After 4 months of seperation my husband is calling me back home.
A little background of my earlier posts (My DH physically abused me in front of his mother for a very silly reason)
Now he has come saying that this would not get repeated again i would never raise my hand on you.
The way he has approached was, he had come to my office last week and since i had already left for the day he has talked to my colleague, where in she says that by his words and expressions he meant that he wants his wife and kids back.
The next day he had again come and my colleague convinced me to talk to him we both sat and wanted to discuss things out but by his conversation with me what i felt was:
1) he wants me back bcos his mother is not with him now she has gone to her daughters house so no one is there to cook food for him
2) he still blames me for that incident and says that i should not go to my parents house often
3) he is not willing to come and pick me from my mother's house he says i cant face her and neither he wants his parents or anybody to come and discuss but just we both patch up
I still cannot forget the way he has beaten me up the other day and i dont have the confidence that he has changed so that i can live with him happily. may be for first five or six months he would be alright but then again his original character would be out i feel. i still cant imagine to have any more insults, heartbreaks as he has been doing this since our marriage.
Please suggest me what do i do. ????
Do i go back to him or do i get something done leagally and go back. As of now i am concerned about my children's school fees and so on.
he has some trouble going with his job as well as they have changed his division ( which was becos he spoke nasty to his superior, immediate boss so he has approached the higher authorities and has got my husband's division changed.) he does not say me that he had used filthy language to him but says that bcos of our family issue and i happend to call his office and complain itseems tats the reason his promotion has been cancelled and his division has changed.
yesterday evening he started saying that if i want my family life to be good with him i should quit my job, stay back home and look after kids and do all house hold chores itseems. otherwise if i strongly want to do job thn i should give him complete financial support as he has loans with his brother (Rs.5 Lakhs) to be cleared, which he had borrowed for our house construction (Land given by my mother). He is so strongly trying to put boundaries around me saying:
1) I quit my job and stay back home looking after kids, getting their homeworks done and making them study and doing house hold work and cooking for him.
I told him i am already doing all that inspite of going to work, so i am doing a super women's job.
2) If i will have to do job, then i support him financially and still not ask him any help in any of the house hold things or with kids matter. If i keep a maid i pay for her itseems
3) i should not be going to my parents house on daily basis(my mom's house is just the next lane) whereas whenever he feels like he can get his mother stay with us however long he wants. or else he can go and visit her and claims that he would not go to waste time but would get some benefit or will have some work of his own itseems.
4) Permission will be given to visit my parents(who stay in next lane) once in a week provided if he also goes to visit his mother otherwise i should also drop the plan of visiting my parents and stay back with him at home.
5) He will pay the fee for the elder son itseems and i should bear the fees and other expenses of my younger son. ( He is dividing the responsibility but not when it comes to things like dressing them up for school, teaching them, all that has to be done only by me even after sharing his financial burden itseems)
Please tell me do i have to agree to all his above conditions if I want my kids and my self to enjoy the family life in my own house. ????
But these were not the conditions when he came and approached me in my office last week and discussed about patching up. He had been to visit his mother and sister last week end and the after effects of their meetings and discussions is so much change in his talks, and actions.
Giving a Divorce is like i would be freeing him from any responsibilities and giving him a chance to get him married and enjoy his life. But then holding on is also tough becos how long like tis????