Arranged Marriage-Whether stigma to life?

In many cases,these inlaws start to interfere in the nelwy married child's life.Mother inlaws fear the bahu..They do not wish to lose the son.

So after the beta-bahu return from their honeymoon and are still in a romantic mood,the inlaws start creating dramas,over petty issues,instigating the son against wife,and even his inlaws.

This nonsense makes the son also start hating the wife and his family.

Please read:

This nonsense makes the son also start hating the wife and his family.

AS

And when the wife is the only child to her parents she start making all efforts to isolate the husband from his parents and her parents too use all the tactics for the same.

And after some time she feels that this is not happening she takes the worst step and leave the husband thinking that when he will come back to take her she will blackmail him with her demand of leaving the parents. And if the best time for her is during her pregnancy beacuse she and her parents know that this is the time when husband wants to stay with her for every moment and later wfter the kid they use his biggest weekness as their strongest weapon.

Though there may be no cruelty of any form from the husbands family side to the wife but she just wants a family which have her parents, herself and the husband. 

I hope someday women understand that husband always love his in-laws but only because of his nature he do not express it. 

All this fight of ego and supremecy/control destroy marriage and ruin the life of kids. 

If you take my view, than I surely have lost faith in arrange marriage.

If you ever notice in a workplace,joint family,etc wherever there are groups of people living/working together,if 1 person is cunning,arrogant,selfish,harsh,BUT powerful,influential etc,people flock to him,make him like their leader,and follow what he tells them.

In fact all that he says about other people whom he envies or hates is blindly believed by these foolish followers.Such people make good politicians.

Same thing happens in a family.

If the wife is really cunning,extortionist,clever etc which the men say,she will succeed in turning her husband,his relatives,her kids and in fact just everyone against inlaws.She will succeed in turning the husband into her favour,or better still,succeed in making a slave of him.Such wives will even send the inlaws in an old aged home.

Same goes for mother inlaw.If she is cunning,clever,dominating,liar type,etc. generally Indian mentality is such that her son,relatives,other daughter inlaws,etc will believe whatever she says/does.So all these people will gang up against the daughter inlaw whom she hates,if,by chance,she is a simple person.

Hardly you will find a cunning and clever person being left alone,after being boycotted by society,as he will have many blind believers and followers.

So I often wonder why the men say that their clever,cunning,greedy,etc wives have been harassing the family.In other words this man,his parents and all relatives whom she is supposed to be "harassing" have actually turned against her.

So is she really a clever person?Or a victim of politics by inlaws,who successfully blinded the husband and their own relatives into believing that she is an abusive lady?

If she was a vamp really,would she not have successfully made the entire society gang up against these inlaws and boycott them?

Generally simple,honest and straightforward people are thrown out of matrimonial homes and have the entire sasural and even their neighbours turn against her.

So who is the real politician?

The one who has been boycotted by all,or the one who is making everyone belive,including the husband what a cunning and extortionist type wife this woman is!

So men,just think about it.You often need to observe with OPEN EYES,who actually the real politician is!

No need to take it personally.

But think over!

@ Princess: Ya I agree with your point,  but trust me men understand every thing and are considerate..however I also acknowledge that many times mother in law (saas) plays tantrums which ruin the relation between husband n wife..

But with time things are changing, not many joint families are left, husband & wife start living separetly immediatly after the marriage and only visits parents once or twice in a month/year..Now if wife still have issues with that than what will husband do? He is stuck between the one who gave him life and another one with whom he has to spend his whole life..

Thanks for the agreement.Otherwise I was expecting brickbats here!

Anyways,I am sorry to say NOT ALL MEN are so observant.They are usually outside home,when these politics and ganging up are happening inside the 4 walls of the house..When this man returns,he is affected by wife's bad mood but his mother's cool mood.Such a tired man will immediately feel his sulking wife is harassing the mother.

Also,playing politics does not require a joint family.People can do it through telephone,e-mails,personally meeting to backbite someone,etc.Otherwise how do these politicians get votes?They do not live with the voters.

You know attracting a whole lot of stupid followers also requires an art of persuading and convincing people,a bit of cunningness,shrewdness and SELFISHNESS also.If you are too kind hearted,gentle,brutally honest,etc.believe me,no one will come to your aid when a politician is turning people against you.Atleast not in this Kaliyug.

This is what happens in families,schools,colleges,workplaces etc wherever there are groups of people.The honest man will be easily thrown out of job,but loud mouthed,arrogant,people will be retained,rather promoted.Beacuse all the stupid employees have got attracted to his power.

Also a very honest person who's been harassed due to such politics will always be too straightfiorward,that you will find he often feels hatred for the politician,complains often about him and wants you to pay attention to the "problem" he is facing with the politician,& cry or fight with you as you are supporting that person.While the politician who's getting so much support and "chamchas" will usually sound very cool,relaxed,always giggling(common in a shrewd women)etc.

So one needs to be extra alert,and if need be,record the conversations b/w the hassled victim and the politician,whenever he is out at work.

I personally know of a man's case who never trusted his ever fighting,sulking wife who was such a victim of his always relaxed,cool, yet "harassed by wife" mum.

After much insistence,he installed a hidden camera one day before going to work to find out what exactly happens in the house behind him.

He recorded for many days.Finally after 1 week,he saw the entire film & was surprised to see his relaxed,cool mum acting like a terrible,terrorising bully to his wife

Now he got the surity that his ever smiling mum was really torturing the wife,coz of which she was losing her mental balance and therefore always fighting.

A week later,the man moved out with his wife,and now they live happily..

Living separaetly will get rid of all the problems but it is not possible for every couples living in expensive city

should man leave parent only for a girl? is this the value he learned form family, society, school etc? and that outsider girl is encourging this !!!! it is certain that selfish girl will surly ditch boy when needed because she is outsider  unlike his mother- father-sister.

see where these girls are leading our family and country ultimately?

just for her own selfish sake.

Parents should not become uninvited judges of problems of their daughter, as it become an obstacle in the daughter's married life, plant thoughts in her mind and gain control over her and promote disharmony in her family life, it should not mean day-to-day monitoring of the affairs taking place at the matrimonial home of the daughter and son in law life, which will puts the fire and have fuelled with cruelty, fanned and destroyed..

Soory for interrupting you,. I want to add that women too leave her parents after marraiage......

Debashis88

Banana Master 

 

Lastly,you have written "BANANA MASTER" in your proifile?What is your intention of using this name?Can you explain please?

You talk of sanskras in a wife,but you are just the opposite of "decency.If you have any "sanskars" left in you,kindlly change this cheap name into something that shows your own sanskars and decency..
 

See I can counter reply to all your points,but I don't have so much time.All I know is that you have become enraged,when you were shown the mirror about yourself and that you have extreme hatred for wives,but none for home breakers.

Bye!

So? They r taking revenge? since i leave my parents so boy must do so????????

less than 0.01% girls thinks this. Only miniscule percentage of family breakers are doing so.