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Soman (Dy Manager)     08 November 2013

Divorce on impotency & cruelty

I am in a peculier problem.

Married for 17 years, have two kids of 14 & 6 years.

At the initial stage I was troubled with ED & then by medicines the same was managed.

My wife along with kids left me last year & later on filed divioce case on reasons of cruelty & impotency.

My query is do I need to undergo the tests after 17 years of marriage?

My intension is to stop the divorce for the sake of kids.



Learning

 11 Replies

laxmi kant joshi (instructor)     08 November 2013

go to her place and bring her back on your home , ask her to co-operate you on this problem , visit the doctor and done your complete check- up , take regular medicine as per doctors advise , impotency is curable and in a short spell of time you will become normal don't feel inferiority complex .treat your wife nicely , ask her for moral support to come up you from this , love your children and make healthy atmosphere at your home , don't and never think for divorce , It is not a solution , it is a way for hell .
1 Like

Sandeep Naik (Advocate)     08 November 2013

She may file but she will not succeed. It is the wrong advice given by her advocate who just want grab money  instead of saving marriage. ED could be because of  diabetic problem. I am not doctor but if ur wife is merely interested in'' that '"relation and does not care for u then she is not doing the right thing and the law will not help her. You are not impotent and certainly not cruel. It is a physical problem and it could be solved with proper medical care. Dont be upset and get advice from proper medical field. It could also be stress related problem. U know ur problem the best. I am sure she will not succeed . If the better half is not caring for u the it is her problem. She is not a normal human being but a selfish person. Call me if u can on my mobile 9670 56980. Mumbai HighCourt. Adv. Sandeep Naik

1 Like

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Advocate)     08 November 2013

Advocate Sandeep Naik rightly advised you.  Impotency at this stage especially after two children were born out of the wedlock cannot be accepted as a ground for divorce by the court.  You do not have to undergo medical test to prove your potency at this stage of your married life.I think ED will not hold ground for her claim.  You contest the case and make a counter claim for restitution of conjugal rights by paying appropriate court fees.  You refuse to pay maintenance amount stating that you are willing to maintain her but it is she who left the matrimonial house without any valid reason.  Engage a good lawyer and pursue the case.

1 Like

Soman (Dy Manager)     09 November 2013

@ Laxmi Kant Joshi, thanks Sir.

I tried my best by sending elders, relatives, society leaedrs but nothing materialised. When I talked to my  Fr. & Br. in-laws they are of the opininon that she is educated & they would not force her ( As per my knowledge they advised her but not listened). She has already filed the case & now there is no way of negotiations left.

@ Adv. Sandeep Naik & Adv. Kalaiselvan

Thanks a lot Sir.

I could deal with the cruelty part of accusations. In 17 years she has not met any Dr. or any complaint was filed against me. There certainly were some normal fights once in a while but no violance. In front of the councillor I told her that I would ask the court to bring my daughters as witness; she stumbled. As for the money part, I agreed in the court that I would pay 20K every month... its being paid & she is taking care of the kids well. RCR claim made. My Adv. became greedy & started negotiating with them for some settlement and I changed the Adv.

Your replies just soothened me.

The case is in Kerala n' I'm in Mumbai. Will need your advice again later. Thanks once again for your valuable time & supports.

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Advocate)     09 November 2013

If you feel your lawyer is not faithful to you and is indulged in double game, change him immediately, as far as maintenance amount, it is your will and wish, but do not become a slave for her greedy and selfish ambitions. You consult a good local lawyer and then proceed with the case.

1 Like

Soman (Dy Manager)     10 November 2013

@  Adv. Kalaiselvan

I have already changed my lawyer.

He had a discussion with the other advocate without my consent to sellte the case by paying a huge amount and maintenance also.

It is not mearly winning the case or money which matters to me, I am trying to get my family back. This I had clearly indicated to him. I do not know, may be he was looking for some percentage !!

"do not become a slave for her greedy and selfish ambitions" Yes Sir, Thanks for the reminder.

Next counselling is due in sec. week of December. I will proceed with the case.

Soman (Dy Manager)     18 January 2014

Could someone please tell the steps in contested divorce?

1) My wife filed for divorce.

2) I am contesting, hence objections & explanations given in writing through Advocate.

3) Counselling sessions failed as she kept on repeating "I want divorce".

4) The counsellors gave their reports to court (I do not know the content).

 What would be the next steps in the procedure?

When should I submit my income proof and other evidences of money sent to her etc?

When would the cross examinations start?

Those who know the procedure please elucidate in brief.

sandykrish (Interested in Family LAW)     18 January 2014

@Soman, now thats great, your wife is in hurry to remarry or harass you further, in the modern era anything could be possible. Now the mediation report eould have been sent to the court indicated as failed. Now process is very simple. Talk about maintenance if she has filed some IA like crpc 125 or HMA 24. If she is working then she will not get any maintenance. But for your children yes you are equally resposible now take every steps as it comes dont preempt decision the way you think. Let her file IA for maintenance then defend according. In the process if your children are above 7 years file for child custody case and try bringing them to you. Now for her divorce case try following delay tactics ask your lawyer to take 2-3 dates for filing objections and them comrs her evidence and then her cross and then your evidence and then your cross later arguments and then orders the whole process would take any where between 3-5 years. Be prepared for the battle. You are quite not suited legal battle considering the way you have built emotions. Your marriage is dead try opting for MCD and take child custody.

1 Like

Soman (Dy Manager)     23 January 2014

@ Sandykrish, Thanks.

So the order is

1)   Submission of evidences by her

2)   Her cross examination

3)   Submission of my evidences

4)   My cross examination

5)   Arguments by both advocates

6)   Judgement.

You are absolutely right in your judgement; I am “quite not suited for legal battle”.

Still, I will face whatever comes.

Soman (Dy Manager)     16 March 2014

Cases against me are for divorce under 13 (i) (ia) and maintenance under CRPC 125.

Evidence submitted by my wife are the marriage certificate and some expenditure details like rent agreement, school bills and daughter’s treatment bills.

There is absolutely no document on the reasons for divorce. (The accusations are impotency, physical and mental cruelty.)

She has not filed any police case on me till now; separated for two and an half years.

What could be the winning possibility based on her affidavit alone?

Kindly give your opinion.

Adv. Neha ( )     16 March 2014

Completely agreed with above learned members of LCI. After having 2 children out of wedlock, impotency cann't b a ground for divorce or certainly its not a cruelty rather its a medical problem. Infact, your wife is doing cruelty on you by not staying with you when you need her support emotionally as well willfully. She seems to be that she dont care about yourself, she was just staying with you for a particular purpose.
Such a selfish act..

Adv. Neha

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