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abcdefghij (ghj)     29 June 2017

Family problem

Dear All,

Please help me..m too worried...I was married in 2013. We lived in joint family comprising of my mother in law, father in law, brother in law, his wife, me and my husband. After my marriage my MIL showed her true colours and started troubling me in some or the other ways...she used to speak bad about me and my parents and used to brain wash my husband. she was very much insecure about her position after our marriage so she started bringing differences between me and my husband. i gave birth to my son in 2014. my husband earns almost 50000-60000 pm bt out of it he did nt give me any money for the expense of myself and my son....i used to bear all expenses out of the savings i did when i was doing job. And after many fights finally i decided to leave that house and come to my parents house in April 2017. I asked my husband that i will return to stay with him only if he agrees to live with me sepreatly. I asked him that we shall stay in a rented house in d same locality so that v can b in touch with them. i hv not asked him to break relations with my in laws. bt now he is not ready to leave his parents and live with me and m not going in that house again....m ready to live with him sepreatly coz when my mil used to speak bad things and mentaly tourcher me did nt speak a word...he never says any thing to his mother instead takes his side and insults me in front of her.

now if the matter reaches the point of divorce, will i get custody of my son ? he will be of three years in july...

i am nt interested in divorce bt if he files for divorce what will be my stand in such situation



 11 Replies

Rocky Smith (Instructor @ Calcutta (rockysmith4calcutta@gmail.com))     29 June 2017

Originally posted by : abcdefghij
i am nt interested in divorce bt if he files for divorce what will be my stand in such situation



I you are interested in divorce then file divorce. If he files divorce, then you file no-objection. 

Raveena Kataria (Advocate )     29 June 2017

He won't be able to file for divorce without any reasonable grounds.

To make it clear, the grounds for divorce are cruelty or adultery (which aren't applicable to you,) or desertion (which, again doesn't apply in your case as the defendant (party against whom a suit has been filed) should have deserted the spouse for a period of at least 2 years.)

Check complete grounds.

Kumar Doab (FIN)     29 June 2017

Don’t force spouse to stay away from parents.

It can be valid ground for divorce.

Both may crease the differences and save the marriage for sake of both and child.

Or settle the terms for separation and separate by mutual consent.

Raveena Kataria (Advocate )     29 June 2017

Originally posted by : Kumar Doab
Don’t force spouse to stay away from parents.

It can be valid ground for divorce.


It would not be so necessarily.


In your case, even if your husband files for restitution of conjugal rights, which is for want of a court decree compelling you to cohabit with him, (and the non-compliance of which would provide ones husband with the choice to obtain divorce after the lapse of one year,) in fact, such petition filed by him will fail as you have 'reasonable excuse for withdrawing from the society,' that is living with your parents instead, your husband being guilty of cruelty (insulting you in front of your MIL, etc.)

Kumar Doab (FIN)     29 June 2017

Both spouses can examine the evidence of charges that each want to lay on each other.

Raveena Kataria (Advocate )     29 June 2017

Considering everything, even if a situation occurs where the two of you are divorced/forced to be separated, remember what section 6(a) of the Hindu Minority and Guardianship Act lays down:

"The natural guardians of a person are: In the case of a boy or an unmarried girl, the father, and after him, the mother. However, the custody of a minor under the age of 5 years is to be ordinarily with the mother."

Please note, the paramount consideration which governs the court's decision as to the custody of the child is the child's welfare and not the rights of the parents. The court will consider all the facts and circumstances of your case before awarding the child's custody.

Kumar Doab (FIN)     29 June 2017

The welfare of child is of paramount importance.

Courts  consider and decide by it.

Born Fighter (xxx)     29 June 2017

Wife Separating Man From Parents is a Ground For Divorce: Supreme Court


Please browse the internet for judgement in this regards (HC/SC ) however pasting below news on the subject


When ur son grows grows up he will face the same situation and please note at that time you will have no body to look after you when you grow old (unless u get remarried) . I understand ur facing issues with your imother-in-law but they can be sorted out by going for marriage counselling / take help of elders and find out best solution. Give some time and please analyse the situation from all angles before taking legal steps/poilce.

Both you and husband are responsible for bringing the child in this world, do not take hasty decisions and spoil his life !!

Siddharth Srivastava (Advocate)     29 June 2017

Your problem is very common which is prevailing nowdays in every family where modern wife does not ready to bear. Marriage is the union of two s*xes but also of two families. You can not change your mother in law at this stage of her age. Try to understand her. I am not justifying the behavious of your mother in law or your husband but after reading your issue I feel that there is no issue between you and ur husband. I feel that you both require the help of a marriage counseller. So far your query is concerned it is to inform that till the age of 5 year mother is the natural guardian and thereafter father is the natural guardian. I suggest that think twice before opting for divorce. Try to make your husband undersatnd the situation and your feelings also but you also understand his problem who can not oppose his mother but also does not want to loose you. He is finding it difficult to make balance between the two. Give a thought to all circumstance and then take decision. Remember that your decision will adversely effect the upbringing of you child who require the love of both parents. In case need consult with details.

A walk alone (-)     30 June 2017

If you want to save marriage go and take help of marriage counselor. It will save your children future also. By your threads it clearly appears that your MIL has not accepted you from first day or you are not choice of your MIL. Mostly in these cases MIL feel insecure after her son marriage. She thought daughter in law will take her son away forever. That's only reason she will spoil her own son marriage. So if you can try then do something that can make her confident that you will not take her son away.

Kumar Doab (FIN)     30 June 2017

Mr. Born Fighter is right.

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