FedUp (s) 16 February 2010

Help please!

I have been married for over a year; and right from the start, nothing marital has been happening between us. I wanted an intellectual partner, who can outsmart me as well. She told me she will work and has all the credentials. But all her intellectual claims were false; she, sorry to say, is a dumb girl in her own right. Recently, there was a little tiff between us and I just drew her a bit catching her hand (did not hurt her). She then made a huge tamasha out of it and left. For the past three months, she has been away. Even for the past one year, we both have hardly stayed together.

Given this background, I've few questions:

Can she claim I'm mentally harassing her (as I didnt have s*x with her)?
Even if she doesn't mutally agree for a divorce (she says she doesn't want to stay with her parents, as neighbors would buzz about them), can I file for divorce?
In all this, how strong would be any harassment filing against me?

Advance thanks to all respondents.

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23 Replies

sugandh (student) 16 February 2010

Mr. Fed Up...yes she can claim a mental harrasment, and i would say, she should claim...because living with such an intelligent guy, with only intelligence and no wisdom is itself a mental harrasment. Even you can file for divorce, but initially the court would also grant a decree of judicial seperation, and would give time to both of you, to rethink over divorce. My personal opinion about you has unfortunately been prejudiced, as it is not only silly but a sign of grave phsychopathic trouble with you, that you dint made love with your wife, for she is not an intellectual like you...!! Why dint you kept a quiz contest or somthink like that before marrying some one and spoiling her life?...so that atleast you would have married an intelligent girl. I would also suggest you, Mr. Fed Up, to convince her not to think about her neighbours and set her free...its just one year of your marraige, she must be young, she can still get a better spouse...and i pray a wise one this time, with a heart rather then a big brain, as your attitude is frustrating her and ofcourse yourself. Touching a woman or any one, with agrression, is enough to hurt emotionally may not be physically. This attitude of yours reflects a very unmanly quality in you, because gentlemen always love women not hurt them. I hope you are not offended by what ever i adviced, i even dont care if you did. But my advices were not as a lawyer, but as a humanbeing...that too a wise one, may not intelligent as you. May God bless the girl(with happiness), and you(with good sense)

Thanks & Regards,

Mr. Sugandh

Suchitra. S (Advocate) 16 February 2010

First thing first... let me answer your doubts. Yes, your wife can allege cruelty by you. I think you are intelligent enough to know even mental torture is also a kind of cruelty. Second, you can apply for divorce after an year after your marriage, even if your wife is agrreing for mutual divorce. Thridly, the harassment caused by you should be known by her allegations. I cant assume things.

But please understand, if you really wanted an intelligent girl, you should have given her IQ test before getting married to a dumb girl, instead of now confronting with so much trouble. I would then appreciate the fact that you are intelligent too.. :)

Guest (Guest) 16 February 2010

Hi,

Well said both of you! I dont know what role does intelligence and credentials play a role as far as love and affection are concerned. Anyways, we have started creating criteria for each and everything and as such making our life full of complexity and complications.

I think both of you should approach a family counselor and have some sessions of marital counselling!

Cheers!

P.s.: I suggest our friends and beloved forum members to not reply to any of the queries of persons those who do not disclose their identity!

Guest (Guest) 16 February 2010

Hi,

I think both of you should approach a family counselor and have some sessions of marital counselling!

Cheers!

P.s.: I suggest our friends and beloved forum members to not reply to any of the queries of persons those who do not disclose their identity!

sugandh (student) 16 February 2010

ya...i agree

Guest (Guest) 16 February 2010

I go along with the above replies.

I rarely find amusing comments out of pathetic situations created by querriers. In the querry one comment is - "She, sorry to say, is a dumb girl in her own right". If he has nothing to credit himself, atleast he has got a flair in writing. Befitting replies from Mr. Sugandh, Ms. Suchitra and Mr. Venkatesh.

Hardik Mehta (Family Counsellor) 17 February 2010

Fedup,

These types of tiffs are normal if it does not go to big extent and no assults. This things cannot be called as harrasment. Moreover, you should increase your emotional intellegence and try to accomodate the very nature that your wife has come from diffrent comfort zone (parents place) to totally new zone. She has to cope up with new environment and so this will take time. Your love will try to bridge that gap faster. She is not dumb, she is just trying to adjust to the new circumstance. This will have its own problems and the more faster you should get this thing, the more faster you will understand the value of relationship.

Your case does not come in any forms of cruelty. Under these circumstances, you will not get the divorce. I would suggest you to read about the relationships in Internet and then go and save the marriage.

girishankar (manager) 17 February 2010

Dear Sirs now days FEMALES are Very Powerful they can do any thing If U hav S*x for that also they can Sue u if U dont hav S*x also they can Sue you so deal it care fully...Dirty and Poor MALES so only by 2012 the world is goin to end........................

Guest (Guest) 17 February 2010

@Girishankar - Please be careful with your words while posting Sir, as you cannot blame any race, s*x, religion here as a whole. Also, our posts must not contain any vulgarity or offensive language hurting other forum members directly or indirectly. Hope you understand and take this in a right spirit and stand corrected.

Cheers!

girishankar (manager) 17 February 2010

Dear Mr. Venkatesh,

Pl go thru the queries of Mr.Fed Up care fully as a man not like law student{please become Proud after becoming a Lawyer}. I am not blaming any race I am saying the fact .If u need facts go to daily News Papers and recent Judgements...... I am not Hurting any one I am warning the males.

girishankar (manager) 17 February 2010

Dear Venkatesh,

Please let me know what Vulgarity and offensive language I hav used if let me know means it will be very useful to Change myself....... As A Proud Law student first go thru the Contents and pleas stated by Mr. Fed ..Up..

girishankar (manager) 18 February 2010

Ladies of the world unite

You have nothing to loose but your husbands.

https://timesofindia .indiatimes. com/CJI_Balakris hnan_admits_ to_misuse_ of_dowry_ laws/articleshow /4057825. cms

While it is hardly unusual for the higher judiciary to periodically decry the growing 'gross misuse of divorce laws' in India ( one calling it 'legal terrorism'), it shows a certain class of Chief Justice K G Balakrishnan on Saturday, to speak thus, in yet another anti-male propaganda meet organised by the NCW. He has also made it clear that the misuse was one of the motives necessitating the recent amendments to the CrPC. ( IPC 498a is one of the main reasons for ELDERLY ABUSE in India according to WHO )

However, the higher judiciary will still be accused of hypocrisy/helplessn ess/misandry, unless it answers the following questions :

1.) Why are divorces being allowed to be transformed into 'criminal cases' against the husband, with the primary intent of money-making by the lower judiciary and police, while they have clogged up most courts in India today?

2.) Why are 'divorce cases' allowed to drag on for ages, thus ruining marital and career progress of many a bright youngster in India today? ( Even now, lawyers are protesting the amendments in CrPC - which will rob them of their livelihood! )

The media too needs to be congratulated on creating awareness of such statements regarding misuse of these laws. But it continues its habitual stereotyping of males, ( due to the money pressure from the advertising sponsors, eager to woo the female consumer? ).

1.) It has to stop calling these laws as 'Dowry Laws', since they are primarily used to extort money from the husband at *Divorce*, and have NOT decreased the incidence of dowry one bit ( which incidentally, will happen only when females are given their due share of the inheritance by their own family ).

2.) It has to take into account, the increasing divorce rates in the country,( initiated 90% by the female ), primarily due to the lure of alimony. These divorces are acrimonious by nature, and are sought to be taken financial advantage off, by rich feminist groups, using the media to bad-mouth husbands.

WAKE UP MALES! SPEAK UP!

Parthasarathy

girishankar (manager) 18 February 2010

Dear Mr. Fed up,

Dont go to any counselrs or any other third party U ur self go and try to convince ur Mrs. it will be fine Pl dont think about Divorce.....Divorce is a worst thing....Its in ur hand how to convince ur Mrs. with love and affection..... I dont know why u r imagining urself about harresment filing....... Live Happily with ur family....all the best,,,,,,What hppnd in past forget abt it and start a new life with out worrying abt the Past..........Think abt Ur future.....And enjoy......

Guest (Guest) 18 February 2010

@girishankar - Don't worry about my education, I have completed MBL from NLSIU, Bangalore, and I dont see any need here to discuss about my education.

Everyone knows and reads the facts that are published in newspaper and we dont have to replicate the same here. The DV Act and other acts were introduced to keep the voilence against women under control.

When you talk about facts about women abusing men using these legal provisions, there is an equal or higher proportion of offenses happening against women, which are also published in newspaper.

Also, as a law student, I have not suggested him to go to court or divorce, instead asked him to approach a family counselor.

With a handful of facts, we do not have to blame that "females" and there is no need to point out the word "s*x" here.

Cheers!