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sofianayak   03 April 2015

Dowry & negligence during pregnancy period

Hello sir,

  I am a graduate 26 years old married to a mechanical engineer 30 years old soon after completion of my exam (April 28 2014). I got married him on May 8 2014. My father-in-law is an Advocate and mother-in-law is a house wife whose education is up to primary school, strong supporter of old superstitious practices like black color is very harmful and so on. No one is able to convince her that now a days superstition has no place in family life.

  Because my mother-in-law is the niece in relation to my father as she is a daughter of a cousin sister, my father took quick decision to approve our marriage proposal without taking long time to make detail inquiry to their family member behavioral information.During the process of marriage settlement  some questions had arisen regarding dowry, but my father-in-law evaded the answer in very cunning way.

But after my marriage i got to know that their internal wish was dowry that's why they are teasing me in every aspect. I tried to adjust with them being embarrassed with hope theirs attitude will change with passage of time. But when they got to know that i am pregnant they became unhappy, and continue to tease me. But every thing has a limit. I can't tolerate their mental torch-our. I left my in-law home on 22nd jan 2015.

Now i am seven month of pregnant and staying in my parents home. Nobody from my in-law home contacting me and ask me about my health condition. Even my husband keep silence and not responding my phone call,sms, e-mail. Now i am feeling uneasy with growing baby inside my womb.  Even i asked my father to meet my husband personally at his residence.  When he arrived there and asked bout my husband to my father-in-law, he pleaded that my husband is not there though my husband is inside home. We got to know it from their neighbor. 
Why is he hiding himself?

I expect amicable solution of my problem. Need your advice.
What step to be taken in this case?
Recently we have submitted this case to NCW on-line.Need times to register. But need your further suggestion.

Is it possible  to stay with my husband in future but not with his parents.

With Regards.


 5 Replies

Adv. Nikhil Seth (legal consultant (9867264707))     03 April 2015

Understanding your situation all important that you and your husband meet and find a solution.It depends how much your husband stands by you . At this stage what is imp. is betterment of your health . Its necessary that he stands by you and give you moral support, its his child also , its necessary for him to take initiative and resolve the issue. In future you and your husband can stay together as nuclear family. As i said it all depends how he manages to be with you. for you and your husband world is open .

Try meeting him if possible and resolve the issue at the earliest so that you can have peace of mind.  

Regards ,




sofianayak   03 April 2015

Thank you for your advice sir.  

But my husband remain silence and do not respond my any e-mail,sms, phone call etc. He keeps hiding himself from my father while i sent my father to meet him. I do not know why he is keeping hiding himself from us instead to take initiative and resolve the issue.  In this period if he neglect me then how shall i believe him further though i have a wish to stay with him in future. That's why i need legal advice. Any law or anything which i can do that he will force to meet me and take the responsibility of my and my unborn baby.  I think that most probably his parents interfere in this case and refuse to meet me. For that reason i want to take action against them. Because too much silence and keeping distance in this time period is not fair. I am feeling uneasy. They are very selfish people. I feel that they have wrong intention on me from his negligence.

I need justice. What's my fault.

Need your suggestion.

Thank you. 

Born Fighter (xxx)     03 April 2015

Sofia, your husband was very well known to your father and obviously your father knew the background /mentality of your inlaws , if not the husband's. 




Do you think it is possible to change people at an age over 60plus ?  You cant say you didn't know the family you were getting married to. I'm not blaming you , please understand as no one would like to spoil their life.  What has happened cant change now and there is no point blaming as you agreed to the marriage as well and it was not forced upon.


What is happening is a girl gets married to a guy accepting his background/culture and then when things dont go the way she likes it leads to discord./ things take a legal turn  When you started having problems with your inlaws at that stage you should have worked out a solution by asking your husband to either resolve the issues or stay seperate, or taken a step to leave your husband.


Its a common trend nowadays that a women once she gets pregnant leaves her matrimony home thinking the husband will be FORCED/ pressurized to bow down or accept their demands, but it back fires badly many times and reaches a stage of ending the relation. 


Why force ??? why legal cases ??? why you both cant meet somehow and talk it out. What was the fault of your baby that at that crucial time when you were pregnant you took your child away from the father , the baby is deprived of the father's care and indirectly this state of mind that you are in is going to affect your moral and physical well being.


Write to him again in a tone that you wish to reconcile, stating your expectations as well in the best interest of your child.  if he is stubborn and once you realize he is not accepting responsibility as a father then you can think going legal. Remember its not society or legal system that will decide who is right or wrong but your  baby who will, and who needs both the parents !!!


sofianayak   04 April 2015

You are right sir @Bornfighter that it is not possible to change the mentality of 60 plus people. It is also not right that that 60 plus old man use his son against us in such time period when his son help, moral support is needed. And their 29 plus son support them blindly.

In my case, What happen?

First my in-law teasing me regarding dowry in various way.

Second when they got to know i am pregnant instead of being happy  and take care of myself, they become tensed  and neglecting me like not keeping healthy food, fruits etc which is necessary for a pregnant woman and continuing their teasing nature. Which hurts me a lot. In this time period the woman faces various changes like morning sickness, vomiting, hormonal changes etc. 

When told them about all these they started scolding me and told that i argued the elder. But in this case what should i do? They called my parents through phone and asked me to take my parental home because i complain them that they do not take care of their daughter in this period.

I considered also it is right to stay away from them in this period and came with my parents to my parental home. Am i wrong in this case?

Now their and particularly my husband responsibility to visit to me and take to me to the hospital for regular check up though i am staying in my parental home. Instead he is keeping distance and hiding himself from us by not responding any phone call, sms, email etc. When my father tried to meet they refuse to meet. After this what should i aspect from them?

Many time i try to solve this problem without going to take legal action. But if my husband do not take initiative step to resolve the problem then what shall i do? Instead he is keeping the situation more critical.

I do not claim for his property or him to bow down in front of me . I want just his moral support and care in this time period. I know his son get his property later, there is no doubt. If not the baby should claim to his father.

I just want how this situation is going to be resolve by taking legal action and i will stay with my husband peacefully without interfering of his parents in our personal life. Because maximum time i noticed that they took advantage of our small conflict and make a big issue.

I posted this to this forum when i failed to resolve in every way without taking any legal advice.

Kindly understand my situation and guide me instead taking my situation like other what generally other woman do.

Need your advice for further proceed.

Thank you. 

Born Fighter (xxx)     04 April 2015

Sofia, from your brief it seems all except you were at fault.....


Pls do some soul searching, you could have hurt your husband and inlaws in some way. What is your husbands n in-laws side of the story ??  All your attempts to reach out to him are probably not materializing as you are insisting him to leave his parents. It seems your husband is just not willing to accept that he has to leave his parents for the sake of his wife.  He is either too hurt or selfish.


Unless you both realize staying seperate could only be the solution to make the marriage work, nothing much can happen. You should avoid going legal at this stage, trust me as that will make your chances of reunion impossible. 


You are an educated women, leave these issues aside for the time being and concentrate on your pregnancy. I know its easy for me to say but that's the best you can do for your baby at this phase of pregnancy.


Think of options you have to make your marriage work where you both can achieve a win-win situation ( by both compromizing / adjusting ) , and once you start talking on those lines , your husband would attempt to cooperate.


The news of your baby's birth will make the difference, if hes a good guy he will definately try to make the marriage work ..... however if he continues being stubborn then you should move on !

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