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Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     11 September 2011

Bitter halves are better off on their own

Well, at least that's what a recent survey held in the country suggests 


Gone are the days when women used to be submissive and lived with their men under any circumstance and when divorce used to be a stigma. Well, at least that's what a recent survey held in the country suggests. 

According to the survey, divorce rates are soaring among India's newly affluent middle class, as working women with independent incomes refuse to submit to the traditional ideal of marriage. The scenario seems to have completely changed and the women no longer give a second thought when it comes to seeking divorce. 

Shweta Arora is a perfect example of such a modern-day woman. Though she had a love-cum-arranged marriage, she filed for a divorce even before her first marriage anniversary. And being economically independent she also didn't ask for any alimony, as getting a divorce was her primary concern. 

Shweta shares: Soon after my marriage I came to know that my husband was a drug addict and had no intentions of quitting it. I tried my level best to convince him to join a rehab centre but failed. Once I realised the futility of it, I didn't waste a second and filed for a divorce and soon I got divorced. Now I am a free bird. 

To Shalini Mathur, secretary of an NGO for women, the survey appears to be genuine as she feels that women no more think of divorce as a social stigma. Earlier also middle class women wanted to take divorce but couldn't because of the social pressures and also because they were dependent on their husbands for each and every thing. 

Although the social stigma is still there, the scene has completely changed over the years, as these women don't give a damn. They are self-dependent and can now afford to live on their own terms. Besides, men have refused to change and are still the same narrow minded, opines Shalini. 

But on the flip side Khursheed Kanga, a trans-personal psychotherapist, feels that being self-dependent is not the only reason for middle class women going in for divorce. I feel that women today are more ambitious and give more importance to their career. 

The prime example of this change is that no woman likes to get married without completing her studies. For them studies come first and everything later. One can call it the outcome of the western influence but there has been a continuous change in the Indian value system. 

Lawyer Shishir Bhatnagar says that nowadays it is mostly the women who approach lawyers for separation. Women today give due importance to their security, both social as well as financial, and also they are in no mood to handle any kind of pressures from their in-laws or husband. 

Most of them are independent and like to live a peaceful life and because of this if anything goes wrong in their married life they don't give a second thought and file for a divorce, avers Bhatnagar. 

 

https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/lucknow-times/Bitter-halves-are-better-off-on-their-own/articleshow/2272195.cms



Learning

 9 Replies


(Guest)

yes.Defective parts of d life should be cut away.Being concern for career is not an offence when they dont get monetary help in disputed marriage for having some degree.Women get engaged for kids but they are expected to work like a man who can keep themselves 100% free from responsibilities of kids which a woman cant do.

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     12 September 2011

this article is somewhat misleading in certain ways.it talks about justa small %age of women who are so independent minded that they dont mind breaking a marriage for the sake of career.

 

however,not all women,even metro women are like that.

 

this independent mindset largely depends on their family upbringing and their own nature.

 

by and large,no woman(or even man) who's emotional will like to break his marriage,even if his partner has many flaws.if he truly loves him.

 

i still believe "divorce" is the worst thing to happen..

 


(Guest)

 

i still believe "divorce" is the worst thing to happen..

 

I too believe so if children are there out of that wedlock.

Otherwise better to separate than fights.

Saurabh..V (Law Consultant)     12 September 2011

@Roshni

 

Did you happened to see @Princess's advice of not posting news in forums?

 

May be you are not in tune with her. When you said who uses provoking language early then she proved you wrong and when she said who posts news then you proved her wrong.

 

Well I don't know who is right or wrong, but one thing is very clear you guys just don't like me replying to your posts may be due a lot of reasons. But if it is so, let me know. I'm very open to refraining from replying to your posts but I'm no coward too, to sit quietly when anyone attacks me personally.

 

One amazing finding from this post is that after posting this, you yourself felt that this survery is misleading and not upto the mark. Yet you posted it :) .. I just want to say - Good going ! I need not say those words again which I wrote for your posts and why I'm against such posts !!

 

//peace

/Saurabh..V

1 Like

(Guest)
@Saurabh You have become obsessed with Roshni's posts. 24/7 you're thinking about what she posts. Please show yourself to a good doctor & get well soon..

Ravinder Kumar (Account Director)     12 September 2011

If I am not wrong than,

I know this Shweta personally (Shweta is nt her real name) and I absolutely knw what she means by free bird.. party out evry alternate night, get drunk and hav 3-4 month duration affairs along with couple of one night stand every month..

We were a group of 10 friends who have now stopped any contact with this girl...

And if this is the life she always wanted than why the F* she ever married..

And her husband though was into drugs actually left it for 6-7 months aftr marriage, but started again due to her behaviour towards him and his family... He belonged to a very  respected family with top contacts in Indian politics (almost 50% cabinet ministers attended their marriage) and she is from a very modest family, the guy fell in love with her for her looks and proposed her for marriage within a year.

They use to live in big Bunglow at Aunrangzeb road and her husband even after knowing abt her habits gave lot of time for her get setlle down in marriage however she just did nt wanted this life and after 3 years (it is nt one year) filed for divorce.

There is one good thing thou, that she did nt asked for any money or filed any fase cases against him.

Saurabh..V (Law Consultant)     12 September 2011

@Princess

 

@Saurabh You have become obsessed with Roshni's posts. 24/7 you're thinking about what she posts.

Wasn't it your own suggestion to not to post news/articles on Family Law ? Do you mean to say that you do not respect your own words? Do you mean that you only say and do what is instantly favourable for you and then you you go zip-zap-zoom like the dhoom (movie) thieves?

 

 Please show yourself to a good doctor & get well soon..

 

Again a personal remark. I don't think after this comment I should refrain from responding in a language which people like you understand. I have been very polite and have shown great honor in my last few days post. I even went to the level of confirming that I would not post such articles on this forum provided @Roshni also stops. But really you are not worth it. First you insulted @Roshni by using provocative language and this time @Roshni insulted you by posting something which you asked not to post!!

 

Now mend your ways and never ever talk non-sense against me, else I would be forced to report your matter to @Admin. You have been fooling around this forum without even 1% knowledge about law and still in place of collecting knowledge you spend time in insulting the law fraternity. This might be your attitude but this will not be tolerated from now on !

 

You have no knowledge at all about law and you are here to fill your hatred amongst other females and always fight with those who talk against you. I wonder how people who live or work near you tolerate a psychotic human like to.

 

//peace

/Saurabh..V

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     13 September 2011

@ Saurabh

 

I;m not bound to follow princess.

 

By the way,who are you to order me around?


(Guest)
  • Some useless articles posted by men in family forum ,where Saurabh participated with interest.

 

He did not question these men why they posted these articles that are completely unrelated to family law.

 

On the other hand he wants Roshni & other females to stop posting just anything in family forums,even legal news.This shows his hatred towards women and how much he wants to control them.

 

 

https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/Re-Indian-married-men-are-depressed-and-having-suicidal-thought-43438.asp

 

POSTED ON 4th Sep'11.

Please note,Saurabh APPRECIATED IT just yesterday.

 

However,since the past 1-2 weeks, he's been asking Roshni to stop posting newspaper articles.But this newspaper article which was posted this week only is also unrelated to family law.

 

But we all know Saurabh will not object to this because it's posted by a MALE.

 

If Roshni or I had posted something like "WOMEN are depressed and having suicidal thoughts",then you members can very well guess seen Saurabh's reaction !!!

 

 

https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/Re-Woman-does-unthinkable-42142.asp

 

Again the same writer posted another rape NEWS which was more suited for criminal law section.But again Saurabh does not object to this news.Rather he's persoanlly attacking Utpala here.His very first reply in this thread shows his quarrelling.

 

Now if Roshni or I had posted a similar rape news where a man had raped,you can v.well guess Saurabh's response.:)

 

 

BTW-I can't control Roshni.It's upto her.I can only suggest.

 


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