Asghar (Ops Manager) 22 September 2011

From poor guy

Hi,

Myself Asghar Ali from Bangalore (India). I got married 2 years back and I have 10 months old daughter. My wife is staying at my house in my home town vellore along with my family. My family consist of My mother and brother and his family. Before marriage i confirmed that I'll keep my wife in bangalore along with me. After couple of months my wife got confirmation that shes expecting, due to that reason I couldn't bring her to bangalore. After delivery my kid was infant and due to cold climate I couldn't bring them here and clearly told these reasons to my inlaws. Recently my father in law passed away now monther in law is leading her own family.

I found a individual house to purchase. I was running short of jewels and thought of pledging my wife jewels. I informed my wife that I'll pledge her few jewels and I'll get that back within a year. She was find with that. The next day was our second year marriage anniversary. I've been to my in-laws house to meet them. Her uncle came along with 2 strange guys to discuss about jewels. They asked me under whos name I'm going to purchase this house and I told them that I'll purchase the house in brother's name who is legal guardian for me and whos the one who taken care of me after my father's death. They were not convinced with that and they told I should purchase the house with my wife's name because I'm using my wife's jewel to purchase this house. I was not happy with that and I told I'm not going to touch the jewel after this. I'll apply for loan and I'll purchase my own house (By Grace of God, my brother is earning much and he doesn't require house from my earning). It'll take 3 months to purchase the house my wife should be at my home along with my mom and family. They were not ready for that and they said my wife should be at my in-laws house until I purchase the house. I was told that my relations are telling that I have a illegal relationship with brothers wife and how can keep my wife in that house. I told when you guys are not trusting me I dont want to keep any relationship with you guys; however, they thought I said I dont want to keep relationship with my wife. Now they have given pettition for Khula (Devorce) in Jamat (Mosque) by stating I'm planning to buy house in brother's name by selling my wife's jewel and I said I dont want to keep any relationship with my wife. After that I tried negotiate with her uncle that I dont want jewel. I need my wife and my kid I'll take them to bangalore and I'll keep them in rented house but her uncle is not ready for that and he's not allowing me to talk with my wife and to see my daughter. Her uncle kept my wife and daughter in some unknown place. I've been to my inlaws house but the house locked. Her uncle not ready to tell where are they. My wife switched off her mobile. My wife doesn't support me and she always listen to her mom and uncle. In between I came to know that they are going to charge the false dowry case against me and my family, hence, I consult the lawyer and he said I should send the notice. I issued the lawyer notice to her and the copies were sent to women's police station, SP office and govt Secretariat by stating come back and live with me. I've clearly mentioned that they threat me that they have a good reputation in police and they'll charge the dowry case against me. Also I clearly mentioned come back and live with me. Recently I got reply to my legal notice by stating the I sold all my wife's jewel and I never gave food, shelter, medical and other basic requirements to my wife and daughter. I harrased my wife and I forced my inlaws to give me jewel and more money very frequently. My father in law expired because of this mental tourcher. Now my inlaws are claiming that my wife is angry with my legal notice and she doesn't want to live with me any more. I'm in a confused stage and I dont know how to bring back my wife and also doesn't know will she be with me forever instead going back to her mom house again. Can anyone help me how to deal this. Thanks in advance!

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5 Replies

Alok Tholiya (self employed) 22 September 2011

You are poor in your own sense but u r a bad case. Unless u have created affinity with ur wife how can u think of touching her valueables? Shocking? You are expected to add to her collections. But if time being u cant then no issues but u can not as a matter of right ask for it. How can u take house in ur brothers name and why???

No one does it . Not even Ambanies. And that too with a recently married wifes ornaments and when she has some doubt on you?

Say sorry to them, take house jointly in ur and her name. Give them( wife and child) lots of love,security and care. They r in ur family for that . And if u cant give then let them divorce with full respect as they are duped and atleast now u r gentleman.

shrinivasg Advocate. (N) 22 September 2011

Convince your wife through fon that u are her caring person and you will do things as per her wish. Take help of some elder persons in your family to solve the problems. Taking a house in brothers name started doubt in her mind. convincing is important. Otherwise you should take the home in your name and nominee your child.

Nadeem Qureshi (Advocate/ nadeemqureshi1@gmail.com) 22 September 2011

Dear Asghar Ali

today you can say that the Domestic Violance Act and 498A of IPC is the main arms in the hands of Womens, as per your query if you want to live with your wife without dignity and after broken the relationship with your brother and his family then follow the srinivasg's advice but if your are not wrong on your parts then file a civil suit to take her home and also filed a complaint case against her uncle and other family person and demand your wife to hon'ble court but don't forget that if your wife tells anything against you you can be prosecuted.

Asghar (Ops Manager) 22 September 2011

Hello Everyone,

Thank you very much for your valuable suggestions. My wife's mobile is switched off from that day and I tried to meet her several times; however, all the efforts went into vain. I tired convince her uncle more than 6 to 7 times; however, he doesn't want to discuss or reconcile privately instead of discussing this issue in Jamat (Mosque). In this situation, can I write one letter to my wife by explaining my situation and ask her to come back. I dont know will it be a problem again or can they create any issue from that letter. I seriously beleive that these issues are created by my inlaws and her uncle, because I know my wife and saw her from past 2 years. Please suggest me the best on this situation.

Alok Tholiya (self employed) 23 September 2011

The issues are created by you by keeping wife away, by trying to take loan against her jwellery, by trying to buy a flat in your brothers name. This all gives lots of doubt in mind. To rebuild the confidence you have to go before Jamat ( responsible gathering of who's who of community) and give sincere open heart assurance to the suffering family who are doing what a parents of a daughetr must do is protect her. Hats off to them for taking clear and lawful method. Many others take unlawful steps which you can read in papers daily.

You have no choice and you are doing nothing wrong, low, shameful. You are building trust and extending security before panchas to a pretty , young girl who left all her relative and closeones to your house with hope that toy will provide her security, care and love which is totally lacking in your acts.And no one is god to eneter your heart ( can you do hanmanji act and tear open and show your heart where none but she alone is there???) . No!! then only other way is to assre your sincerity before Jamat and win her for life time and have a happy family life thereafter.