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Rahul (None)     13 November 2014

How to secure a restraining order against an aggressive woma

I had met a 32 year old woman online on a popular matrimonial website (I am 36). . We met occasionally (once in a month) for 4 months. We exchanged a few emails and sms. I found her behavior to be inconsistent so I said no. In fact, after that, due to other factors , I decided not to get married at all. Then she started abusing me in email and sms. After each round of abuse, there are apologies.   She comes over to my apartment , creates a scene and refuses to leave She has once hit my maid.. Now she  claims that she wants to live in with me. It doesn't look like she is in a proper state of mind. How do I make ensure that she does not come over to my place and attack.


 8 Replies

Born Fighter (xxx)     14 November 2014

The lady seems to be in a disturbed state of mind , Try to sit and make her understand you both are not made for each other , before she harms you or takes any inappropriate legal action against you by misusing women laws  (as she might resort to blackmailing / threatening) , its better you bring this to notice of local Police. You need to however deal with case with utmost sensitivity

Rahul (None)     14 November 2014

Thanks for the response

Given that she has already created a ruckus in the apartment, I am not sure how I can talk to her without the incident happening again. I have already indicated verbally, SMS and email that I do not wish to meet her. I have used the following words 'It is very stressful for me to continue to respond to your interactions. Please consider this as a request to not communicate with me in any form. I wish you the best in your life'.Despite this, she continues to send SMS/email and come over to the apartment. I have somehow avoided her by going to other people places so that she finds the apartment door shut.


My primary problem is what to do if she comes over to the apartment or comes over to my workplace. I explored filing an FIR but there is no offence committed as yet and assuming her hitting me will not be a cognizable offence, I don't have any recourse to justice. I cannot retaliate with physical aggression because there will be various IPC applied to protect the woman.


There are two specific scenarios


1. What to do if she again comes over to the apartment and refuse to leave? Last time I had a woman successfully persuade her to leave but it was just sheer luck that the woman was present then. So far all I know is that I will walk out of the apartment so that any interaction happens in public and I minimize the chances of her accusing me of rape or any other s*xual crime later. 

2. What to do if she hits me? So far all I know is to grin and bear it.


Please advise if there are any specific answers to these.


One has to be very careful with girls, women.  They are really dangerous.

Really touch nahi karna ladki log ko, with all laws supporting only women, one has to be very careful with women, actually one should not touch women at all.  Once you touch, its difficult to clean your hands.

If you are still entertaining her calls, you are a fool.  You really have no brains.  First change sim card and phone.  Dont give new number to anyone.  


In the given case, you go out of town, lock up the flat properly, dont give key to neighbour/friend or leave key under the mat.  Inform nearest police station in writing and go out for few months [change place of residence].


If she comes to work place, inform your bosses about this, see to it that she is not allowed inside the premises at all, give her recent photo to the security.


If she comes to hit you, dodge it.  

Thats the best way out of this headache.  Though there is no legal binding of her on you, its really a big headache which you are in now, she can do anything.  


All this is very cumbersome, but you can do nothing, you put your hand in sh!t now you have to wait till you get water to wash hands.


All the best.  

Born Fighter (xxx)     14 November 2014

1) Change of residence for at least 3 months is best thing to do, inform society secretary about the issue 

2) Ask Security of your residence (thru Society Secretary) and Office to not entertain her. Speak to your company -  HR department and inform them about the same as you should by all means protect your job and your reputation/ conduct. However if she comes to your office and creates chaos you can straight away file defamation suit. Dont take things hands down and wait for more trouble to happen

3) Report this case to matrimonial website as precaution

4) Last but not least inform Local police as suggested earlier, you have enough of evidence wrt SMS/Emails so even if she misuses law, you will be protected. ASk police to intervene her parents also if reqd

5) Stop replying to her calls /emails.....better change your mobile number


She will give up sooner or later, All the Best !

Born Fighter (xxx)     14 November 2014

Rahul (None)     14 November 2014


A) I stopped responding to emails / phones / SMS

b) I understand that laws are being misused & fakecases so treading with utmost caution.  

c) The problem with my apartment is that there is no security. But I have decided to not answer any calls and park my vehicle outside. Changing an apartment is complicated. But working on that. 

d) My company has only 6 people. No HR department. I will let the boss know

e) When and on what basis do I contact local police. Until a cognizable offence happens they will not register FIR. 


Thanks for your support

Born Fighter (xxx)     14 November 2014

Its not necessary that you approach Police station only when offence happens OR Register FIR, you can approach them with a written statement bringing it to their notice the torture faced by you. Don't forget to get an acknowledgement to your letter. Let the Police then decide what they want to do. At this stage you are just taking a precautionary step to avoid facing music at hands of biased women laws... Relax then 

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Advocate)     16 November 2014

You can safely lodge a complaint with the local police against her for trespassing and nuisance offences.

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