Why men wants to make changes only in their favorable ways?

Fighter Hiya !!!

Chandu lal ji, I can also search on the Internet and post 1000 + judgements in which misuse of women biased laws is evident. and everbody understands the economics behind these laws..... ofcourse by making the laws gender neutral, the rozi roti of advocates ( no offence to ethical advocates) will certainly be affected! family problems should be dealt the right way boss......... please let me know if you want me to post the judgements to make ur comment look small......... in return of what u did just now.......
 
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@ chandu

Nice article mr chandu.

What I think, the problem is with the implication of law. I know that everyone's side is heard at the court. But atleast husband is also be given a chance to be heard. How do police through the whole family of husband just by listening to girl's side ? And most of the time complaint prepared by her advocate who is generally a male.

125 & Dv may be okay, but 498a ? 

There must be some rules for implicating 498a, like after dv, court order for 498a. Or FIR will be written by DCP or any other higher level officer. Not like that girl's advocate give her a full proof complaint which turn into 498a FIR.

Why not punishment be given to girl if she missuses. I agrees that may be girl is not able to prove her allegations as they are behimd four walls of home. But  there will some level of false allegations. Like if girl says that my husband beat me on x date and later found that on that day she was at her parental home or husband is not at his home, Hence her complaint is totally false. 

Many countries tried to empower women, but Indian govt. behave extraordinary. Giving someone power is different than allowing him/her to do massacre. Power to be given according to need & ability. Also review of one's power is necessary other wise he/she become dominent. Which is happenig in india. 

There exists a word known as "justice". According to wikipedia, justice means:-

Justice is a concept of moral rightness based on ethicsrationalitylawnatural lawreligion, orequity, along with the punishment of the breach of said ethics; justice is the act of being just and/or fair.

 

One cannot justified his saying that since women are exploited since centuries hence now we allow her to exploit men to prevail equality. No moral value or word justice have any sence then. 

Also I think saying women are exploited since centuries. If this is so fgrom where does woman known as cliopetra & nefertity come ? Click following links to have a preview about women's power(if they will):-

http://www.whereincity.com/india/great-indians/women/

http://listverse.com/2007/11/18/top-10-greatest-women-in-history/

 

One can say they are exceptionals. yes they are, but what make them exceptional ? If men are always dominating & restriction maker from where these exception arise ?

I like to write something more about so called man's dominating nature. Please tell, when you are a kid/young who work for livelihood in your home ? generraly the "father" . Now, when you are grown up, who work for livelihood ? I's you. And what happen when you grow old ? Who work for livelihood ? Generally your son. What is the conclusion? i.e. This is law of nature that  the most powerful & able  person in the family work for livelihood as he has the maximum power & ability to earn. Hence men who is more powerful & able to earn more, generraly work in society.

I differ from the saying that man is always dominating since centuries. He like his woman to be behind walls of home. There is a word known as LOVE. And then come other words known as CARE & SECURITY. It's the feeling to give care & security to the one whom you love which make men to work & make his woman sit at home securely. If man didnot think of care & security of his love then it is very easy for a man to run from his liabilities. He is able to look after himself unlike women who generally require someone as company. It is a hard fact that women is not able to work equal to men. There always some time ( every month) when she feel very week. One has to blame mother nature for this. Hence she require men. Men provide her comfort.

But why men require women ? It's his love which bind him toward his woman.( reason may be any, either he shows his love or not).

Quarell between husband & wife always exists. Why to call it beating of wife ???

 
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advocate

@zeeshan-i did not blam anyone ,infact i said its high time 'we treat men nd women equally with equal rights,'as an individual i did not find any discrimination in my life and around.
 
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@ anita

My lines for blaming is for author(i.e.who start this thread).

 
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advocate

@zeeshan-U quoted my post and gave a reply...starting with madam,So i assumed you are mentioning me.Ok then .cool:)

 
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For justice and dignity

as i have said earlier also in many posts,women themselves are the enemies of women.

 

the other day a discussion was going on amongst my female aquaintances.some of them are of my mum's generation,and some are of my generation.there were a few unmarried girls also.

 

the issue was,wot shud a married woman do with her income after marriage.the unmarried women(my age) said that they will HAVE TO hand over their salary to their in-laws after marriage.i asked y? they said it's a tradition.then i said,wot if u want to spend it on urself.they said,they will ask in-laws for the money,whenever they need it..

i said a married woman shud definately spend her money on her new home's household expenses,but i dont agree that she shud hand over her salary to in-laws.she can keep it with herself,and then spend on the household expenses.but no one agreed wid me.

 

then on  another day,when one lady shared her mother-in-law's taunting nature,she was advised by all ladies,including those of my generation,that mother-in-laws are always like this.they also got harassed by their MILs.so you must bear this gracefully,because they are taking out their frustration on you.....

 

then another lady of my mum's generation(who is 60 +) shared that till now her sister-in-law taunts her whenever she visits and stays in her house.and she bears it till now.i asked her why you always welcome her in your very own house,when she misbehaves...and she looked at me peculiarly,as if i am provoking her to rebel.

 

 

similarly when i was in college,i was once having a discussion on dowry with my batchmates.we were in B.Sc batch.all the girls except me said that there's no harm in paying dowry,because thats the tradition.rather they looked at me peculiarly,for having a wrong thinking.mind you,these girls were from upper middle class families,with educated parents...

 

In fact,in all these years,i have so often heard women welcoming suppression as some indian tradition,that i know in advance whenever i am sitting in a women's group,what they will speak when the issues of marriage and social evil come up..


if u note,in all the the above family dramas,no men are involved.the fight is amongst women only.and women also dont like to stand up for one another.they keep advising women to bear harassment gracefully,as if it's a tradition to tolerate nonsense in india.

rather i was blamed for having a wrong thinking!  mind you,all these ladies hold masters degrees,and are working at good posts.

 

so whenever u talk to indian women,it doesnt matter whether they are educated or not...,usually ladies are not united when it comes to social evils and keep lecturing others to "change their attitude".they like to remian suppressed,and welcome this suppression too.

 

for example-u will never hear men saying "let's change our attitude to adjust with our wives".

 

you will never hear mother in-laws saying in a group,"let us changge our possessive natures to show love to our daughter -in-law and equal treatment to our samdhis...they always speak sharply about them.

 

that is why i always say that education cannot change a person's thinking,because we are not getting any spiritual or moral education.we are only getting technical education..

 
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To whomesoever it may concern:

 

Men Do adjust and so do women..this is the mantra of a successful marriage...no one blames each other.but adjust..no one says that men are not adjusting..but they adjust..there is no revolt..there is only one objective..to be happy as a family...have children, grow old together, se our children grow, children getting maried..

 

These good things are possible when both men and women adjust...try to make every day as new as possible...

 

In successful marriagEs...men take care of their wifes..and women of their husbands...

 

THE SINGLE THOUGHT THAT THE OTHER PARTNER IS NOT ADJUSTING AND IT IS ME WHO HAS TO ADJUST ALL THE TIME...WILL BREAK THE MARRIAGE..

 

Gautam


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Teacher

aptly opined to have a good marriage by author above

 
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For justice and dignity

can someone explain what "adjustment" in a marriage means???

 

as i can understand,it means to accommodate.for example,if your spouse has a bad cold,you lower your bedroom's fan speed,so that he can sleep comfortably.however,if he doesnt want the fan at all while you want it,you sleep in another room till he recovers..

 

similarly,if your spouse hates outing while you like it,you dont fight with him,but go our with your frenz occassionally instead of fighting with him to change himself.this way,ur dignity or self respect are not compromised,and his likes/dislikes are also considered.

in the first scenario,for example,though the healthy spouse had to face a little discomfort,it was not so bad,that it affected his mental health,or lowered his confidence.the unhealthy spouse was also not harassing him/her..he had a genuine problem..

the above 2 egs. are cases of +ve kind of adjustment dun by the compromising spouse in which he did not have to lower his dignity,and the comfort of the other spouse was also catered to.such adjustments are very much reqd. for harmony...

 

however in india,we often hear people advise a married woman to "adjust" even if she is facing verbal abuses(like gaalis,taunts for her bad cooking,dark complaexion etc)

 

in all the egs. that i quoted above in my last post,all those women are facing some kind of abuse,which they dont want to admit that they are facing....they say they are adjusting,whereas i feel they are "tolerating"and do not want to have any say in life even if they are highly educated and working.at the same time,they are teaching other women also to tolerate verbal taunts becuase their MILs also tolerated the same...so this family tradition of envying and abusing must go on...

 

so can u LCI people tell me,what you exactly mean by the word adjustment?I ask this since u said in a few lines,that adjustment is the only key to a successful marriage.but this is a vague statement...i am not sure about wot u r saying..

is it to tolerate ill behavior,or is it to become a lil flexible(without lowering ur dignity) so that ur spouse can live comfortably and so can u??

 

 

kindly elaborate..

 
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never ending debate....yet nobody would change their attitude

 
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