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Rahul (officer)     13 August 2012

Mentally tortured by wife



Dear Sirs, 

I thank you in advance for your valuable and unbiassed advices. I am putting for the my situation in a hope to get help so that I can save my daughter’s life and my overall family…

I got married in 2010 and my wife's behavior was sometimes very loving and sometimes very egoist from start of marriage. On the very next day of marriage( wedding night)  she called her friend and started crying and “told him not to cry” “everything will be alright”. Before marriage her behavior was very soft and respectful. But after marriage her behavior started changing and she started becoming dominating and argumentative.  She had been very loving at certain times but when she got angry she became verbally abusive about me and my parents. Also she used to taunt me on daily basis by saying that she had better options who were more handsome and financially more sound than me. Since she is a govt employee and myself working in pvt sector at managerial level, she always taunted me directly/indirectly that i am not a match for her. During honeymoon also she was in constant touch with her male friends. Her behaviour with my parents also was not friendly. Whatever suggestions they gave her she used to reply back bluntly in an insulting tone. Later she got pregnant and we somehow managed to get a govt accommodation near her office so that she could be comfortable. She insisted on not taking any leave during pregnancy. During her pregnancy I did maximum which I could do as per my capabilities… but she used to taunt me on different topics daily..since her brother also stayed in noida within 5 kms reach..many times after arguments she used to leave house and went to his brothers house for 2-3 days…many times she used to call me and tell that she is leaving this govt job and will try for a HR post in MNC…she used to taunt me even before her brothers and parents on tiny issues like car parking, food, tea,  etc. many times I approached her brothers, mama, father etc requesting them to kindly help me create harmony in my married life. But they asked me to forget my parents if I want to live with my wife.  In 2011 God blessed us with baby daughter..Since I loved my daughter, I agreed to stay with my wife in her govt accommodation..where my mother in law used to come and stay and I was treated badly on daily basis. I somehow tolerated all this because I used to leave early morning and came by 8.30 pm. So for sake of spending time with my lovely daughter I tolerated my wife’s abusive behavior for about 1 year. She even kicked me out of her house on 4-5 occassions stating that it is her house and I have no right to stay if I argued with her. As she never bothered about my breakfast or dinner, 80% of the time I took my breakfast in roadside stalls lunch in office and dinner at various restaurants in noida with just a hope to be able to sleep alongside my daughter peacefully. Gradually her mothers intereference started increasing in my married life. Daily either my MIL stayed in the house or she was giving 7-8 calls per day asking every minute details and  I once heard on speaker phone  that my MIL was guiding her to dominate me using various tactics. My wife asked to fulfill the conditions like- paying her 30k/month, doing household works, never arguing with her, to wash clothes every Sunday and to break all relations with my 70 year parents. I am the only son to my parents while my wife has two settled brothers with 4 children in total. My wife and myself earn almost equal.

Despite my innumerable requests my wife never bothers about me or my love for my child and my love for herself. Every time her demands keep on changing.  My wife never picks my call never replies to my emails in which I request for allowing me to meet my daughter and I also beg her for sorry and that I will try to fulfill her demands and conditions. But she is simply ignoring me and asking for separation and divorce.

I am worried about my daughter’s future. My wife calls me psycho and ill-treats me. I love my daughter and don’t want to loose my daughter. My in laws never talk with me, never pay heed to what I say, they simply misguide their daughter to teach me lessons to keep me under her control. I am suffering lot of mental torture.

But about a month ago, she asked me to leave her house and threatened me to call police if I dared to come near her house. I tried taling to her father mother and brothers but no one talks to me and they never pick my calls. They all are mentally torturing me by not speaking to me and not allowing me to meet my baby daughter. I have tried lots of patience but of late I am feeling very depressed and lonely and feel like committing suicide. I begging call her on janmashtmi to meet my ladoo gopal but she instead partied with her friends and brothers but completely ignored me.

In short earlier she was asking me to live like a slave otherwise she emotionally blackmailed by separating me from my daughter. Now I request her that I am ready to live like a slave as per her wishes but still she and her family is emotionally torturing me by not allowing me to meet my daughter. Day and night I worry for my daughter as she was born in front of my eyes in operation theater and I have beautiful memories of her innocent face.

Please help me get my daughter… I will be grateful to you all my life…I don’t want to separate my daughter from her mother.  Want my daughter to have love from both mother and father. I know my 1.5 years old daughter is also suffering for me but she does not know to speak hence she is as helpless as I am.

I hope humanity still prevails in this world.


 11 Replies

Rajan Bhasin (Law Student)     13 August 2012

She is using kid as emotional tool to settle her ego! you can file for visitation rights if she is not letting you meet with the baby.

But you need to make this decesion very carefully as any step from your side first will envoke 498a and other biased laws surely.

Adv.R.P.Chugh (Advocate/Legal Consultant (     13 August 2012

1. WIth an estranged wife such as yours, my friend you are sitting duck for false prosecution in false dowry cases. 

2. Don't let your wife use your daughter as a pawn to get her extortionate demands met. You'd have to put your foot down one day or the other - at the same time understanding the risks and consequences implicit. 

3. Since you are not in a position to take a call right now on whether this marriage is going to work or not, wait and watch how things shape up, but at the same time you can take certain pre-emptive steps to reasonably protect you and your family from a false dowry case. 

4. Read this article :

1 Like

Rama chary Rachakonda (Secunderabad/Telangana state Highcourt practice watsapp no.9989324294 )     13 August 2012


 Mental harassment caused by wife is sufficient cause for a husband to seek a decree of divorce, the Supreme Court has held.

"Physical violence is not absolutely essential to constitute cruelty and a consistent course of conduct inflicting immeasurable mental agony and torture may well constitute cruelty within the meaning of Section 10 of the Act," a Bench of Justices Arijit Pasayat and Dalveer Bhandari said.

Rahul (officer)     14 August 2012

ragz hyder (PM)     18 August 2012

I am no lawyer but like a case I am sure you can start collecting evidence. Keep an mp3 recorder with you. Make notes.

Find some smartphone where u can record calls. Talk to her in phone and make her say all the nasty things. Is it possible for you to keep a camera in your apt? som camcorder where she cannot find out....remember the teddy bear cameras we see on movies...see if you can find any...there are pen cameras if you can find them...

make her threaten you. see if you can tap your own phone and record conversations she has with her mother. talk to a private detective and a lawyer.

The lawyers in this forum can perhaps enlighten you as to what forms of evidence are admissible in a court of law.

Anind (Manager)     18 August 2012

Dear ,

Do not get emotional for your daughter ,you need to be more powerfull from inside and wait till your grows up and start understanding your love.

Iam giving you this advice bcus iam also facing similar condition almost 80% similar.Iam also father of 6 yr old girl , and my wife do not allow her to interact with me for long ,so ialso accept the destiniy and waiting for right time .

So cheers and live life...


Isabel Morison   31 July 2018

thanks for this

Isabel Morison   31 July 2018

thanks you

Isabel Morison   31 July 2018

thank you for this post

Isabel Morison   31 July 2018

Good hai ye

Rishi Patel (Advocate)     31 July 2018

Firstly collect evidence that support you to prove harrasement and then file custody case for your daughter under GWA. In your petition you should appoint court as Farnaspatri of child till the case is decided by court. GWA is the only act under which you can ask custody of child.

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