Arun 19 October 2016

Mental cruelty by wife

Dear Experts,

I need your advice on the following:

Already there is a rift between husband and wife. Wife is very abusive. Husband bears all this for the sake of his 5-year old son. But his wife and her parents are torturing the husband in many ways. Husband has already left his ailing mother alone due to wife's pressure. Still, she continues to torture him mentally.

Among many incidents, the recent incident is that:

Husband stayed at his mother's house overnight to look after his ailing mother. He informed his wife about his stay. Husband is currently pursuing a full time career enhancement programme. Next day when he was returning from the class, he got a call from his distant relative stating that he (husband) was missing for 4 days and she would file a missing complaint in the police station, if he did not return home. He was shocked to hear this. Apart from this, she had also complained to many others. But, she never made a call to her husband.

Moreover, without the knowledge of her husband, wife took the phone numbers of his class friends (who are not even known to her) and sent SMS stating that "husband is not coming to home for the past 4 days. His son is crying and asking about his father. So please inform to him".

Whereas, husband was there in the home during the day time. Even one of his friends picked him up from his house the day before. But she complains that husband did not come home for 4 days.

Is this kind of act by the wife in maligning his reputation in an institution considered cruelty?

please clarify

thanks

Arun

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11 Replies

(Guest)

Where did u find this nautanki brand? I bet life is never boring with such females! Jokes apart. All that you've explained amounts to mental cruelty. Her behaviour towards you is unreasonable. But question is whether court will see this as a ground for granting divorce? Chances are equal to zero. This is normal wear n tear of married life. Court will send you both for counselling sessions. 3-4 depending on how adamant either of u are. 5 year old son and you are unable to cope with marital stress. I suggest you stay put. And continue with this sort of headache for sake of kid. If you made up your mind to part ways go MCD. Leave kid with mother. Take visitation order. Remarriage could be an option. Going for contested divorce is waste. Any further issues, take my number n call.

(Guest)

Talking helps. But depends on how u talk. See if things change, for the good or the bad.

Ms.Usha Kapoor (CEO) 19 October 2016

As described by you all her behaviousr till date shows nothing but mental cruelty and torture she has been practising on you. File a case of mental cruelty against your wife and get rid of her or if she agreees for MCD both of you go for it. Later on you can go for child custody and guardinaship of your 5 year old son in accordance with Guardianship and wards Act read with Hindu Minoity and Guardianship Act.From your parents house you can file RCR against your wife and if she refuses to join you you can apply for divorce.If you appreciate this answer please click the thnak you button on this forum.

dr g balakrishnan (advocate/counsel supreme court) 19 October 2016

I do not trust the story as this is told by not the husband is obvious.somebody is playing, i don't think worth responding, tks

Arun 19 October 2016

Thanks gyan Prakash, Ms. Usha kapoor for your replies. I am afraid to ask her about divorce. Actually she is expecting me to utter that divorce word to file cases against me and settle down in her parents home and extract money from me. I am sure she will not agree for divorce as she knows that DV case will provide more benefits than a MCD. MOre over, I am in the final stage of my course and do not want to run between police station and court. My question is whether these acts by wife will stand as mental cruelty if husband resides in the same house and later files for divorce, say after six months. There is no other relationship between us apart from being parents to our son. Thanks in advance Arun

A walk alone (-) 19 October 2016

This is normal wear n tear of married life. She might feel insecure when you go to your mother . She might do all this because of insecurity. Her behavior is childish. As you say "But, she never made a call to her husbands" because she might thought if she call you, you will become angry. Try to solve this problem by mutual understanding in four walls. As when you go to your mother just call or message her , so that she might not behave like this. Dnt think for divorce after child. Your child will suffer life long because of this divorce. You both can remarry what about child? Have you ever think about your child future after divorce? Child needs both parents. Do you ever meet child whose parent divorcee ? If you meet I am sure you will not think divorce. After children being father you first responsibility is your child. At last if you made up mind for divorce go MCD you both have to live separate for one year before filing. If you file contested divorce chances of win is less(as you have child, court will try reconcile for child future).

Arun 23 October 2016

Thanks walk for your advice. I have recordings of her using derogatory words and talking ill of my mother. For the sake of my son, i want to wait and see if she mends her way. In case if she does it again, and if I fail to record , can I use the previous recordings against her after sometime , say 6 months? Will the previous recordings be cconsidered in the court or will it reject stating that I had resided with my wife after experiencing mental cruelty?

Arun 23 October 2016

Thanks walk for your advice. I have recordings of her using derogatory words and talking ill of my mother. For the sake of my son, i want to wait and see if she mends her way. In case if she does it again, and if I fail to record , can I use the previous recordings against her after sometime , say 6 months? Will the previous recordings be cconsidered in the court or will it be reject stating that I had resided with my wife after experiencing mental cruelty?

(Guest)

Once you condone her acts, she will take you for granted. Though a kid is born out of wedlock, you need to prioritise your needs and the kids needs. If nothing works out take mutual divorce which is helpful to everyone involved instead of dragging on a dead relationship. If you feel counselling is needed, I may be of help to your wife. Good luck.

Nitish Banka (lawyer) 25 April 2018

Cruelty for the purpose of Divorce

Posted by: Nitish Banka Categories: Uncategorized

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Getting Divorce on Cruelty

The degree of proof needed to prove cruelty and getting divorce on grounds of it is far less than in the cases of 498a, because in divorce cases preponderance of evidence is more important than proving cruelty than proving it beyond reasonable doubt.

In recent judgement

Parveen Mehta vs Inderjit Mehta on 11 July, 2002 it was held

Cruelty for the purpose of Section 13(1)(ia) is to be taken as a behavior by one spouse towards the other which causes reasonable apprehension in the mind of the latter that it is not safe for him or her to continue the matrimonial relationship with the other. Mental cruelty is a state of mind and feeling with one of the spouses due to the behavior or behavioral pattern by the other. Unlike the case of physical cruelty the mental cruelty is difficult to establish by direct evidence. It is necessarily a matter of inference to be drawn from the facts and circumstances of the case. A feeling of anguish, disappointment and frustration in one spouse caused by the conduct of the other can only be appreciated on assessing the attending facts and circumstances in which the two partners of matrimonial life have been living. The inference has to be drawn from the attending facts and circumstances taken cumulatively. In case of mental cruelty it will not be a correct approach to take an instance of misbehavior in isolation and then pose the question whether such behaviour is sufficient by itself to cause mental cruelty. The approach should be to take the cumulative effect of the facts and circumstances emerging from the evidence on record and then draw a fair inference whether the petitioner in the divorce petition has been subjected to mental trauma due to conduct of the other.

cruelty

The major thing is that there is a breakdown of marriage because of the conduct and its not possible for husband and wife to live together, there should be a continuous atrocities and it should be apart from the normal wear and tear of marriage.

In Gurbux Singh vs Harminder Kaur on 8 October, 2010

The married life should be assessed as a whole and a few isolated instances over certain period will not amount to cruelty. The ill-conduct must be precedent for a fairly lengthy period where the relationship has deteriorated to an extent that because of the acts and behavior of a spouse, one party finds it extremely difficult to live with the other party no longer may amount to mental cruelty.

Making certain statements on the spur of the moment and expressing certain displeasure about the behavior of elders may not be characterized as cruelty. Mere trivial irritations, quarrels, normal wear and tear of married life which happens in day to day life in all families would not be adequate for grant of divorce on this ground.

Sustained unjustifiable and reprehensible conduct affecting physical and mental health of the other spouse may lead to mental cruelty.

Therefore for getting divorce on the ground on this ground, whole marriage is to be assessed by the court, remember that the policy of the court is on reconciliation, one or two incidence does not suffice the grounds of cruelty.

By: Nitish Banka

B.E LLB HONS

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