Hi im manish from pune,
wanted help to understand course of action for my issue. Pls do go thru and help with your advice.
I have been married for almost 3-4 years. It was an arranged marriage. Within 2-3 months i could see a lot of mood swings in my wife's behaviour. i came to know that she was secretly going to meet some doctor for some treatments...mind, body cleanzing etc. What horrified me was the symtoms which she had disclosed to the doctor included...suicidal thoughts.!!
Within 6 months, our marriage was in shambles with her feeling that our entire family were against her and wanted to harm her. She had started showing signs of depression, suspision, anger, fear etc. Since her health was also not so good..we showed her to a doctor who after a few tests suggested we meet a psychiatrist.
It was after a number of visits to the doctor that we were informed that she was suffering from mental disorder - schizophrenia. The next 1-2 years had been filled with periods of visits to doctor, counselling, admissions to hospital etc. Each with an intermittant period of some recovery...then as in almost all schizophrenic patients...avoiding taking medicines...relapse of symtoms and the cycle of visits again. She had also tried taking overdosages of medicies 1-2 times in failed attempts to end her life.
Last 1-2 years...she is not listening to anybody's advise, stopped taking medicines, doesnt do any household work, every few months goes back to her parents place and spends months there.
In the last 4 years we have tried talking to her parents...but we only get excuses-
-that there is nothing wrong with her, she was fine before marriage, she is just a little sensitive, we have not been taking good care of her, etc.
Last 1 year...she has spent almost 9 months with her parents at nagpur. Last time she was at our house at pune, she had started becoming violent with the family members verbally and sometimes physically. All this as if to take revenge from us. In her sober state she would hear voices...i had to literally send her back to her parents for fear of her harming us or herself.
My inlaws do not talk much on this topic and just say, she is now taking medicines or she is fine, nothing about our future together, divorce or separation.
Post marriage life has become hell not only for me but also my family members.
Need help to understand:
1) Can i initiate divorce in above case. If so, on what grounds, and what options are available to me. Is there any advantage / disadvantage to person initiating the divorce.
2) Can my inlaws blame our family and drag us to court by saying that we are responsible for her condition. Since this is a mental problem, how can we prove that her illness was pre marriage.
3) can the marriage be considered as null and void as we did not know of her mental illness at time of marriage. Her family states that she was fine before marriage. how do we prove this illness is pre / post marriage. We have medical reports stating her hospitalization and presence of illness.
4) My wife used to work before marriage and worked for a year or so post marriage. As of now she is in no condition to work. Am i liable to pay alimony in such a case. if so how is the amount decided. Since she wasnt keeping well since beginning of marriage, i had decided not to have kids until her illness subsides.