Hello, my name is Manoj and I am from Chennai. I got married in 2001 and right after the first year, I have been facing severe issues and harships because of which I am unable to continue living together with my wife. Currently, we are separated for nearly 8 months and I am in the midst of initiating a divorce petition. I have been giving her money every month for her and the child, also been paying her school fees as well.
These are the issues I have been facing:
- Mental harassment and verbal abuse
- Severe mental agony
- Abnormal behavior, suicidal threats, and tendencies
- Extreme mood swings
- Lack of trust and confidence
- Daughter is harassed mentally and physically
- Filthy language and vengeance attitude
- Emotional blackmails
- Violent at most times
The following are some of her ways of threatening:
- Get into a room and say she is going to hang herself
- Go into the kitchen, have the gas on and say she was going to blow us up
- Have the kid on top of the well and threaten she was going to drop the kid in
- Consume tablets and say she was going to commit suicide
- Lodge a false case against me and parents for dowry
- Get away from the house in the night around midnight and return back late
When my daughter was born, she developed having skin rashes (known as eczema). As a mother, she took care of the child really well, but she also did what a mother wouldn't do...attempted to suffocate the child by closing her nose and mouth. Luckily I was awake and pushed her away when I noticed her legs were beating.
This somehow gave me the indication that she might be affected with some serious mental illness. To confirm, we sought the help of a psychological counselor, marital therapist. Through the counseling sessions, she indicated that she has a type of personality, which is called "Borderline Personality Disorder." The counselor, has infact, accepted to provide me with a report as well.
After having known this, her approach towards the child has also changed. She started harassing her more and would theaten her in all ways possible. She, right now, uses the child as a pawn since she knows I am very attached and close to my daughter (as any father will be!) She says to the child that she has tried to kill her, threaten her by saying if she goes to dad, she would kill her and also told me if she ever gets the slightest feeling of me taking away the daughter from her, she would kill the child and also kill herself.
I had also consulted a psychatrist regarding this and he informs me that it would be better for both of us to get separated and have me ask for the custody of the child.
Although, I have lived with this torture for many years and after going through innumerous difficulties with her, I have initiated a divorce petition. Can the experts here shed light on these questions?
- Since mental harassment and cruelty is on rise, what is the success level or percentage that I might get a divorce?
- What are the chances of me getting the custody of the child?
- Once the divorce petition reaches her, can she get inside my home and refuse to go out?
- Once the divorce petition reaches her, I am sure to get problems from her and her family members. How can I safeguard myself, my parents and daughter?
- If the illness is proved, how long will the court take to pass the judgement?
Thanks in advance!