Originally posted by :Dr. MPS RAMANI Ph.D.[Tech]
Changing name and marriage are two different things. She can change her name and then get married or both of you can get married and then she can change her name.
You are just 22 and she is 21. Have both of you or either of you have sufficient means to lead a married life and support a family? As you are getting married without the consent of your respective parents, they may abandon you, if not do some thing like honour killing or forcibly take away your wife even after marriage. Further other than financial, young couples will need so many other kind of support. Your families may not support you if and when you are in distress. Many think that they can marry or do things without caring for the society around. That is not right. And when you say society your parents are also a part of it and they will only first come to your support if and when need arises.
Further each of you may have different food habits and family customs. Both of you should have tolerance and spirit of accommodation. You may be in the habit of going to temple and she may like to go to a mosque, her willingness to become a Hindu, notwithstanding. You may feel that your children should be brought up as Hindus and she as Muslims. Under the Special Marriages Act, children will have no religion until they reach the age of 18. Just by changing her name to that of a Hindu, the Society may not accept her as a Hindu. She may not be allowed to enter temples. No Hindu priest may do service to your family. That is why I say that if she is willing to become a Hindu, both of you go to an Arya Samaj Mandir and become Aryasamajists. Aryasamajists are Hindus only. Aryasamaj was a movement founded by Swami Dayanand Saraswathi in the last century to enable conversion from other religions to Hinduism. Even if orthodox temples do not allow your wife to enter, both of you can always go to Aryasamaj Mandirs. Aryasamaj priests will perform services to you. If you have dedicated friends to support you, that would be very important.
It is not because that your parents do not care for you, but it is because they care too much, that they may object to the marriage. After all, so far, both of you grew up under their care only.
Taking into account all these things, if you still wish to get married, go ahead.
I understand your Point. But we know each other more than 5 year. Nearly 8 year. We know each other very well. She always told me that she want to be a Hindu. And we don't believe in Gods or maintain to go any Tamale or something. We don’t have any restriction to eat food or cloths. Mean we don't maintain any restricted ourselves by some Religious. We just remember one thing that is we are a human and we should fill our Human Being each and every moment. So we have no problem to leave with each other.
But our only problem is this society Because this society is not having a good Human being Maximum People think about Cast, Religious etc. we just read all those good words in our childhood book’s and when we become adult we don’t even think about those good word, written in our child hood books-Human have only Religion, cast that is Human being.
So I decided to do the marriage without telling our parents .Then we will handle her parents fast (Police case, Honor killing, safe my wife – WE KNOW THOSE GONNA BE HAPPENED), then my Parents.
SO, Please don’t suggest us about food, Temple, Cloths, Culture, Child – We can handle that. PLEASE PLEASE suggest us
1) 1 ) After reading our post and some other’s we decided to first change her name then marriage. So, Is it possible to give a Hindu type name to Muslim girl (I am not going to change her last name Just First & Middle)
And who many days it will take? And procedure?
2) 2 ) Then I will go for Special Marriages Act, But How can I stop the letter after register was done, that is going to send to our parents.