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Pavan Sandur (Management Professional)     11 November 2013

Maintenance to 498(a) wife

Learned Members,

After my wife left me high and dry, I applied for RCR and then had 498(a) against me.

498(a) was hoisted against me after 1 year of me applying for RCR.

Feb2013 498(a) went in my favor and was acquitted.

June 2013 RCR went in my favor. Wife was asked to return to matrimonial home by mid-September 2013, which she has conveniently ignored.

I do realize the effectiveness of a RCR order, however what grounds do I have to deny her any maintenance both under sec 125 and under civil law.

How do I prepare to fight against this extortion? ( I refused to bow down to 40 lakhs+ property settlement during 498(a)).

I have a son out of this marriage. I know I am duty bound to maintain him and give a share of the property as per law and I have made necessary arrangements through a will.

However I do not propose to give my wife anything for free from my/my family’s hard earned money/property.

I use the word FREE because the day she asked for monetary settlement any claims of legitimacy, in terms of the marriage being anything other than a business deal for her and her family, went out the window.

I am willing to fight this tooth and nail.

Though this may sound dumb, I still believe for the sake of my only son, I am ready to accept her back and provide for her. ( known devil and unknown angel et al.,)

Please advise.



Learning

 20 Replies


(Guest)

First and foremost congratulations on getting acquitted from 498a !

Originally posted by : FVUACNKI
Learned Members,


After my wife left me high and dry, I applied for RCR and then had 498(a) against me.


498(a) was hoisted against me after 1 year of me applying for RCR.


Feb2013 498(a) went in my favor and was acquitted.


June 2013 RCR went in my favor. Wife was asked to return to matrimonial home by mid-September 2013, which she has conveniently ignored.


I do realize the effectiveness of a RCR order, however what grounds do I have to deny her any maintenance both under sec 125 and under civil law.


How do I prepare to fight against this extortion? ( I refused to bow down to 40 lakhs+ property settlement during 498(a)).


I have a son out of this marriage. I know I am duty bound to maintain him and give a share of the property as per law and I have made necessary arrangements through a will.


However I do not propose to give my wife anything for free from my/my family’s hard earned money/property.

I use the word FREE because the day she asked for monetary settlement any claims of legitimacy, in terms of the marriage being anything other than a business deal for her and her family, went out the window.


I am willing to fight this tooth and nail.

Though this may sound dumb, I still believe for the sake of my only son, I am ready to accept her back and provide for her. ( known devil and unknown angel et al.,)

Please advise.


Now that your wife has chosen not to come back, she is not entitled to get maintenance. Your sole argument should be on these grounds, it is she who left you and is unwilling to come back hence I wont pay her a penny, if she wants let her come back.


Along with this, you file a perjury case against your wife for lying under oath in court of law and for filing false case on your of 498a.

File a defemation case on her too.



Let the son be with you, let her file custody case, but dont bow down.  Share in property matter does not arise at all, you can give your son a share in your property when he grows up, but you should be ready to take care of the kid at all times, if you let go the kid, then you will have to pay a share in property as your wife is money minded.


My advice would be dont ever accept her back even for the sake of your kid, kid you can take care all by yourself, women do, why cant men?


Even you accept her back for sake of kid, there wont be any flavour left to the marriage in toto.


Think and move ahead.

house wife... (na)     11 November 2013

helping hand sir plz guied them not misguied him ..agar kissi ka ghar basta hai to basne doo...ap kyu aesi salah de rahe ho? child need both of the parents to grow up correctly otherwise he will be a tottaly confused personality..men bache pal to lenge.bt emotional support unhe maa hi de sakti hai.or

FVUACKI sir plz bache ko uski maa se alag na karna.....

1 Like

fighting for my brother (HR)     11 November 2013

i think hephing hand is right.. if your was really concern about the kid she should't be asking for such huge settlement amount..

greedy lady are using these tactic.. fight for ur right..

somesh (na)     11 November 2013

in my view helping hand has given a full proof suggestion

if the kid is under mothers custody she would use her as ATM machine to suck his hard earned money/property

STUDENT.... (.......)     11 November 2013

You will find reply on the below link, pls go through it.. it is useful for u..

 

https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/Husband-is-entiled-to-get-alimony-91515.asp#.UoDBWPkmCSo

 

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Advocate)     11 November 2013

Helpin hand has given a right type of advice.  Many problems will be solved if the approach as advised is on the right path.  As somebody told the greedy people need to be taught lesson, however in my opinion if as human, she is given a chance to amend/correct herself and starts living a fresh life realising all her mistakes, she may be pardoned for the sake of the kid and its future, think until you decide.

Pavan Kumar Sandur (others)     12 November 2013

Dear Learned Members,

Thank you for the responses.

First and foremost, there are both emotional and practical dimensions to any decision.

Difficulty is to decide which one to choose or is applicable at any given time.

My decision to accept her back is purely based on the facts that:

1) It would be counter-productive to separate the child from the mother.(She has had 4 years to brain wash him)

2) Both parents are (most of all a mother's presence is) required for the wholesome growth of the child. (he is 11 years old)

“Nobody” thanks for the advice.

“Helping Hand” I was proposing to take that stand, thanks for confirming my gut feel…however my lawyer for some reason is against taking that stand, he believes it will be difficult to convince any judge and it’s an established norm that the maintenance will go the wife’s way whatever be the argument and her mistakes….I do not believe our judiciary is so blind….we still do have honest men amongst us who can call a spade a spade.

Along with my lawyer preparing for the case I want to prepare myself with options.

I want to know to what extant I can go, when to push, essentially fix a bottom-line.

Any help in this regard would be much appreciated.

Deeply Hurt (PM)     12 November 2013

"My decision to accept her back is purely based on the facts that" From your reply it's obvious that even though she has filed false cases against you, you are ready to accept her back because 1. You still love her as you believe she has done such acts only since she was brain washed by her parents or relatives or advocate 2. You want the best for your son. If this is the case & you are absolutely certain that she would not resort to her old ways of taunting you, proceed to take her back after getting a memorandum of understanding signed. If that's not the case, you are setting yourself up for further trouble which might be hard to come out again. Here Helping Hands advice would come in handy. So choose your path carefully.

Please Help Me (ITA)     12 November 2013

helping hand has given correct advice .. never bring back 498a girl

Adv Aneesh Trivedi 9424449500 (Advocate)     12 November 2013

Helping hand is rightly advised, there is no flavor left in matrimonial life, once she filed 498A , if in furture again on small dispute if she filed again then no one is there to save this man, and and dispute are just like salt in marriage life , so wife should keep more patience , once the matter goes to court police and advocate then there is nothing left or simply saying bedroom stories not become public , and wife husband are now hero heroine of B grade movie ,

so it is better to change , the channel of life...other wise the situation become more worset

if boy need mom then man can marry other /.....same is true for woman but our society is not so libral in in 100000 one woman has great luck to get nice gentlman

any way this is other part but here helping man is rightly advised. in my view

secondly agar ghar basana  tha to 498A ki aag hi  kyoun lagai kyonki ye astra sirf mahilaon ke paas hi hai, husband to divorce bhi laga sakta tha par usne RCR hi lagaya, wo toh pehle bhi ghar basana chahta tha ab bhi chahta par ab doono parallel chal sakte hai par mil nahi sakte....like railway track....

house wife... (na)     13 November 2013

its my earnest request to the author of thread to decide what is right.bt should try once more to start a new life with same lady for sake of kid and for himself..he should also think if his second merriage work well or it become worse for him.so plz try it once ..take her back...sab buri yadain bhula k new life or apne future k bare main socho

@other members apni frustration ap apne tak hi simit rakho apne ne to apna adament behaviour chodna nahi dusron ko to achi life jeene do...or plz kisi ki zindagi sudhar jane do....

jack (boss)     13 November 2013

rightly suggested by helping hand. never ever bring 498a wife back to your home again. your life will become a living hell. very dangerous to accept such lady who already filed 498a on you. Thank God that she is staying away from you. otherwise you and your family might in sitting in jail for her voilent acts.  Be strong and dont be emotional fool. She might be enjoying with someone else in her parental house and you are becoming emotional fool over here. as far as child is concerned, if he is staying with your wife then she might already had done brain wash of him and he is not going to have any regard and love for you. Move on buddy.... Go and ask the ppl who have already been suffered by these bl**dy sh*t 498a wives.

NEVER EVER ACCEPT HER BACK AND FILE DIVORCE ON THE BASIS OF CRUELTY.. THESE KINDA LADIES NEED TO LEARN A LESSON AND BETTER TEACH THEM A LESSON AND BE A ROLE MODEL FOR THIS SO THAT OTHER SUFFERERS GETS THE WILL POWER TO FIGHT AGAINST THESE TYPES OF GREEDY LADIES...

Adv Aneesh Trivedi 9424449500 (Advocate)     13 November 2013

Originally posted by : nobody

its my earnest request to the author of thread to decide what is right.bt should try once more to start a new life with same lady for sake of kid and for himself..he should also think if his second merriage work well or it become worse for him.so plz try it once ..take her back...sab buri yadain bhula k new life or apne future k bare main socho

@other members apni frustration ap apne tak hi simit rakho apne ne to apna adament behaviour chodna nahi dusron ko to achi life jeene do...or plz kisi ki zindagi sudhar jane do....

@ nobody

सर यहाँ कोई अपनी फ्रस्ट्रेशन नहीं निकाल रहा, हम लोग सिर्फ बता रहे है की ये ९९% केस में ऐसा ही होता है ! आपके जैसा सोच कर मै अपनी पत्नी को ले आया था पर दूसरी बार भी उसने ऐसा ही किया और दूसरी बार तो पहले से भी जादा खतरनाक खेल खेला था , मेरी २२ दिन की बच्ची को ले गयी जिसे मै उरी तरह देख भी नहीं पाया था 8 जुने११ से सिर्फ १० मिनट के लिए दो बार बच्ची से मिला वो भी काफी इन्सुल्ट होने के बाद , इसलिए सभी कह रहे है की ४९८अ वाइफ को नहीं लाना चाहिए , सब गलत नहीं हो सकते.... जब पहली बार ही बात इतनी बिगड़ गयी तो दूसरी बार क्या ख़ाक बनेगी. फिर सिर्फ बदला या मजबूरी ही रह जाता है जो बाद में समय आने पर वाइफ लेती ही है.......... इसलिए एक बार दूध से जल गए तो छाच भी फूंक फूंक कर पीनी चाहिए हमारे शास्त्रों में भी यही लिखा है.

jack (boss)     14 November 2013

@498A Fighter. @nobody is not a sir, she is a 498a mada'm and she herself filed cases on her husband now seeking advice over how to get him back after dragging her in laws in falses cases.. What kind of ladies we are dealing with over here.. First of all, these ladies files complaints against  huband and in laws, get them humilated and  then expect her husband to live with her with showering all the affection and love on her.  now she is expecting from her husband to DAAL HATHO MEIN HATH MERE SAATH GHUME and treat me like a lovely and very innocent wife.   Better teach these kind of ladies a lesson so that in future no innocent family get dragged in this legal terrorism. 


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