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A husband has moral and legal duty to provide a decent maint

Page no : 2

hedevil hydraheaded (non professional )     10 November 2010

Agree with both Roshni Madam and Avnish Madam. Laton Ke Bhoot Lato se bhi nahin mante--a quotable expression! The wisdom of modern times encapsulated in the alteration of the age old proverb! 

Would your friend be able to produce evidence of her husband's illicit relations? Emotional abuse is so difficult to prove because most of the times, it is difficult to record too, even if someone has an intention to record.

In my opinion,  It is not a hard and fast rule that working women can't get maintenance. Your friend can prepare her argument and in my opinion she should fight for both her and her children's maintenance. Ask your friend to engage a women's rights conscious advocate who can interpret maintenance beyond the terms of destitution and starvation. So many things depend on how we interpret law and in what light we interpret the term maintenance. 

I would add to two of the items of  Tajobindia's list, which is quite comprehensive,   for items for child maintenance.

1) Transport for day to day's needs: shopping with your children, taking them out to libraries, eating out, and so on and so forth,

2) include in educational expenses the expenses of reference books, novels, fictions, magzines etc. which children would like to read and should read for a wholesome growth. 

One of my friend's sister  too is in a similar situation--more or less the same situation. 

hedevil hydraheaded (non professional )     10 November 2010

But your friend's husband may in all probability get transformed into Khomachewala, Rehadiwala, Chaiwala or any other thing wala, if he visits this  family forum! And we know the implications of it all !

sivani (engineer)     10 November 2010

@ Roshini B, which world are you in. "she'll get compensation for his emotional and mental abuse,maintenance for children+plus he'll be put to shame when his affairs are exposed in court".  Which world are you in. This is Indian System, it knows only of 'women's rights' only in paper and not in implementation.  First the wife goes through abuse at the hands of the husband and if she files DV she is seen as filing a 'false claim' who sees the husband as a 'free ATM' and what does the court do, give her pitance which is barely enough to sustain her let alone live a life she was accustomed to and that too she will have to go through great harrassment to get.  No doubt you hear of judgements that talk of 'life style she was accustomed to' but look at the judgements thereafter, getting a manintenace of Rs. 10,000/- is seen as a big thing when the husband is earning in crores.... Isn't that ironical to say the least.  What is the value of the pitance amount today that the courts dole out.  Even a servant earns more than 5,000/- in urban areas.


(Guest)

I want to add to my friends story that when she filed FIR two girls including the above mentioned mistress gave statement (Sec164) against him. One girl told that he propose her citeing that he is married with one child(elder one).The mistress told that she didn't know that he is married (telling lie).She admitted there that they had relations for almost five years.Both of them has no physical relation with him.But my friends has got some cancelled simcards where lots of s*x messages were there given from his mobile numbers.He admitted before lots of our friends that he would marry her.


(Guest)

thanks sivani for citing the point that Dv cases are often thought as fallse!

But being  a woman , and seeing my friend I do feel how much Indian woman is attached to her hubby and kids.Filing false case means breakdown of marriage.Why a woman if she has got a happy family will file case against her husband?I feel very sad when victim women are insulted like this.I have seen the tears of woman who is well educated ,beautiful and having good family back ground but  a victim of domestic violence she took the legal steps after trying and failing in all other ways.

These type of men are so cunning that can't bring in control without such steps.

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     10 November 2010

@ shivani

 

i understand wot u say...but filing a case is still better than not filing any case at all!

although u may disagree here,but a man goes thru a lot of shame when his affairs are exposed in court and when he's cross examined on this.

 

i know how the judiciary pisses u off.but no pain no gain...atleast something(pittance) is better than nothing.

although newspaper is flooded with cases where the wife gets pittance,u must have also read cases of DV in newspaper where the wife got a gud maintenance also,esp. when she had kids....they are the lucky gals...maybe the friend of utpala turns out to be lucky here..

so let her try if she wants to...otherwise if she wants to keep showing patience all her life,it's her choice..

2 Like

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     10 November 2010

 

 

 

Originally posted by :utpala kaur

"


@ tajobsindia

Why you felt that I AM A FAMINIST?
I have a friend who had a love and inter religion marriage.
Boy was an unemployed one.
My friend got a service in a Private school
But during this period her husband gave her support and so she bared everything silently.
After 9 years of happy marriage my friend came to know that her hubby had illicit relations with many other girls
The friend came to know all these after birth of the second daughter who is 19 months old now. My friend was helpless because she did not want to loose her hubby for kids' sake.
But her husband lied her again and kept continuing with the girl.
He promised that girl to marry her while during those days he maintained a very good relation with the wife.
When my friend again charged him why he is continuing with that girl he became angry and abandoned her with two girl child of those younger one was of 4 month of age.
He then started to keep relation with his mistress openly.
He earns a lot compared to his wife.
All his business was settled with his wifes' money.
Now he refuses to maintain them.
They are living separately for last 1 and half years. 
My friend lodged FIR against him where he was charged with  Sec 498A and Sec 497.
He has stopped all other facilities to his wife .
However my friend's elder daughter has very strong attachments with father for which my friend doesn’t want divorce.
She is in a rented house.
Her hubby pays the rent, he also pay school fees and the electricity bill.
But no other expenses he bears inspite of having strong financial condition.

"

 

Reading your previous messages I felt you are feminists. However that being (momentarily)besides the point my takes to your questions directed to me are;


1. Ask your friend to file DV Act on behalf of children for their maintenance as per my previous mail sub-paras (needs of children).


2. By filing 498a your friend has closed door for any re-union. Said it since you yourself wrote abv. that he maintained them nicely at one point of time but when confronted he not only left her but received 498a as gift !.


3. Give in visitation (supervised) of children to father.


4. If she can't sustain living standard due to price index then doors for change of circumstances under criminal maint. laws (S. 125 CrPC) are always open and unless one puts in a application and forces Judge to decide in 60 days how anyone can talk of pittance and blah blah as shared by post members.


5. If law (family) is so bad as you all (post members) say then what was the need of making so many Laws for wife only compared to not even a single law for a husband !


6. Legal Aid is always available if your friend can't meet prof. Advocate expenses. Com’n don't expect her to get delivery of justice sitting at her Home as third party discussion ways !


7. 9 - 10 years of marriage coupled with two minors and the man having so many illicit past and present and probably goign to have future affairs too and wife never got the wind of it, com’n do you want a prudent mind to believe it ! Truly she is a bala and for abla nari Law is fully there to support her in 60 days flat.


8. I stand by my abala statement above because; one he is found of mistress culture, second his doors for re-union are closed due to 498a coupled with his inherent fitarat and third he has been made what he is today with support of a women (wife) who kept quite to all his illicit relations so she should also file a Divorce case upon him now to close all marital ties otherwise she is encouraging the very root cause which he left her for except the child visitation as even a criminal gets visitation of their children till conviction is proved which is not the case at hand currently so to read down by your further message.


9. Like you say she has documents to prove 497 so he is probably going to be convicted of bigamy one day or the other dependent upon quality of evidences and passing such evidence (strength) test on the floor before the Bench. 498a essence I donot see much except some advocates haste intervention (advise) to ask your friend to file the same inspite of better Code /Act availability then, like you say it happened 1 – ½ yrs. back or so !.


I personally wish this friend of yours all the best without any cyanic and or unwarranted malice but as pure legal advice if such is the facts of the case and she will succeed but for god’s sake she should not expect justice home delivered is my blunt ending on this topic leaving aside that 4.5 Lac question of your very first post (page 1)
J

1 Like

(Guest)

thanks.........please go through my next two posts..

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     10 November 2010

Originally posted by :utpala kaur
"
thanks.........please go through my next two posts..
"

1. Yes, only after reading all posts I made above reply.


2, It does not affect me hearing same stuffs and simultaneously knowing well 2% of same class of wife's have filed on a drop of hat gender biased laws against their husbands. In India now the charm of keepign family harmony have been lost with pervading American culture (family breaking laws) believe it whether you like it or not.


3. She may follow posts advise of several members herein commented upon your built in questions to Ashutosh main thread.


4. Now, allow me to close reply to your this post as I am not interested for social netrworking or elasticating a un-tried issues of facts (third persons narrations herein) which is prevalent for both genders for independent prudent views whether you like it or not.  

Bhaskar for SOCIAL JUSTICE (Legal & Social Activist)     11 November 2010

 

 

Still laws and courts are favoring women and men’s are victims in the most of the matrimonial cases due to adverse law.

Today in India laws are favoring women’s only and they are taking it as ride and don’t try to adjust and just blame their in-laws and take divorce with heavy money or take maintenance and then again marry and again maintenance and alimony. All this is very serious and these laws are responsible for increase in divorce/maintenance cases.

The law must be amended so that maintenance can’t be claimed by wives as a matter of right in each and every case. There must be some minimum period like 5-10 years for which they have married and stayed with their husband then only they can go for this. It will reduce such cases and save marriages. Today wives are using these laws to black mail their husbands and in laws. It needs immediate curb to save families.

Many women’s have made it a profession they marry only to get maintenance and alimony and again remarry and do the same thing this must be stopped immediately by amending laws.

The main reason today for increase in number of cases is these laws which are favoring women. They are blackmailing their husbands and in-laws on small-small issues.

Maintenance and alimony should only be given if the girl is uneducated and has no other source of her or her parents etc. If she has income and her parents are also able to maintain her then she should not get anything because today marriages are breaking due to this reason also and parents of girl are favoring this as they know they will get easy money.

Moreover many women’s have made it a profession we have read news that many girls are coming to courts for divorce for 2nd and even 3rd times. If alimony and maintenance is banned in the 2nd and 3rd marriage then at least they will try to adjust in the 2nd or 3rd house otherwise every time they will take easy money and search for another guy to get more money.

The basic purpose of law should be to save the families and ban separation/divorce on small-small issues. To ensure the same law must be balanced one and should not favor anyone neither male nor female.

 

By giving maintenance easily to wife’s the law has opened new doors for increase in number of cases for separation and divorce.

 

The maintenance should be given only in deserving cases where wife has no mistake and she is being harassed by her in-laws etc. but it should not be given as a matter of right or routine.

 

Moreover maintenance and alimony should be banned in 2nd marriages if women has already got this in the first divorce , it will ensure that marriages are being done by wife’s also only for settlement and not for earning easy money.

MAINTENANCE AND ALIMONEY MUST BE BANNED ONCE A LADY GET IT IN FIRST DIVORCE AND HER CONSENT SHOULD ALSO NOT BE REQUIRED FOR DIVORCE.IT WILL SAVE THE FAMILIES AND REDUCE THE DIVORCE RATE.

I have certain suggestions to preserve families and to save them:

·          No maintenance till guilty is proved and if husband is ready to reconcile and bear all the expenses of wife and children if she re-joins him.

·          No maintenance  and alimony in the 2nd marriage if she has got it in the first divorce.

·          No maintenance if she can maintain her or her parents can maintain her and if husband is ready to take her back.

·          Compulsory mediation for avoiding long legal battle.

·          Law should be such that both husband and wife try to reconcile .

·          Law should not be favoring anyone to ensure that marriages are saved.

 

venkatkrishna (AGM)     11 November 2010

Hi......Members

Every one is talking  including  courts  that Husbands  moral  legal duties!!  Very interesting na!!

Why no one  discuss about  Wifes  moral and legal duties towares her husband !!  

 All  wifes are angels.!! and onlyl  husbands  are  cruel.  

Avnish Kaur (Consultant)     11 November 2010

agree sir

Arup (UNEMPLOYED)     11 November 2010

A husband has moral and legal duty to provide a decent maint


what is the duty of an wife in a marriage?

venkatkrishna (AGM)     11 November 2010

@ arup   if the argument  is   male and female  are  equal and  as per our traditions  " pati & patni"  50:50 the  all moral and legal  duties are also same with minor exceptions.


(Guest)

If the wife is thrown out of her matrimonial home,how can she perform her duty?

If the wife is beaten,abused and harassed for dowry every day,she hesitates to do anything good for her husband and inlaws,since hatred has cropped in.So how can she be expected to perform her duty?

When a guest comes to live with you,it is your duty to take care of his needs,as he is new.Similarly a newly wed wife is like a guest .She is not so conversant with all rituals and routine of the house.Is it not the duty of husband and inlaws to make her comfortable by being amicable so that she fits in the household easily?

But many "rag" her,take her agni pariksha by taunting,commenting on marriage arrangements.So for how long can she do her duties happily?

So her maintenance stands justified.


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