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divya (mrs)     03 March 2011

need advice


I am in love with a married man ..who is trying his best to leave his wife.He has been married to her for 6 years..She has been harrasing him mentally and physically for all these years. She is demanding him 50 lakhs to get out of the marriage..which is so impossible.They have had a temple marriage with a temple marriage certificate.Some lawyer consulted by him said that the certificate does not proove that they are legally married so they cannot apply a divorce on the basis of the temple paper. so it can be mutualy sorted out ..

plz advice me on this. how can he get a dicorce from her she isnot willing to give him divorce unless he pays her 50 LAKHS..How can he start a procedure for separation ?? is it necessary to be done before filing for any divorce procedure.?


 25 Replies


Every new girl who want to marry to a married man she thinks that husband's wife is harrasing him mentally and physically for all these years.(I am in love with a married man ---Ye sub filmy hota hai come out from them and know the reality after marriage you will know how love works or not?;()This is a very risky steps ,if you fails then you loose everything.Every girl are not shilpy shetty and every men are not raj kundra.;)


Do you have any proofs?any facts? Only you see first sight?( love at first sight)


If you marry to this man and after a years if another woman want to marry this husband then what you do?She also think that you have harrrass him a lot.

She is demanding him 50 lakhs to get out of the marriage..which is so impossible.

Kya kare wife? so it means she want to continue the marriage thats why she demand the whopping amount .

Temple marriage or not but marriage regiustration is must  but here the couple are living together for 6 years.

My advise is to better to forget this man and marry to another man.

3 Like

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     03 March 2011

@ Author,

Thanks to bringing to readers knowledge that a Hindu wife is harassing mentally and physically a husband with whom you want to marry provided he has a legal divorce from his first wife.

Some solutions:

1. Ask this man to collect taped and video evidences of "harassment" / torture meted out in the hands of his wife. Preserve them in a sealed CD and along with sufficient collection of such mental cruelties he can very well present a Divorce Petition before Court seeking Divorce on mental cruelties grounds. The temple marriage / un-registered marriage is no gro9unds not to file a Petition for Divorce.

The CD is valid acceptable evidence of such mental cruelties. Given to understand the Court procedure and time it will take sometime to get a Decree of the proceedings. You may wait till then.

He may be asked to pay interim maint. to his wife to run his Divorce case. A wife seeking 50 L from a husband shows the man is of some means (possibly atleast he is a mini lakhpatia) meaning thereby giving maint. to his wife to run the case may not be a major problem here as he is maintaining you too na inspite of being married on the go ! Further provided his wife is not working anywhere then no interim maint is even required to be awarded by Court. If he proves grounds of divorce then he is even not required ot pay her any alimony (that is one time settlement amount to wife).

Once Decree in hand both of you need to wait for 90 days and if no Appeal against the Decree filed by wife then may have a marriage ceremony and register the same and carry forward with this man as your husband.

You as a un-married lady have got certain Constitutional Liberties and no one shall stop you "loving" a single and or a married man and films are films which showcause ordinary life’s in dramatized version and real life is practically different when two people fall in love and no one shall stop on account of one wife mental cruelties inflected upon her husband over a lover’s un-conditional love to this bechara middle mei fasa - Hindu man.

All the best.

Jamai Of Law (propra)     03 March 2011

You love him and not his money........................don't you?


Then just request your lover to  pay off 50 lacs to his wife...and then marry after he gets divorce from his wife.


Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     03 March 2011

Kushan is right.


What kind of woman are you? Breaking another woman's home!


What is the guarantee your boy friend will remain faithful to you always?


Tomorrow he can leave you once another woman crosses his way!


See the latest example of Mohd. Azharuddin.He left his wife for Sangeeta Bijlani.Now he had another affair after being married to Sangeeta bijlani for many years...and left her.

I hope u also get the same treatment as sangeeta bijlani in your life.

even if u get married to him...u will be treated as a second grade wife everywhere.

more so because u were responsible for his break up...people always respect the first wife,if she was innocent.If you go to any social function with him,especially in  a traditional one like marriage,after seeing ur face they will murmur amongst themselves"oh she is the lady with whom he had an affair before breaking his marriage".(i have personally seen such cases).this is not USA where people are very nice to someone who entered his life after breaking his marriage.

i personally know of one family where the wife left her husband for someone else who was richer than her whereever the new husband goes alongwith her,people dont even talk to him.they have been married since 2000.but till now people have no respect.he is ignored by all.they did not even invite him to their homes after they were newly married.

now this girl is having problems with him too and regretting why she married him in the first place...because he too is not doing so well in his business...while her ex is presently doing v.well in his practice as a lawyer(he is a lawyer by profession)

dont follow tajob india's advice.

he cant use a taped conversation is not always relied me!

he says u have the right to freedom to love sum1...u may love him in ur heart.but be practical also.why dont u meet singles and choose sum1 as ur life partner?

even if u marry him,later on he may find faults in u and compare u with his 1st wife


now coming back to the present..

his wife will file a 498A or other cases against him,and it will take many years in court.


by then u will become buddhi and this man may not like to marry a buddhi he will either go after his 1st wife again or someone else who is younger after ditching such he is unfaithful.

and tum haath malti rah jaana(rather this is wot u deserve)

2 Like

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     03 March 2011

@ Roshni

Can you rebut me as legal reliance, when you say and I quote you 

"dont follow tajob india's advice.
he cant use a taped conversation everywhere. it is not always relied upon. trust me!"

If you cannot bring on board any rebuttals on this evidentry subject then it is not nice to advise as above !

However I will wait from you what legal documents you are relying upon when already 6 HC's judgments as well as 2 SC Case laws are there under Family law (Divorce / Maint. / Alimony) which have relied upon taped / SMS conversation and granted Husband divorce till date to the best of my legal practice read with knowledge which I shared with this lady.....

And how writers can ignore when this lady is saying a truth that “his wife is harassing him mentally and physically” – so it seems you all writers want this lady to sit and meditate for this man now in his life and this husband is leading a blissful life kya with all those harassment metted out by his wife on him......…c’mn writers.....……perhaps it is rightly said ‘Women’s worst enemy is another women” like your coloured post as advise to this lady devour of any legal merits.

And way shall this wife file 498a as you are saying does the brief presented by this lady smell of ingredients of "any mental cruelties of husband on demand of dowry upon his wife?"……… no na then when simply because he is fed up with all these harassment he is planning to file a divorce kar ke puncha isney …..kya baat hai…… tabhi mai kahata ku kabhi kabhi ki Roshni tumhse mei confuse rahta hun jaab sey forum mei ayi hon jo ki kahati kya hon eik post mei aur dusarey post mei kutch aur pura 360 degree turn ………..chalo janey don apas mei ladai kar key kya karma mainey apsey thek hai apaki advise bhi

Ta ra ram pum pum....... 

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     03 March 2011

@ Tajobs


just as kushan said....any girl wanting to separate her lover from his wife will say wife is being cruel.


even some men lie to their lovers that my wife is being cruel,to get rid of her.


tajobs...aapse thori mai insaaniyat expect kar sakti hu kya?


u may be from a democratic country...where everyone has constitutional rights.but does it mean we misuse our rights to take away sum1's legal rights?

u talk a lot abt females misusing laws and all


but here u r teaching this selfish girl divya to misuse her constitutional rights..

if that be so,i see no harm if women misuse laws...

let innocent people go to jail...if u let an innocent wife suffer at the hands of cruel husbands and their cruel lovers

this woman divya is utterly selfish and may be lying to separate a couple...and u r telling her ways to fulfill her selfish needs?is it right on ur part?


ur one wrong advice can ruin someone's life...because we dont know wot situation the wife,her kids or her parents may be into!

please yry to understand...u r also a father of a daughter


if she demands 50 lakhs,how are u sure divya is telling truth?


even if it is true,how are u sure the wife is a cheat only becoz she demands this much?she may be forced to because of adequate damage done to her physically,mentally etc by her husband and this mean lady divya?

so without knowing whole situation, why do u advise women like divya different ways to break another woman's home whose story we dont know till now.

wen u advise a needy wife or husband i never say anyth. even if i may differ with u on a few points.


but here a selfish person is asking for ways to break a relationship,in which u r helping here i am forced to speak up..

i talked of 498A because if a wife is being tortured for a divorce she may as well file it...

according to me we shud refrain from legally advising people here who seek advice for breaking a relationship...remember wot goes around comes around.

u r very fond of anand richa's meditations...i dont exepect a person into spirituality to be giving such advices...u must have also read and heard umpteen no. of times that wot goes around comes around...

divya will pay for her misdeeds,but y do u want to misuse ur legal knowledge into giving selfish advices to people...if u use it to help a genuinely needy person then only ur education and knowledge are worth of appreciation

i dont know about ur family structure...only that u r divorced


imagine if ur own sister or daughter was in place of this poor wife,and ur bro in law's or son in law's lover came here to seek advice,wud u advice her the same after knowing who she is?

put a hand on ur heart and answer me?

else...mujhe bhi jhagra nahi karna..u may choose to ignore..but if u reply i repeat my question in the above sentence..

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     03 March 2011

@ Roshni gurudevi ji

Law is very clear and in law there is no place for sentiments and emotions. If we all agree to this then one may read further;

1. As a forum writer one should give legal advise based on presented brief not mixing this brief with some other brief and a writer should not act like THE Judge and not go into who is telling truth or lie as for exactly that purpose Court of Law is there in this Land. This I learnt from Archana and Suchitra they both are wonderful to the point writers till the women brigade including you overran this forum since past few months and turned it into a personal khap (said it in lighter spirits) and I can place materials of what way you all start writing then where you all take twist and then where the turns comes in same post so let us leave all these away from a brief such as this ladies enquiry. She is adult and knew all these before entering into a married men’s relationship and society is explicit in it and nothing new this lady is going to do and Indian society is today evolved to the point where medieval mindset are not required - one side you talk of empowerment and another side you want to be chained to sacredness, had it been so rosy today all these female laws were not required can you counter this argument at the end of the Board?.

2. If you want to convey a advise to someone in a legal forum convince with too the point Law in hand not with personal remarks as you are making to me then going to my child (if I have a child and if so then whose gender even you do not know BTW) then all these two were not enough then you crawled to my mother and my sister forgetting I am not at all a divorcee here and I have brothers too probably without knowing if one is alive or even not! Who is making a backdoor entry into my family and why ji…..Tell me great gurudevi ji is in Law when you plead (make a submission) do you talk if you married or divorcee then to first second and third generation before the Bench then come to your plaint arguments kya? If yes then your long paras on me are nice rebuttals minus what exactly I asked to you which you did not reply at all (tape recording / email printouts / sms admissible family law mei hai ki nahi yeh batao - dundho dundho citations aab) instead of going to my wife my daughter my sister or to my mother arey ruko ji aur bhi bahut female relatives hai meri joint family mei mere ghar mei madam………aab sabko lapetna hai kya issi post mei, kamal hai ji……...

3. However, if you want a reply to your direct que. to me I need not have to go American way to put my hand on my heart the way American's do, I will speak from my mouth which is what Indians do and it is going to be - YES - I stand by my advise which is too the point to a que. asked by a author read that again it has all the ingredients said in short way wherein I warned about long legal case - I also gave hint of spoiling someone’s life and finally talked of best evidence which is applicable to get out of a abusive relationship and why should I favor a wife if she is abusive given to understand from this brief? Do you expect all briefs in this LCI to be on Oath Affidavit paper kya to pass your or mine litmus test then only we will reply and who are we two to bound a new author for that.....we take things in public forums on face value not on personal judgmental value….

Painfully may I ask did your in-laws had any insaniyat upon you (this I am not supposed to ask directly not only to you or even to any authors / writers here but since you are requesting me to show insaniyat I asked). We Advocates are not here for an ideal husband and or an ideal wife situations nor legal advise within parameters of Family Law is meant for that in Legal forums for that social networking forums are there otherwise things would have been different today in society whose vowing you are casting upon me.

However, did you not like Anand Richa n uff oh I also listen to Shakira so there goes for a toss spirituality theory vowing on me, I am as spiritually corrupt as any other ordinary Indian is so nothing wrong and right in it for your records for next time quoting.........yaad dila dena mujhe fir se kissi aur post mei kya kaha tha aaz yaha......

[BTW, Aab mai batau apko kyu bura laga meri blunt legal advise !
Answer simple hai aap aaz bhi khoz rahi hai uss under ki shanti ko jo apko personal life mei nahi mili - apki various postings mei nazar ata hai who confused under wala dard] aap gender neutral posting nahi karati hai jaab mauka mila aap bhi lapet leti hai madam ji...aab dundho saab apani post mei kiss post ka re. de raha hun yaha  

Anyhow it is upto this lady what she want out of her life and or from her this married man's life who is in a abusive relationship now that she has both sides of views from various writers let her pick and choose what is good for her.  

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1 Like

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     03 March 2011

@ Tajobs


I am not in a mood to argue.Even Nandkumar Jee above is saying the same thing that I said.


No good lawyer with a heart will suggest this mean woman various techniques to break someone's home.

there may be citations where recordings wud have been used to show cruelty.but in another thread where the use of "vulgar language as ground for divorce" was discussed,prabhakar jee had very clearly said,by posting its judgement that mere recordings wont do....there have to be many instances of cruelty over a long period of time.after all,any1 in anger can say 100 things,if provoked.that doesnt make him a habitual abuser.

Lastly,before ending this argument,I will clarify that I did not "drag" your family members like daughter and sister,as per your perception.i am not interested in making scapegoats out of innocent people who are in no way related to the matter in question.

I simply asked u,if u were into same situation where the rights of ur sister or daughter were involved,what wud ur stand have been?


And i did not take your mother's name at all...i dont know where u read it!


zimmerzapper (student)     03 March 2011

roshni b. it is nice know that there are people like you in these times

1 Like

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     04 March 2011

1. A married man suffering in the hands of abusive women no one should see as in the brief ! very good !

2. A married man falls in love with a un married women is no-doubt subject matter of S. 494 IPC but in cases where a married women runs away with her lover or has extra - marital affairs no Court and no women like you will point finger at ! why !!!!

3. A wife abusing mentally as well as physically her husband is false story and you say who knows and all women in such relations are of loose character and who falls for a married men are like that ! what a logic !!!!

4. A wife inspite of above para 3 happening still has tenacity to demand 50 L no one would say a word on her legal extortion  ! common !!!!!

5. A lady falls in love seeing all these and much more probably and with this married man of 6 years marriage and the married man also wants to get out of this abusive relationship is not being helped just because a interest of wife is there ! so everything should revolve around a wife and other females are chakala belana gr8 message you have !!!!!

6. A married man having only temple marriage certificate goes with his marital issues to Lawyers and he is shoveled away saying these are not enough you need a MCD why bze married man while consultation might have said wife asking 50 L and yet we say no good lawyer knows not that a marriage certificate of temple is sufficient to initiate divorce proceedings and fact of 6 years old marriage is also enough to initiate a proceeding and for that MCD is the only norm ! com'n 

7. But if a wife goes to a Lawyer with her ‘gospel truth’ all possible sections of IPC / CrPC / Civil Law is template printed and presented with police to a husband without thinking twice if the untried issues of facts as told by wife to a Lawyer are enough or not to proceed but fees are taken in advance to kill a husband legally be it so 6 yrs marriage or 6 hrs. old marriage ! this is also gr8 advise !!!!!

8. No lady shall fall in love with a married man but a married man should day in day out suffer in the hands of his wife who physically and mentally abuses him and domestic violence only Indian husbands do and it is never heard and acceptable till date that a wife can also inflect domestic violence upon her husband and when a lady friend of husband makes this a part of her brief she is branded as house breaker as if wife was doing home decoration all these days !  this is also a good logic !!!!

9. A married man falling in love with a lady is branded as a criminal man without trial but a wife torturing him is no domestic violence and no one should read that down and yet she is the only cow in Indian society ! Yet a twice married man is shunned as seen by you my que. is have you seen arm candies ever in rural to urban India kya......

10. A lady falling in love and plans to get married is branded all sorts of brand and even told that she will become buddhi and social stigma are strongly against her ! as if no one watches choicest sentences of today’s younger girls on Bindas and Color TV channels on emotional atyachar or date trap or these kinda TV shows what are they other than reflections of same society which you are keeping on false high pedestal !!!!

11. A rapist goes to a Lawyer and says he raped a women but he needs a Lawyers help to save him. Lawyers do pick his case not that we donot know the truth but because he needs to be defended and Law is very clear on this that no accused will not be tried without a advocate and if we leave his case someother Lawyer will take the tab ! Fip it a critical accident patient is wheeled into a hospital should a D. see him or shovel him out saying leave him anyhow he is going to die soon ! 

12. Any author coming to Legal Forum has already passed the test of social stigma / social helps and is not naive to just find LCI from blue and pop a Legal que. that still social pravachan are given to her / him, h/she needs legal help that is why s/he is here. 

You wanted to know about my reaction then you take a glimpse of my mind; If I was this lady I would have done the same i.e after all social drama I would have sought legal advise bze I love this man and man reciprocates my love and thi sis my present need. If my sister was this wife I would have asked her to mend her ways bze afterall it is her marriage. And if my sister would have been this lady then I would have told the same i.e watch the steps and these are legal pitfalls and these are ladders to success choose your best foot now. If my daughter was this lady then I would have asked her to take her best foot forward on her own call not social or family call and she is responsible for any acts of omission and commission if any. And if my daughter would have been this wife then also I would have said to her to mend her ways. There is no rosy picture today in contemporary Indian society that a women needs extra protection from elders or brothers or fathers or even from her own husband and or son, all post 80's women knows more Laws and social reaction in favour of them then men because right from birth a girl is cautioned more on 'ifs' and 'buts' of society than a boy child. If you are not involving my sister and daughter into this then what you were doing by asking me to be in their shoes for a moment !!!!! Next time when you talk to me talk on law points and if you have to talk on social points talk to your peers and do not mix people in one message talk straight to the point atleast to me or ignore my posts and leave your cravings to must have to post to his message kar key I am happy minus all these attention you are giving to me.

And leave Prabhakar out of these we advocates knows how to handle and give and take each others views and anyhow one word of Prabhakar is not Law of the land and same is good for me too as Law is such a vast subject that it takes ages to develop skill sets yet we still say we are incomplete some thing here and some things there. He is knowledgeable and a interesting person to engage in meaningful point of view conversations over various legal topics that is all I can say about him in context of this post.  

If it hurts sentiments and emotions of other non legal readers then read my message with caution next time and allow ld. Advocates to reply to various forum posts instead of forcing your social views in all posts of Legal nature we have bread and butter needs also and families to support too.


"A married man suffering in the hands of abusive women no one should see as in the brief ! very good !"




Who knows who is creating sufferings for whom?

The author must have caused rift by way of extramarital affairs.


This may have frustrated the wife,who may be taking out her anger on the husband for cheating her.

There must be fights going on in the family because of this author.But the husband,blinded in this blind lustful love may have refused to see his own folly

And now the author is innocently asking "How do I marry my lover whose wife is torturing him?"



By the way.Why are people in this thread fighting with one another?

See,this lady created a rift in this thread and went away quietly.When she can create such rifts online,she may have done so in people's lives also.And people are fighting for her!


Oh my!

1 Like

divya (mrs)     04 March 2011

Well thank you all for your valuable advice. I am not a home breaker as i willnot get married until i see this man get his freedom..He is not a rich man thats why the 50 lakhs asked by her is a way of harrasment..Yes i have loads of recordings for her asking for it.It just shows that in this indian society women can get all the sympathy and men who are abused by women go scott free.I have done all my background check on this lady....unfortunately i know her and she knows me..Have seen her slap him and  abuse him in public.She gets along her dad who is an ex mla and abuses him together physically and mentally ..when ever she travels she carries his passport and other imp papers and belongings together so that he does not have a hold of it..Credit cards ,debit cards etc everything in her hand..I dont think you should judge anybody without knowing the truth..he has to report to her via cell phone every one hour ..he has to click his pics on his black berry and send it to her after every phne call.His facebook gmail passwords r made by her and cecked everyday..Does this man have any privacy ?? no ?? she writes his facebook password as sorry for this language "haramzada" just so that when he types it everyday he will know he is one..I was his friend t the beginning..and am still his very close friend...yes we are in love but knw our boundaries.All he is asking is his freedom . I am not supporting him just becuse i love him ..I AM SUPPORTING ALSO A CAUSE THAT YES MEN DO GET TERRIBLY ABUSED BY WOMEN TOO. I respect  all that yuo have written to me above and have read it carefully as your advice to me..All i can say is let the truth win..and hope it does..but seeing the negative response from a few i must let him know that may be he has no chance to freedom..


I asked for advice in return all i got was abuses myself..

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Mallik Karra (Done with AIBE)     04 March 2011

@ Author - easy....

You are clear what to do, and tajobsindia & Nandkumar has given you the legal points and forget about all other crap... if you notice this is very common in every thread... just take what you want from here and leave the rest................

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