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Victim (Private)     29 June 2013

Ex-parte proceeding and probability



As most of us here are, I am too a victim of 498a. My wife did FIR against me and my family. The current status is that me and my family have got aniticpatory bail. The High court while granting me Anticipatory bail, said that the two families have to come for mediation by end of next month.




Meanwhile, my wife had filed for a divorce case as well, for which the hearing is next week. She had sent me notices on my home and office address. I refused to recieve the notice at my office saying to the courier person that I am on leave.


My concern is that if I or my lawyer are not present at the time of hearing next week, will the court give her ex-parte divorce. I read somewhere that before giving the ex-parte, there has to be notices, then summons and finally a newspaper publishment. Can my wife get ex-parte based on only two notices? I dont want to contest a divorce currently as we have to appear of mediation in High Court by end of next month. I feel that both parties would agree for a settlement there itself but my lawyer is asking for 3 lacs as her fees for fighting the case(which i feel could be only one hearing). Lawyer has already charged us 7 lacs for filing anticipatory bails :(. Can some one please guide me on this.


1) Can my wife get ex-parte based on only two notices?


2) Even if she gets ex-parte, can I challenge it(I want to do that after our mediation call)? What are the chances of the challenge getting successfull?


PS: His father is an influential person and has filed case in his area itself? Can he use it for ex-parte? 






 17 Replies

Victim (Private)     29 June 2013

The case is in one of the districts of Haryana. 

The reason lawyer gave was that he had to file the AB twice, one in the district where the bail would be rejected and then other one in Punjab and Haryana High court. 1.5 Lacs per head for total of 4 members. Even though the AB for my parents was one, he charged 2.5 lacs for that.

Indeed, he is just exploting the oppurtunity. The laws are such. My father is 67 years old and he has to take a personal loan to pay the lawyer fees. Now I would have to take a personal loan as well.  All this without the case even started.

Lawyers will keep on exploiting and we don't have any option. We aren't aware of laws and even if we are, it can be manipulated. 

Now he is demanding 2.5 Lacs for the case, saying that my wife can take advantage and get an ex-parte. Now that even when I am aware that according to law, she can't do that, my lawyer says why take risk. It's better if we appear and for that he will charge 2.5 Lacs(which could potentially be only one hearing). What option do I have :( ? First wife who's demanding 32 lacs and then this lawyer

2BHelpfull (Other)     29 June 2013

"" I refused to recieve the notice at my office saying to the courier person that I am on leave""

well notice must be sent through registered post .Court doesnot accept courier as official delivery.

if the notice at house is through courier then court will dismiss the case for the want of proper service of the u have to show to the Court that proper service of the notice has not been done.



""My concern is that if I or my lawyer are not present at the time of hearing next week, will the court give her ex-parte divorce""

for getting exparte orrder ur wife has to prove that proper notice has been given and if its first hearing and u remain absent then court will adjourn to next hearing and summons of the court will be issued .then it is adviceable to remain present  .


1 Like

Victim (Private)     29 June 2013


First of all thanks for the reply.

To add to ur first point. The notice that came to my home address was sent through Registered post. But as it was meant for me, the Post Office guys didn't give it to my parents. My father said that he can collect it on my behalf but the Post Office Guys refused. And the one that came to my office was a courier guy. Also, not sure if its of any significance, my father-in-law was present with the courier person when he came to my office. I saw them from the roof. Not sure, what was the purpose of his visit. Why would he travel all the way to another city just to deliver the notice.

To ur second point, can I conclude that its safe to not to be present in the court next week and no ex-parte will be issued(even if my father-in-law tries to exert his influence)? 

Victim (Private)     29 June 2013


  1. do u have copy of the FIR? get that first. 

Yes I have.

  1. based on the contents of the FIR, consult with few lawyers  and see if u can get the FIR quashed atleast for the parents.

For this too, I think it's better to wait till next month end mediation. It would be easy then.

  1. u may want to change the lawyer too if he is not cooperating. 

He is very clever, he told us about the fee when there's only one week left. It would be difficult to find another lawyer in such a short span of time.

  1. try to meet and network wth people on same boat. u can gain from mutual exp.

Will try to do that. Any forums for that? Can you help me, if you are aware.

  1. why r u not ok with the divorce? do u still want to continue with the female?

I am ok with the divorce. Infact, I want to fight the case. I won't give them a single penny. They are taking undue advantage of the law and I want to fight against it. She is the one who has taken my jewellery and all household items. A total of 10-11 Lacs of jwewllery is with her and she says its with me. I want to fight against the law. I want to teach them a lesson. But alas, every lawyer seems to exploit it rather than fight for justice. My case is very strong, I have more than enough proof to prove that its a total fake FIR and claims are baseless but no lawyer would agree. Its because of my current lawyer exploitation that I want this to come to an end. Hope, I had some honest lawyer with me, I would have taught my wife and his father a lesson for rest of their lives.

Its only that I want to delay the case till mediation happens. I want to listen them face to face and then decide. Right now whatever we know is through lawyers only, which could or could not be 100% true. Let both parties meet and then I want to decide. I want to save another 2.5 Lacs.

2BHelpfull (Other)     30 June 2013

say for the exparte. if u didnot appear in first hearing Court will issue summons


i told process for exparte but for safety whole case must be study. right from what r the section  u are charge with otherthan 498a. what r the allegation made in the divorce petition .etc etc.

well 498a has already been filed . and if u donot appear they will show that u r bad guy who doesnot honour court and 498a case is also filed .

as u say ur father-in-law is influence well in that case it is adviceable to appear in court with the copy  of high court order for mediation and request the family court to keep the case pending till mediation is not over .


safe way is to appoint the best lawyer with high reputation who will not exploit its client .

2BHelpfull (Other)     30 June 2013

please see ur PM inbox

Victim (Private)     30 June 2013

We are trying our level best to find some lawyer. Hope we get someone.

Can't my family appear in the court wihtout the lawyer saying that we need time till mediation is over or do I need to have a lawyer that time.

Also , as now no notice has been officialy come to me, how can I appear in court without the notice?


I am not even sure of the difference between summon and notice? Is there any difference in the way two are delivered. I hope whatever I recieved till now are only notices and not summons. Not sure about the difference?

Victim (Private)     30 June 2013

Can anybody clarify on my doubts please? Very less time left

Adv Archana Deshmukh (Practicing Advocate)     30 June 2013

@ victim,

If you want to contest the divorce petition, then do not take any risk as you do not know with what endorsements those notices are returned back. Appear in the court where the divorce petition is pending on the next date and seek time from the court for appointment of a lawyer and filing of WS and also tell about the mediation ordered by the HC. The court will grant time.

Victim (Private)     30 June 2013

Archana Mam,


Thanks for the reply. One thing that got clarified is that I(my family) should be present at the court next week. 

1) What I get from your reply is that my family can go without a lawyer and request court to grant some more time by citing the mediation order by HC that is supposed to happen by end of next month. Am I right?

2) Wouldn't the court ask my family that how did you come to know that their is a case today when you didn't get any notice at all?

3) What is a WS?



Adv Archana Deshmukh (Practicing Advocate)     30 June 2013

First of all YOU means YOU and does not include YOUR FAMILY. In a divorce case, it is you, who should appear before the court for seeking time and not your family.


1) What I get from your reply is that my family can go without a lawyer and request court to grant some more time by citing the mediation order by HC that is supposed to happen by end of next month. Am I right?

NO... YOU should be present and seek time for appointing a lawyer and filing of WS to the petition of your wife and also mention about HC's order for mediation.


2) Wouldn't the court ask my family that how did you come to know that their is a case today when you didn't get any notice at all?

The court is not bothered about these things.


3) What is a WS?

Written Statement.

1 Like

shriks........... (healyhcare)     30 June 2013

1.archana mam explained it properly........
2.why u so scared man????????
3.even if arrest would have happened, it would have be just for a day or 2, instead of taking regular bail later you spent lakhs and lakhs.....why....

4. lisyen man.....tighten your b*tt , and find a good , sober lawyer who will charge less and defend all cases, 
5. do not waste money, you would soon realise its value instead save for filling counter cases of threatening, defamation, aa fil approached your office premises...injunction orders etc......

6. experts here would guide you more efficiently compared to any1else.......i have experienced the same, i saved money and planned a strong stratergy by  lci along with my search helps a lot rather running after expensive lawyers exploiting you....

7. due to lci.....i started guiding my lawyer and we filed cases accordingly, today i am a bit on upper hand compared to my bitter half......

8. save money and defend all not give up so easily......

1 Like

Victim (Private)     30 June 2013

@Shriks, Archana Maam,

Thanks for your encouraging words. I am not scared, I have a very strong case in my hands with lot of proofs to counter whatever is written in FIR. 

1) For Money Saving: That is what I am trying to do now. As I am residing in another city, in such a short notice personal visit would cost me 20,000 to and fro and then I have to visit again after two weeks for mediation. That's the reason I asked Archana mam, if my family could go there instead (as case is against them too) and seek time untill mediation happens.

2) Finding a lawyer: Regarding finding the lawyer, I don't know how to find a reasonable and honest lawyer who just doesn't want to make money. If we have to take a lawyer next week, we are well short of time. We are already under lot of loans. Yes, I want to fight back. I want them to go through what my family and I have gone through. When I say my current lawyer that I don't want to give a single rupee, she says its better to give 4-5 Lacs then to fight a case. She doesn't seem too interested in fighting a case as she has already got 7 lacs from us.

Rahul (Engineer)     30 June 2013


 I have read your story & Pain. 1 thing is sure that your lawyer had charged you the most. 

As said by Archana maam go to court & Ask time citing mediation. And then look for a decent lawyer.

Stop paying to your current greedy lawyer, she is exploiting you & your family's hard earned money.

God Bless..

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