Marriage-husband not allowing me to live together

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@Hema, I am agreed with the expert Tajobsindia, as I have also suggested the same through PM. Give some pause and live your life happily instead of roaming around the halls of courts. In the meanwhile, if you really think for divorce, then, try to construe him for Mutual Consent.

@hema

You talk to advocate archana. See if she can help you in any way. I personally feel you and your husband should go to counseling with a right counselor like archana.

@ Author 

The fact that you are software Engineer it seems that your software and flow chart is unable to sort out your issues . Maybe your husband is a merchandiser but it is equally important to give him his respect . The fact that you have mentioned that your are earning double the amount he earns it seems that you want him to lick his feet . Please try to understand that you cannot buy a person with your money . 

Rather that going to the police station you should have tried out the below option since once the matter goes to the police station or the court the marriage is as good as over  and dead . And the outcome of this is Divorce or MCD or maybe the mud slingling starts DVC .

As you say you are earning very very well than why couldnt you convience him that you or maybe the two of you could take a seperate place a bit far away and stay happily away from your in laws and sister in laws without any interference . And once in a way you could visityour inlaws . Secondly dont expect him to forget his family its them who have brought him up from child hood .

Familarity breeds contempt so beeter to keep safe distance and remain happy .

Hi Dear Stanley,

Please restrain from being so hurt by the fact that Im a software engineer or i earn double his income.It was only a informative reply to one of the responders,who wanted that piece of information to suggest about maintainence and others.and its the fact.Please go through other threads i have replied,to find out how i mentioned about my situation and helplessness.

I dont understand why you man will get sensitive with details of womens profession and income.

I know very well ,love cant be bought with money.For me money is only a material.But my husband's love can be bought with money,when i gave him my salary he was too nice to me till my next salary....Only i know about our relationship,pls dont generalise it.

I was even ready to quit the job,if he dint liked me working .But having finished my education before the marriage cannot be my fault or withdrawable.I have never hurt my husband consiously or unconsiously with my professional details

.And one more thing,I never will ask him to separate from his mother,as it would be not kind enough to do so,even if i earn a lot!!! its his and his mothers comfortability with me and them.I dont think about separating anybody from their family.Because as a girl,we know how it makes us feel to get separated from mothers home and adjust to matrimonial home.If he likes i will help him financialy to find a house.

Please be kind enough when replying

Please everybody here suggest?what when a girl encounters threatning and horryfying situations at matrimonial home like me,have nobodys help and no option left,will seek law and orders help ,but end up recieving advices from people like i  should not have gone to police station, becuase that ends the relationship.Why cant we see police station as another option to help prevent the cruelity?why is that stigma attached to police station?Is trying it a worst option than dieng out of suffocation?or when the situation goes out of control,instead of sending his relatives right message to stop bullying,only divorce is inevitable?

Suffer as they treat without resisting or take divorce and walk out are the only options to consider?

when negotiations and all other means are exhausted,what was the final option that was left.

Thanks stanley,

I have given my husband all my salary I had with me.But his concern was with the money my mother had in her bank.Becuase he runs a business of finance,giving credits and making profit with 5 % interest everymonth.I refused to bring from my mothers account.And he wanted car and bike that my father owned.I dint encourage him

My mother in law quarreled with me,for attending an interview without her knowledge.This time that was the reason for blowup.

I dont want to glorify about myself,nor i consider myself to be entitled for maintainence.I dont expect any money from them,because unlike them i have not married for money.But i feel sorry for my dad's hard earned money that was spent for the luxury they expected in the marriage

HI Hema, as simple as that u dont want to lead a abusive life, money minded and cruel people then just file for divorce on those grounds. What r u waiting for? I would only say about that article its so stupid predicting a persons behaviour. Seeing your replies that article applies to you as well.

And it is v clear that you not able to maintain a work-life balance.Most of the software employees ignoring this important thing. But result of it u have choosen to available options like laws which are only gender biased in india. If they are not gender biased , ur husband can also take provision of the law for not preparing food, not making poojas or not looking after him etc , etc or etc.

(may be your company doesnt follow it work life balance.......BIG Drawback for Software companies in India.Hope fully in future Indian Companies would realize this in chase of dollars they making  threat to Indian Families.Communal harmony should be compulsory for all the Indian companies.In return it will destroy the economic growth and prosperity in society.VIA effecting marital relationships).

Hema u r self dependent, u been abused and ur life is in jeopardy . Ur replies says u r not able to live with him anymore. Just go for divorce. You cant just force him to make decisions in hurry. He is not stopping ur liberty to make decisions so u shudnt as well. Its unethical. U suffered a lot u say so just come out of it. U have every choice to make ur life happier now right.

U r rightly advised by Tajobs

u r right advised by the expert    Tajobsindia............

Well said Stanley.

@Hema

You think going to police station is just a stigma, nothing much to worry about....hahaha!!! But someone bullying you is a bigger atyachar!!Lol..One way you call your husband a criminal, he shld be punished and the other way you say you are afraid of the society so you want your husband...what non-sense!! you are confused. 

Tajobs have already answered all your concerns, you would have opted a civil route prior to going to police station. You can't have the cake and eat it too!!!

You are proving to be a self-centered and narcissistic woman.

I had a wife like you. She filed divorce, DV, police complaints against me, my family, etc.

Now that was seven years back. Today... I got divorce. None of the cases stood in any court. She exhausted all appeals. So far no maintenance, nothing. She hired an army of advocates. I had only myself and my reading of the law. I showed that all her allegations were made up.. All bizzare allegations with no proof.  

I despise women like you who file police complaints against their husband and inlaws for what is essentially normal wear-and-tear in a relationship. I am sure that you will find many sympathisers on this site with your sweet talk about how you are a victim but my frank opinion about you: You deserve to rot in hell because you have no idea what impact police involvement has on the husband's family. A good wife should make efforts in a civil and peaceful manner. Thats where your culture and education shows up, not degrees.

Seems like Discussion itself is going out of order. Actually Hema is rightly advised by Tajobsindia. She says she suffered abusive behavior. It is always upto her whatever she can, to fight back.

I dont understand why she is trying to glorify herself. It is not acceptable not anywhere not only here. We can see the odd reactions coming from other members. Getting little tense. 

Want to make quick decisions,expecting quick results and expecting to act husband as soon as possible....Ur intentions r not healthy.

Provoking nature is the Best abusive tactic. It is v clear that u r using it. Sure Hema must read this article too https://melodyallen22.hubpages.com/hub/Women-That-Provoke-Men-To-Abuse-Them .

Well said Sami N. 100% agreed.

I think that women has lost her respect  in everyway.

She doesnt have to be on this site.

Ats her best insulting other members making them do the best. 

ADMIN should take action against her.