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firoz ali (XX)     14 September 2011

Divorce - muslim marriage

Hello Everyone


I am new to this site & browsing through google i thought to get some ideas & tips on how to protect me & my family from my in laws & wife. My case is very complicated unless understand each & every phase which came through my life since my engagement Jan 2010.

Here it goes... Mine is an arrange marriage & everything were performed through muslim rituals. I met my wife before marriage in Jan 2010 & we soon got engaged the same month. Then decided to get marry in May 2010 after 5 months. The 5 months phase was not less than trauma. i.e. my wife had gone through heart surgery when she was 10 & it wasn't disclosed to me nor my parents. After engagement i started talking to my wife over phone & she disclosed this fact & when i asked her if the same is disclosed to my parents her answer was YES. Knowingly like a stupid i didnt cross check the same & after 10-15 days I happen to talk to parents & they say they are not aware of this fact. so my parents & her parents had a round table talk & they pleaded to forgive finally my dad accepted for the marriage if she is physically fit & till that time we didnt see any physical illness & she looked perfect. After that we moved on & it was almost April 2010 when she disclosed some of her past affairs & such facts which i couldnt tolerate. The reason i couldnt digest some parts of her was because in the begning she showed me a very gloomy & colourful picture of her side despite of me not asking anything about her past but their were many contradictory statements which forced me to pull out the truth from her mouth & finally she said many truths which were actually lie earlier. Also during the same period she showed me her body stitch marks which she never disclosed to me nor my parents & looking at all these things i was grately pissed off & i decided firmly not to marry her at any cost. this was April 2010. Then one fine day she comes home alone without informing me with a bottle of finyale & drank it. So i had to take her to the hospital & get her medicated and also the police stuff came up but everything was handled as my inlaws are very influential guys. During the phase before marriage we never had any physical relation or premarital s*x with each other. After the finayle incident my parents were very adamant to break up the marriage but one of their far relatives called my parents & said if you are not accepting the girl then theirs parents & brothers are very influential ppl & they can do anything. with a fear of this not notifying to me about this call my parents pressurized me tremendously for the marriage & i gave up disheartendly. Finally the marriage took place & i took my bride to my house. I was recovering from the past issues & also helpd her to start a new stuff but though it was very difficult. I left her to my house & i went in a different city for my job. After 15-20 days she fell ill badly & was bedrest for straight two months. she had stomach ache/mental problems/shouting/crying for unknown reason. finally my parents called her parent & her brother to take her back & heal her as you all said that the girl is physically fit. finally after some calls there they came in & took her along with them for treatment. Now its been more than 1 year that I am staying seperated with my wife waiting for her to get healed. It was noticed that she has had many mental issues like demanding for divorce at times & at times denying for divorce, phone call fightings, using abusive language. It was feb 2011 that she recoverd a from her mental health issue & her father started demanding to take her back to her husbands house. But me talking to my wife & her sister in law they said that she is not completely well & needs more time to heal but at the same time demanding for no reason to take her back. I didnt quite responded to it because she had the same mental problem of getting aggressive, demanding for divorce at times, using abusive language & changing the opposite in the next minute. From feb 2011 till date we have been having constant fight on phone. she accepts that she is not fit at all physically & mentally though she wants to live with me now no matter what despite me giving her promises to take some more time & get well & i will take you back. It was july when my parents went to see her at her home & she had a huge quarrel with my parents with full disrespect to take me back after hearing all these i too got impatient & said i will never take her back home. It was in Aug when she , & her family members visited my house without any prior intimation & demanding to keep her with you & we are not taking her back with us. She is also been threatening of suicide if i dont keep her or dont take her back. seeing this I secretly went to nearby police stn & made NC complaint against them. finally they took her back along with them. It was some days after this incident that me & my wife had phone fights & i said that i will divorce you if you dont stop mental torture & dont keep patience. Finally they made  a big step of again coming to my house with a police & a lawyer. Her father had false claim saying we are demanding for dowry & cash money, also stating that this was a love marriage & not an arrange marriage. But the police officer knew about the complaint i made a week ago so he asked them to cool down & solve the matter at home rather than in court or police stn.


Guys after all this i had approached some lawyers in my city & in my inlaws city but all the lawyers show a very easy win in this issue but i am not satisfied with their claims. I honestly dont want to continue with my wife as she is still unstable & not in proper mental condition or physical condition. After all the above things which happend & also using false claims against us i am no more in mood to compromise on the situation. I need sincere answers as to how do i proceed keeping me & my family members safe. My in laws are very influential guys infact very very influential. If they have to spoil my career using false claims & its not a big deal for them. I have been quite often on busines travel to other countries & on this my wife stated i will spoil ur work & career & make sure you never come up again.

According to islamic shariah I can divorce her very easily by giving her in writing or speaking talaq in front of two witness. but the only which is bothering me is false claims they can put against me & my family . I have many call recordings & videos which we took while to keep ourselve safe as we knew these ppl are going to turn away from anything if something goes wrong in future.


Please give me honest & sincere suggestion as I really dont know how I should proceed

regards



Learning

 42 Replies

Shonee Kapoor (Legal Evangelist - TRIPAKSHA)     14 September 2011

Hmmm,

 

This problem can be resolved socially, no need to get into legal problems, unless forced to by in-laws.

 

Which City/ State btw the case pretains to

 

Regards,

 

Shonee Kapoor

harassed.by.498a@gmail.com

firoz ali (XX)     15 September 2011

Hi I am from mumbai & my wife is from delhi...during the time of my marriage i used to stay in delhi & i migrated to mumbai in Feb 2011...

I have got almost all of them saying the same thing that the dont get in to legal matters but the same people advice me that they can screw your career & life if they first approach police with false claims like dowry & once I happen to slap her at my home due to her weired behaviour & on this can put domestic violence case wherein i can be jailed & my passport would be in police custody. I am at a very crucial stage in my career & if something comes in between my growth like this I will be screwed for a long time.. I just dont want to take any chance on my career path

thnx

Shonee Kapoor (Legal Evangelist - TRIPAKSHA)     15 September 2011

If you are scared, people would scare you more.

 

Concentrate on your career and life. Cases would come and go. If you don't make cases your life, you would be fine. If you focus too much on cases, you are doomed.

 

In Delhi things are pretty cool. We should cross the bridge once we come to it and should not be too worried about it beforehand.

 

If you ever need any help in Delhi regarding false cases, you can always get in touch with me

 

Regards,

 

Shonee Kapoor

harassed.by.498a@gmail.com

firoz ali (XX)     15 September 2011

Hi Shonee

I am not worried about anything except my work. I am ready to be in JAIL for 1 year provided if my work doesnt get impact with it. But as of now can I do anything like availing an anticipatory bail or some case based on assumption?

rgds

insaniyat (Engineer)     15 September 2011

Hi Firoz,

As Shoneeji said, do not worry too much at this stage. You are proactive, it is enough for your future. Take Anticipatory Bail for you and your family in advance. I made this mistake of not taking Anticipatory Bail in my case.

 

Leave things to Allah, no one can destroy anyone except Allah. It is our believe. If you are true in what you describe above, then be patience. Never show your anger, be cool and silent. (Read this sentence till you understand the meaning of "cool"). Try collecting evidences (video calls, medical records etc..) as much as possible.

 

Concentrate on your career and goals in your life.

Never Give Up

firoz ali (XX)     16 September 2011

thanks insaniyat.. but i have come to know that I can only avail anticipatory if theirs a complaint in my name or else i cannot take anticipatory bail

Shonee Kapoor (Legal Evangelist - TRIPAKSHA)     16 September 2011

Yes, you can.

 

But there is a need to show some kind of real apprehension, which in Delhi amounts to a complaint in CAW Cell.

 

We would cross teh bridge once we come to it.

 

Call me when such situation arises, based on allegations levelled on you, we can decide future stratergy.

 

Regards,

 

Shonee Kapoor

 

firoz ali (XX)     16 September 2011

Hi Shonee Ji

Can you send me your cell number to my email firozgauri@gmail.com so i can talk to you directly

 

rgds

Shonee Kapoor (Legal Evangelist - TRIPAKSHA)     16 September 2011

sent

firoz ali (XX)     22 September 2011

 
refer the link above
 
CAN ANYONE PUT SOME LIGHT on the above link or the below para????
 
 
3. MUSLIM WOMEN IN INDIA WIN RIGHT TO DIVORCE

MUSLIM WOMEN IN INDIA WIN RIGHT TO DIVORCE IN COURT

Uttering talaq, talaq, talaq (I divorce you. I divorce you. I divorce you.) in the presence of three witnesses in the past was enough for a Muslim man in India to divorce his wife, even if his wife was not present. The basis for these divorces could be such trivial matters as the ability of the wife to cook, her appearance or answering back to her husband. This divorce practice, based on Islamic sharia law, affected Muslim women from all social classes and educational levels in the country, leaving many women destitute without any means of financial support.

Now the Mumbai High Court has ruled that Muslim men will have to divorce their wives in court, giving Muslim women the right of due process of law. This ruling will apply not only to Muslim men and women in Mumbai but to Muslims throughout India. In its ruling, the court states that a Muslim man must hire a lawyer, file a divorce petition and bring his case before a judge, who will decide, among other things, if the divorce is justified and whether the husband must provide financial support for his wife after their marriage is annulled. The court will also assess whether the man has made an effort to reconcile with his wife as prescribed by Islam. Moreover, the man�s wife must be present in the courtroom.

This ruling overcomes the silence of the government and of society in Muslim divorce cases after the case of Shah Bano 17 years ago. In this case, Shah Bano, who had been married to her husband for 43 years, was thrown out of her house after her husband decided to take a second wife. Although Indian civil law entitled Shah Bano to a small amount of money from her husband, he refused to give her any financial support. She took the case to court, but her husband claimed that he was bound only by Islamic law. The case was eventually decided by the Supreme Court, which set a major precedent by stating that a husband must financially assist his wife after they are divorced if she cannot support herself.
For the complete text, you may contact brucevv@ahrchk.org

Shonee Kapoor (Legal Evangelist - TRIPAKSHA)     23 September 2011

This is from Daniel Lataffi judgement. regarding maintenance of muslim women on divorce.

 

I don't think that tripletalaaq has been termed invalid across India, as it still happens

firoz ali (XX)     25 September 2011

Hello guys.

This is just an update on what happend yesterday & to my expectations they did things which i taught of. I along with my father & some relatives visited inlaws house & they openly threatened of my life incase I break this marriage. They infact also made (home minister P.A.)  visit at the same time & talk to us. My wifes elder brother has openly declared if i divorce my wife then either he would be alive or me & my wife too has supported their family members saying they will do what they want.  

I am not afraid of their threatenings but my parents are, I am decided not to continue with my wife as she is using all filthy ways & lies to get support from their family & wants to live with me whereas I dont. Now i dont know whom should I approach & talk to as a matter a fact my situation has taken a ugly turn on me.

any sincere suggestion or help most welcome

Shonee Kapoor (Legal Evangelist - TRIPAKSHA)     25 September 2011

Fear is our biggest enemy.

 

Do things which could yield desired results and not be worried about threats.

 

Regards,

 

Shonee Kapoor

harassed.by.498a@gmail.com

firoz ali (XX)     15 October 2011

Hello ppl

 

Finally I have worked out on something & decided to give talaaq thru shariah law just b4 i fly to UK. I was suggested by many experts saying my wife can get my passport impounded with false allegations & my travel can be halted so I decided to give talaaq nama only on the day of travel & a written talaaq in signed in front of two witness which will be registered post in her name. I am ok to give her maintenance which she definitely will go for & i have no issues with that...... I have 2 questions here.

1) I am a owner of a flat which is underconstruction & its in my name with bank home loan running on it. Can I gift this house to my parents or brother or may be transfer the property name keeping my home loan still running or may be any other way so that my wife couldnot claim any part from my flat as she is well aware of the same?

2) what can be the worst allegations she can put against me & my family after I divorce her?

 

I know that I will have to get a lawyer represent me at court on hearings as I am going for a long term & I am also ready to do that.

Any suggestions will be much appreciated

 

regards

firoz


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