl side is threatening to unleash the terror, never give them space.....Only way out is THROUGH!

2) In the latter case, do not waste time to file divorce b4 they can proceed wid their ill plans

Yes, Justice will prevail because definitely, if such case is filed, it will be proven fake for sure. Because it is Fake. 

It is highly unfortunate that people try to get their ill daughters married to hale and hearty boys thereby hiding those facts before marriage. We became a victim to such a family.

Law must  allow a thorough medical checkup before marriage of both the girl and boy so that atleast the ratio of such decietful marriages will go down remarkably. Had we known this beforehand we would not have gone ahead with the alliance.

Everything can be sorted out by talking. She got unstable and behaved hysterically just before the CT Scan. We never asked her to leave the house.It was her decision. We tried to contact and talk but they never responded. So, we know that we did not leave any stone unturned to get in touch. Rest is her wish.

I am surprised that respectable people representing Law are ill wishing without knowing the complete facts and not trying to understand that such stories can not always be one sided. I am also a girl and my upbringing is such that I would never hide any facts which may affect my marital life nor will I enact any drama because it clearly reflects on your own family and brings shame and disgrace. 

Thank you anyways.

I have highest regard for Adv Chandu, 

But sir, from where did you conclude that it is a fit case for 498-a?

Can not a person get his wife examined by a doctor for some remedial measures.

Whenever, I see such scenerios, I am reminded of a case history, I have seen closely

A wife was suspected to be suffering from "Pre-Menstrual Dysophic Disorder", and as suggested by someone, the husband wanted to take her to counsellor for treatment after informing her family.  Her brother and bhabhi asked the husband to go ahead without informing her mom and sis. But the husband didnot think it prudent and informed her family.

And lo, here comes a phone call from wife's elder Sis. "Tu koi pagal hai jo Psychatrist ko milegi?"

Baba, Pagal na ho jao, isliye to mil lo. 

And why 498-a for it? If someone has Dengue, won't you take him/ her to doc? Why not for mental illness?

There is a vast diffirence between Marriage Counselling, Psychatric Help and Mental Asylum. Sad, most "intelligent" people don't understand this.

SR alias Pooja, Whatever help you need, we are there.

Regards,

Shonee Kapoor

harassed.by.498a@gmail.com

Please read the full post and then comment in the thread.  We all, very well understand the difference between buying a car and marriage. 

Stop generalizing and sympathizing without knowing all facts.

No one can do anything if the other party hides important facts related to medical history. In an arranged marriage you can not know anything related to medical ailments just by looking at a person. Hope now, after reading the full post, you would not try to jump to conclusions ma'am.

Dear author:

First of all I must make it clear that I was speaking neither for boy nor for the girl. I was putting myself in the girl's place and trying to experience how I would have felt. We all in our life face medical problems and get treatment for the same. The problems can come any time. I will emphasize that the same can come in immediate aftermath of the marriage. Suppose a boy after marriage meets an accident and is badly disfigured. Shall we justify if the girl leaves him.? 

I wanted you to look at the problem in some other way beyond any laws and complaints. Foundation of marriage is not only s*x which in turn has roots in physical make up of parties. If it were so there would be no husband wife relations in old age.  Perhaps if you had adopted her even knowing that she or her family had lied to you, she would have felt tremendous gratitude towards the family .  Do you think that her reaction is instantaneous ? No ! It is culmination of her unexpressed anger towards your behaviour.  I know it is not easy to take blame.

Have you assured her that she would return to her matirmonial with dignity and never subjected to that doctor-patient attitude if she chose to do so.? 

I am surprised some of the members talking 498-A , joining associations of 498-a victims and what not.  As narrated by you the girl family has done nothing so far. Donot compromise on fear. It will not last. If your brother can still love the girl, go ahead and make best efforts.  

Best Wishes.

Dear Mr. Thukral

I totally respect your stand. But it is a fact that the medical ailments were not told to us. It was a newspaper matrimonial alliance. We are normal people. If we were told about ailments, we definitely would not have gone for the alliance as there were other proposals too. My brother is a very good human being. He met her once and after talking decided to go ahead with the relation as he also has a sister and didn't want to say No to the first girl he met. Our fault is that we didn't do a background check and believed on facevalue. Why would anyone ask for a medical history if the girl's father keeps on saying that she has been perfectly fine through out and never had medical history. We are health concious people and we conduct our medical check ups every year. So my dad also repeatedly asked on our pre marriage meetings. During our pre marriage meetings we even stated the same to the girl's family. I myself asked the girl about her blood group as we didn't want a RH -ve blood group.  We come from decent armed forces background. We would never ever resort to anything that is unfair and can lead to an unhappy life for my dearest brother and his wife. Infact he is a man who takes his own decision. At a tender age he joined NDA so as to join Armed forces and since then he is an independent man. My father too is a retired senior armed forces personnel. 

After disclosing the facts, she herself willingly went for the check up and during the check up disclosed in the medical sheet that she was suffering from a thyroid dysfunction since childhood. My brother had observed certain things in his stay with her (during her monthly cycles) and he stated the same to her as well as my mother also. We still ignored and just mentioned that we will get her checked soon. Only upon mentioning this, out of fear she chose to disclose all the problems to us and she even stated that her parents told her not to disclose ever. After her disclosing of these facts we asked her to do the medical as all the family members were together after a long time so that nothing is delayed on health front. We stay at different cities due to job commitments. We never mistreated her even after these revelations. It was her parent's fault. After 2 days on the day of medical, after speaking to her mother she became unstable, hysterical and violent in full public at the hospital and our home too. Despite our best efforts,she left us. We even wrote to her and her father and called up frantically but she didn't respond. It has been almost 30 days now. We have tried everything to communicate but all is going in vain.

......and after bringing her back to matrimonial home discuss her med. problems as a friend. Let her take best possible treatment. After all the ailments were invisible at the time of marriage. The same would disappear again after treatment.  The girl should not feel that in the clinical test you are getting excuses to get rid of her. 

Thank you for reverting to all my concerns.

thyroid problem is ok as it can affect in fertility of the woman but i can't digest the point that after gall baldder operation any other damage can happen without any pain or such other symptoms.

You are right Ms Utpala. Thyroid dysfunction may lead to fertility and pregnancy issues.

For gall bladder open surgery, after looking at her liver function reports and spleen enlargement due to dilated vein, the consulting physician asked to take a CT scan on priority and also a gastrointeritis specialists appointment for ruling out any further problems. As per the doctor, this was just to get 100% satisfaction of her proper liver functions. But just before the CT scan she created a horrendous scene at the hospital and later somehow when we managed to take her back home from the hospital, she subjected us to another humiliation in the society premises and left us the same day.

A fat woman was constantly being refused by men who saw her for a marriage.  She was persuaded by family members to go to gym, she was made to spend hungry nights and finally 80 kg woman became 50 kg and started looking better.  A guy married her finally.  After marriage, she did not find any necessity to go to gym, and diet because whatever she did was just for marriage.  She started eating happily and grown to 100 kgs. 

A man after marriage started smoking and became a drunkard too.  Prior to marriage he never smoked, never touched hot drinks.

A man lost his leg after marriage after meeting with an accident.  The only duty for wife henceforth is to serve him.  She has no pleasure of s*x too. 

Our laws do not say anything in these cases.

I hope we will not see a day when marital cases end up in Consumer forums.

this is not a case wherein things happened to the girl after marriage. We all know that after marriage any kind of ill health is the husband's responsibility. And it is his and his family's moral duty to take care of his wife and vice versa.

But in our particular case the girl was having a medical history since her chilhood. so the case is totally different from what is quoted in the previous thread message.

yes i agreed the view and opinion of Mr Harbhajan Singh ji, because now she need his affection , more over she is really love all his family member and not like to even go for her native. So now she need his closeness and soft corner.

We first see by way of humanitarian wise then ...