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AMbi (None)     19 November 2012

I have been sent a mediation divorce notice from the court.

I am a 26 year old girl married for more than an year with my marriage registered under Hindu Marriage Law.

My husband left me about 5 months back citing trivial issues and vacated our marital house taking with him all my belongings including my clothes, furniture, kitchen appliances, gifts received in marriage, precious belongings and documents. However on continued insistence my husband returned my documents but not any of my belongings.

We had an arranged marriage and all talk between our families have failed. His family is unwilling to talk to him and help us reconcile. I was recently served a mediation divorce petition from him in which he has made false and baseless allegations against me and my family. He has even alleged that we threatened to file dowry and domestic violenec case on him which is a lie. I want to know the below:

1. What exactly is mediation divorce? And how long does it take for the divorce to be granted?

2. Does this kind of a divorce have any provision for counselling/reconcilation?

3. What should be the steps that I have to take now that I have been served the notice?

4. Will I be eligible to getting any compensation from the court? We are both employed and are placed at almost same level financially and career wise? My husband has hidden some facts about the way of completion of graduation, health issues he is suffering and another broken engagement.

5. Can we claim compensation for expenditure incurred on the marriage? We spent around 15 lakhs for the marriage?

6. Can I claim back my belongings that are currently with him? He has not given us his current address.

7. What happens to the gifts we received in marriage. We gave him and his family some gold and silver and I received some jewellery too.



 9 Replies

v.sreenivas sivaram (senior civil judge CUM ADMINISTRATIVE OFFICER)     19 November 2012



To undersand what is mediation and what can be done please go through the following links

1 Like

Nandha (NIL)     19 November 2012



I'm not a lawyer, but would try to answer your queries as follows:


1) Mediation centre will try to resolve your issues depending on whether you want to continue your marriage or not. They do not grant divorce.

2) Mediation centre may help reconciliation.

3) Just attend the mediation if you want to reconcile without wasting your life in courts. There is no great harm if you dont attend the mediation. However, it is good to attend.

4) Of course, you would get compensation with the help of the gender biased laws. How much you get depends on the way you put your husband & his family into trouble. Any serious ailments are hidden by your husband and if u dont have kids, then you can try for annulment. Any other matters hidden which are considered to cause mental cruelty, you may seek divorce proving the same in the court.

5) You may claim the money  spent during your marriage, if you have all the proofs.

6) Yes, you can claim your belongings. It's your right to keep them with you.

7) Gifts given cannot be claimed back either by you or by him, unless there are proofs to show those items are given as gifts.


I would like to add that if you have decided not to live with your husband, just leave him with adequate compensation. Don't be greedy.  You are young and have a job. Married life is based on love & respect for each other. If it is lost, just move on and find someone with whom you would be comfortable & enjoy your life. After all, everyone is born in the world to enjoy & experience life. Be human and follow the mantra, 'Live & let Live'. 




1 Like

dr g balakrishnan (advocate/counsel supreme court)     19 November 2012

you need not be worried, you reply that let the matter be adjudicated by family court, then see what happens ad report to me. see there is no hard and fast rule that every mediation necessarily succeed if it fails and almost practically there can never exist that mediation need to succeed and when mediation fails it goes back to court madam do not get excessivelyworried . when the matter goes to family court the court first refers to counsellors and the counselling failure only allows the matter to get adjudicated by court.  adv.dr. g. balakrishnan, advocate (OS) Bombay high court 

1 Like

AMbi (None)     19 November 2012

Thank you Sir.

I am going through the references you provided.

AMbi (None)     19 November 2012

Thank You Nandhaji.

Me and my family have suffered at the hands of him and his family. I have taken care of almost all my and his expenses during our marriage except for house rent for 2 months. For most part of our marriage we have lived in my parents house and my husband has not contributed even a rupee and now is making cheap allegations about me and my family.

I just want my belongings and gifts back. My parents had setup the entire house along with furniture and electronic appliances, so all I want in return from him are those and other gold and silver gifted by my family. His family has always harassed me for money so I have no hope of they paying me a single paisa compensation.

On the contrary I am worried they will blackmail me for the divorce and ask money for settling the matter. Is there any way this can be avoided?


AMbi (None)     19 November 2012

Thank you Dr Bala Sir.

Although my husband is unwilling to live with me, is it possible for him to deny divorce and extort money from us?
We had not taken any legal action regarding him and his family demanding money and car from us. He in his notice has mentioned that I was demanding him for money and car from him. I have some proof for the demands they had made in the form of chat and SMS between him and his family. Can this be produced in the court to prove their harassment. Furthermore his family making demands have been abroad at the time of making them. His siblings are citizens of US and UK. Will we be even able to claim justice? I am worried that husband and his family will escape abroad and stall divorce.

rajesh (asdadad)     19 November 2012

yar ambi , if we change the roles of u n me then we will hav d same story .only dif is that in place of u , i wud b d victim n ur husband wud b my wife . .my wife is highly under d bad influence of her parents n sis . . They wanted me to b a slave of them n leave my parents , relatives 4eva. . My stupid wife gives zero value to happy married life in front of career n money and even for that she aborted our 2.5 month child. . She stayed wid me for 5.5 months out of our 1.6 year married life . I dnt knw where is my wife these days as she hvnt talked to me since past 6 months neither she replies my sms's , mails . Divorce case has been filed by my wife side and i hv a court date after 8 days . . To proove my innocense i hav 80-90 hrs of phone cal , negotiation meetings recordings , her mails , chat , fb messages , medical bills of my sucide attempt , her sonography reports , her sms's , her dad's statements recorded n my phone where he threatened me n my parents wid lives n fake cases . So many proofs yar , bt our slow legal system is totally against husband n as per family laws all husbands r wife beaters , drunkards , wife cheaters , gamblers . . Etc etc . . I luv my wife n i think she luvs me too ( i want to 4give her for aborting our 1st child ) , bt only problem is her arrogant n money minded parents n sis . . I knw tht i may sound foolish to luv a wife who has filed a divorce app against her husband . . Bt thts d way as it is . . . There is a problem of normal day 2 day wear n tear in our married life n miscommunication due to our busy professional lives betn us bt her parents set those small burnin ashes into a giant fire which has set my life on fire . . I m jst helpless yar . . Bt i hope tht u wil find a way in ur case n i cn just wish u best luck

dr g balakrishnan (advocate/counsel supreme court)     19 November 2012


Any way you can down load chat and SMS which  are accepted in the court and can be a tool for cross examination and you can make him to appear in the court for cross examination and he can be extradited if he wants to escape if he is still an indian citizen.

if not indian citizen it may be some problem and even then we can make representations to the foreign government to send him to india to face trial.

And yet  it is preferable to marry a spouse who is in fact compatible that compatibility is possible if the interactions invariably that are face to face instead of internet chats or sms but youth today spend on chats as SMS may be easy but truth is compatibility cannot be better assessed in indirect methods as life is not a robotic.

And yet we are in new age of internet  experiment today.

there we involve our lives not clearly knowing how to use the internet medium very properly but in fact we get first just locked in because it is very fast transmission that way life canot be submitted at all but  yet we submit today that is the very problem unlike past regular letter writing where we have been editing our thought lines as several times first thoughts are invarably crude and cannot be full finesee at all that cause the problems in lives of people.

Any way life is like a great glass that none can afford to break and if broken it cannot be  mended fot for attachment that way several divorses surface and the santity of marriage as an institution is dying a natural death that is the bane.

Life is not just a bed of roses with fine thornes but today it is sme kind of rash bushy thorns that terribly injure lives, besides today youth suffer from work stress enormously unlike in the past though  in the past work was not any easier but people were very patient than today though by several degrees of incompatible statements, after all words very carelessly administered that effects theraputic effect a word can provide that way married life continued several decades and life was indeed happier though take home moneys were no consequence then but today we run for inconsequential  moneys as the monies are eveything that is where lives get mangled to suh an extent smooth life becomes a casuality for ever.

Anyway we cannot control as our preferences advantages changed in a most metamorphic way today unless we control our minds that life is much more important than pelf and comforts and once realized life becomes a bliss till one lives else  we just go on experimenting for ever and many till end really miss the boat of bliss for that bliss is this life but we lost that bliss is the real fact. for ever

No laws and rules can give any meaningful life at all.

when advoate interferes your life just gets rattled for ever that is the real fact with due respects to legal profession.

My best advice is just try your best to patch up so too your spouse also need to reconsider for a meaningful bliss of married life in a most soft  way posible.

life is to be lived and by all means not to be shattered, after all there are bound to be differences betwen spouses  but that need not upset the bliss if one understands the strands of hrudya veena ( veena strings of heart) so it is not mind but just heart beats of rhythum of life that is married life is it not if you seriouy look into heart beats .

so vital is is not mind but hearty feelings o heart if spousesealize earlier the better and that cannot be appreciated by by third party however nice that third party is.. regards, adv.dr balakrishna advocate (Original side) Bombay high court 

rajesh (asdadad)     24 November 2012

gr8 suggestion sir , i wish sum1 like u suggest the same to my wife and her parents n sister . .

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