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sanjeev001 (executive)     01 January 2012

Does refusal of s*x with wife amount to cruelty


dear sir,

              i would like this particular question that ' if a husband refuses to have s*x with wife, because he is mentally depressed because of an incident which happened on the first night of marriage. ' during our first night of marriage, when i had not even initiated any s*xual activity, i was just chatting with her, she accused me of being a ' hijra' which really traumatised me, but i neglected it, on the second night she again used the same word ' hijra' and u are not a man enough, just get out of the bedroom or i will call the police and accuse you or rape. then she in a fit of rage suddenly threw away my mangalsutra on the floor, due to these two incidents i have completely lost interested in s*x, though i am not impotent, i have lost all kinds of feelings thereafter. but as a duty of husband, i am still living with her, under the same roof but as two diffrent people, subsequently she tried to seduce me, but i am not at all interested in s*x with her, and have refused it all this while. i spoke to her parents and mine, about this incident, but she flatly denies this in front of them. i dont have any evidence to prove this, but i know what the fact was at the first night of marriage.

our marriage is 7 months old, but we have never had any intercourse. hence kindly advice me on the above issue, if it amounts to cruelty, will i be punished for that, and what kind of punishment can i expect for the same. i am ready to go to jail, but i am not interested in this  woman anymore. hence kindly advice on the above matter


 10 Replies

Shantanu Wavhal (Worker)     01 January 2012

if wife denies the facts & says - u refused for s*x intentionally, it will amount to cruelty.

always i wonder -

why the law has made a Male so helpless !!

1 Like

ritu sharma (lawyer)     02 January 2012

you will not get punishment for refusal ,  it is not a penal(criminal) offence.    on the basis of this allegation your wife can get divorce.       

1 Like

N.K.Assumi (Advocate)     02 January 2012

No doubt refusal of coitus and throwing away Mangal sutra amounts to cruelty. But according to your version, I am of the view that it is just an unfortunate incidents that has driven you to depression. First try to wash away your psychological inhibitions and both of you try to forgive and forget the past incidents, and start a afresh your marital life. Talk with your wife honestly about the past incidents and both of you fins a way to erase the past and live a new life from now.

1 Like

SRINIVASA PRASAD Warangal A.P (LEGAL PRACTIONER )     02 January 2012

I agree with Ritu Sarme.

Arvind Singh Chauhan (advocate)     02 January 2012

Assumi Sir has shown the appropriate direction. That is the chance to prove yourself.

sahil kumar (cosultancy)     02 January 2012


Unhappiness between husband and wife


Where the prosecution relied only on incident of unhappiness of deceased with her husband and the allegation was only in form of suggestion, it does not establish criminal offence under either or both of the charges, hence conviction under section 498A is improper; State v. K. Sridhar, 2000 Cr LJ 328 (Kant).

sahil kumar (cosultancy)     02 January 2012




For the purpose of this section, “cruelty” means—


(a) any wilful conduct which is of such a nature as is likely to drive the woman to commit suicide or to cause grave injury or danger to life, limb or health (whether mental or physical) of the woman; or


(b) harassment of the woman where such harassment is with a view to coercing her or any person related to her to meet any unlawful demand for any property or valuable security or is on account of failure by her or any person related to her to meet such demand.]


Dear Sir,

I am really sorry for your unhappy married life. However, I can advice you over phone after knowing some details from you. 


Advocate & Legal consultant,


1 Like

V R SHROFF (Sr. ADVOCATE Bombay High Court Mob: 9892432152)     02 January 2012



I advise you to live separately for another 3 months. Let her stay at her parent’s home during that period. 

As far as Jail & Punishment is concerned, it does not attract any Penal Punishment. You cannot be jailed for this act. The Act , if proved, amount to cruelty, and enable your wife to get Divorce. 

I notice many a marriage broke down on such  initial stage of talking. 

She stated the word without meaning it, and in form of light joke. If he age is below 23, they use such words with their college friends, and repeated it as you come closer to her. There is no intention. It is accidental.

Assumi  has shown the correct direction. That is the chance to prove yourself.

Giving you a recent example that caused their Divorce, for no reason : 

: "One such fresh wife, suddenly told,” My college class mate Pramjit is  56 kg, whitish, very handsome, tall, slim and we enjoyed  his company,  &I likes him so much. "

The Husband took it for granted that I have less height, I am blackish, and she must have affairs with the so called Pramjit. He left the interest in her, and despite her explanation that she just said it casually, and they were just class room friend, and had never gone alone anywhere, and never meet that person outside college compound, it did not work. They fight in Court for 5 years, and paid **L for Divorce and separated, wasting their 5 years of young age life, and business loss. Now both are remarried to different  persons, and living very happy life. 

It can be the same in your case. It can happen.

But Both of you need separation for 3 months, Rethink, and do not punish her for a very small mistake of her. During that period, get council ling, Talk with others, and if you can forget and forgive, nothing like that. After all, she came to you with lot of hope, expectation, and you have no moral right to spoil the entire life of an innocent girl. think of her family, what pain they will undergo. Think in case same thing happens with your sister or  daughter??

The cunning girls do lot of harm, lot of undesirable activity, but speak so sweet, and such a lie, that your never understand her cunningness, and they led very happy life, because such girls are smart and know, how to keep you pleased and happy. In fact such ladies are dangerous, and can change their color at any time. 

Your wife do not seem to be of that type, and hence deserve to be forgiven, and to be happy with you. 

As you said you did not consume marriage,  the moment in honey-moon time in hotel at hill station, it also means, you did not behave as a prudent man. A masculine man, in such atmosphere, within few days of marriage, will first get s*x at all cost, even if she insult. Sex is a very powerful motivator of Life, and stand in First No. 7 necessary elements for success in life. It sees nothing, no words, no boundary, not even her resistance, and the force is so blind, so powerful, and it would have overruled her comments. 

Remember what you said earlier:: you stated"

" my necessary weight required was actually more than 90 kgs as per my height,so not selected in Airport authority??  


i got married a year ago, but we are not compatible with each other, i eventually wanted to seek a divorce, but my wife is not ready to grant it, and doesnt want to do a MCD, i have lost interest in this relationship and wish to move ahead in life, but as my divorce is difficult, i cannot remarry with the girl i wish to, hence i would like to seek your valuable advice on this suggestion


 i wish to remarry again, but as divorce is impossible as wife is not willing, i wish to get converted to muslim religion, which, according to my knowledge, permits remarriage.

1) can my first wife take any legal objection on me getting converted to muslim religion.

2) does she also automatically get converted to muslim religion if i get converted legally

3) is remarriage possible, without divorce. if  get converted to muslim religion,


So forget all that, rethink ,  Marriage teaches us to sacrify for each other and fulfill the desire of your wife, even at your cost. Try to give happiness, and it star from home. God Bless You.

Adv Shroff


1 Like

sriram kartik (Advocate)     02 January 2012

i had one doubt, whether you both liked each other got married or any body forced for the marriage let you clarify this question so that you can get better answer.

If you both liked each other before marriage then the said problem may not arose between you. 

Throwing mangalsutra, that shows the sentiments, and it come under the cruelty .

live sepeartly for 3 months and follow the produce to obtian divorce on the same ground.

1 Like

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