I got married 8 months ago, there were lot of difference of opinions since starting.
My parents are simple and does not speaks much but my wife is very outspoken, and never respects them.
She is short tempered and sometimes used to throw things in house and demean everyone by doing some kind of actions. I tried speaking to her parents about these things , they even came to our house and after discussions, it was fine only for few days.
Whenever we had small fight over petty issues, she calls my MIL and starts crying. Her parents listen to her and always allege me without even listening to complete story. I have also observed that MIL forces her to tell everything happening inside our house by emotional blackmailing - like I will die if you dont tell me the details etc.I have tried to make her understand that we both should keep our parents out of this, she tells me she wont but her parents know everything.
One month back there was a small fight among us and she called up her parents,they came and insulted us, asked her to pack bags, and took her in a hurry. They told us that we will let you if she wants to come or not. Through a common friend I came to know that her family is encouraging her to look for alternate accomodation near her place of work. She is also bad mouthing our family and lying that we have forced her out of house.Once, she hurt herself and threaten for suicide and when we tried to call her parents, they never came. So, we took her to hospital and she told her uncle it was her mistake due to anger. But later on, her parents blamed me that I had hurt her.
From past 3 months I have been trying to call her parents to sort any differences, even asked her for marraige counsellor but she says i am not mad. We have not taken single penny as dowry. We also have maid/cook to support her since she is working and my mom also helps doing most of the work.
Her parents always tell me that I have done nothing for her. I know what I have done for her - I always took care of her like children since she is suffering from hypertension and other problems, always bought her things she wanted going beyond what my pocket allows, help her in household chores etc. but they have always complained no matter what I do. There seems to be ego, status issues and they want to dominate us.
My MIL is of controlling nature and she tries to persuade her for same. I have observed that MIL feels happy if I ask her for something (like asking her for help in terms of money etc, but I dont do this since I prefer not taking anything from them). Also, she gets jealous if I buy her anything expensive as if she could not believe that I was able to buy her. This is hard to explain.
Many times I tried to make my wife understand that we have different life and we should focus on growing together with each other but all waste.
Its been over 2 months since she has left the house, and no communication from their end, please let me know how should i proceed.