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samir (consultant)     11 June 2013

Need advise on this matter

My wife and myself got married on 23rd november 2010 and have been staying independently at mumbai since then(My parents are staying in Orissa). but due to bad and rude bahaviour of my wife we often had fights between us. the reson for her bad behaviours are -
1) she is highly short tempered and very aggressive
2) she does not have a good upbringing as both her parents are into job 
3) she is very open minded in terms of making friends with boys over internet
4) she does not have family values as she hated my family very much.
due to constant fights on 27th April, 2013; she provogued me to the extreme and tourtered me very much. she scolded my mother and sister in very bad language and started throwing glass utensils at me. so to make her silent and bring sanity i had to take physical action against her; completly within limits though. my intention was never to hurt her rather to just make her silent and stop her indecent behavior.  however as a pre-planned strategy from her side she suddenly ran to our neighbours house. there she alleged me of domestic violence. before they could talk to both of us she just left the place and went to stay on at her Boss's house. Since that day she has been staying outside and had no contact with me. i have tried very hard to make her come back to my life. but she is not responding to my calls or mails. last seen by my neighbors she is leading a very good life with her friends and job.
 
Please suggest me on this matter how to proceed and what action she can take from her side against me or my family. Since almost 2 months she left my house and is staying outside. Or do I need to initiate anything from my side and if yes then what will be the consequence?


Learning

 1 Replies

Vinayak (self)     11 June 2013

 

Sad to hear your story

It is also difficult to decide just seeing one mail

but trusting you on face value and going by what you had written, here is what I can say

 

first you have to decide on what is that you want ? 

What do I mean by that ? some examples below 

 

Sample / Option / path / direction ..... # 1. do you some how expect this woman to become the "debta" you imagine, come home and live like a coy wife ? 

 

Sample / Option / path / direction ..... # 2. are you ready to fall at her feet and say you do what you want, you stay with whom ever you want, you say whatever sh1t you want about my mother and sister, but just for the sake of society wear the mangalsuthra and live like a wife ?

 

Sample / Option / path / direction ..... # 3. or are you ready to say "....forget marriage .... " "...let me first assess my position, see what has happened to 1000s of smart guys who got married before me, let me network with other such men ...." and "...let me lead my honourable simple life ??...."

 

Example / option 1 is outside discussion on forums, that is part of Bollywod movie dreams 

 

Example / option 2 : that's pretty easy, all is in your hands ... and probably legs and head ! just decide where and how to fall 

 

Example / option 3 : Like most honourable things in this life that takes time and patience .... decide IF you are ready for that 

 

 

more after hearing from you

 

regards

Vinayak


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