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vikram A (medical)     17 June 2012

Need help.

hi

iam a doctor by profession, i did my MBBS. i got married on 29/11/2009, she did her MA in hindi and MBA both in distant education. previously she used to work as hindi teacher. on 11/11/2010 we had a baby.

i dont know where to start....

struggle in my life started from day 3 of our married life. she started by saying that "i will die, if you dont listen and do as i say." i thought thats childish and convinced her not to say like that. after that after a month or two i shifted her to my work place. there we lived in a rental house. hmmm atleast 3-4 days in a week we had small fight, she used to get angry on simple simple things and used to say that i will commit suicide if you dont listen and do as i say. with that fear i dumped all the medicines i have in my house. she used to force me to bring whole salary and give it to her, even her parents also insisted on giving my salary to her. i repeatedly counselled her regarding this matter and made promise not to do such kind of things. after a month her mother came to our house, she suddenly started abusing my parents and me that we are not at all treating them well. she made a quarrel with me everytime when she comes to my house. out of eight months of our married life her mother came 3 times and made lot of hungama. in due course of time my wife became pregnant though i preffered not to have kids untill i get a PG seat but she refused and insisted on having kids, she refused s*x with a barrier method (condom) also. ok she concieved when she is 8 months of pregnancy my mother in law came to my house and had a bit gallata along with my wife and both of them went to their home. during the period we stayed together my wife used to get angry if i talk to my parents on phone so i used to talk to my parents when i was out of my home. during each quarrel they used to threaten me of police complaint.

when she went to her home, they used to make allegations that we had this marriage by cheating them, she and her parents used to force me to get the property of my father signed on my name, they also made allegations that i brought a girl and had s*x with her in front of her hmmmmmm. on 11/11/2010 we had a baby girl, for few days i stayed there with my baby, when i left back then again same story repeated. then finally i decided with a frustrated and broken heart and said that go on for a legal procedure and police complaint iam ready to face it. everytime they used to make discussion with my parents with new people from their side. anyhow i went through the hell. i have to see my baby when she was at the age of 10 months after she was born. her mother brought my baby on the plastic covers and their parents came to make a settlement but my father called his police friends and made compromise them and let her live with my parents. 

during that time she used to beat my baby (10 months) if she looks into mirror, she used to use abusive words to my kid. she used to hit her while bathing her, she used to hit her just because the baby is speaking the words da da da, but not amma (mother). such a cruel fellows. during the whole day she used stay on phone and leaving my baby on the corner of bed. my baby used to play on her own by crawling and hitting the wall and bed. one day while i was caring my daughter she came hit her forcefully just because i did not talked to his brother who came to my home. on that day i slapped her, that was the first time i hit her. after that she lived totally 2-3 months with my parents and left to her parents saying that her mother is having leg pains.

iam not at all interested in her and i want divorce from her and i need my daughter. it has been 18 months completed we living seperately. i think they are not willing to give a divorce.

in theses depressive days i thought having single life for rest of my life but few months back iam with a girl and i explained about my past and she accepted everything and she said she will accept my kid too. we do not have any physical relation. we want to marry each other.

1. is there any chance that we can get marry and have a happy life?

2. is there any chance that i can get back my baby?

to harrass me they wont give divorce. 



Learning

 16 Replies

vikram A (medical)     17 June 2012

if i marry the girl i love without divorce then its a crime. what if i and my GF go away and stay in other place where they cant find us?

dont know what to ask, my brain is heated up. need solution. 

they are cruel people that thing i know. previously they used to say we will throw the baby to you but now they are saying we wont give her to you.

aagggggg grrrr . 

kindly help guys. i earn 20K per month as duty doctor. i cant afford huge ammount as compensation.


(Guest)

i will call you a big fool, you just learned that marriage do not work, and you again thinking of getting married. don't do it sir. go for cohabitation agreement if you want to live with someone and wanna do childbearing or simply s*x agreement if you want only s*x. make sure agreement is tight and state all things clearly, take lawyer advise.

baby is gone :) haha. though you can get visitation. you may get success in getting custody of child, incase you allege you wife of being sick, mentally ill, she used too threat you of suicides, has 10-20 previous suicide attempts, has tried to kill you also, and you request court to not provide custody of child to such women, who may kill or harash the child. back this up with friends and family or your close people. neighbours can be a good help, if you get good one, and ready to say what you want them to say in the court. practise this drama infront of mirror first, you can shed tears in court too. the more real you look and the more allegations you put, more are chances of success. also you will get a chance to get custody of your child at age 5 of child, where child will decide it, but chances are very less for that, because kid must have been brainwashed by your wife in past 5 years already.

foolish people do marriage first and then cry.

your case is complex sir, file a divorce, and allege your wife : for allegation i said above, and back it up with friends and family, most important thing they and you should look real. if a magistrate see you smilling, and then putting allegation on your wife, i don't think he is gonna believe in you, so shed some tears, show some pain, scream in the court. good luck sir, lets hope you get success.

actually child is not much important nor is the wife, you can find another one, and nor you should feel attached to them. but the main thing is if you pay for child maintenance he is supposed to be with you only.


(Guest)

maintenance will be calculated like this. 
total income = wife income + husband income.
person with lower income will recieve maintenance as follows, maintenance recieved = 20-30% of total income - his own income.
eg husband has 20 k income and wife has no income. wife will get 4,000 to 6,000 maintenance as 20% to 30% of 20 k. she will continue to recieve this maintenance until she die, you die, you stop working, or she remarry.
note that she will not hold any right on your property or bank accounts and other assets, until you have made her authorized of that. 
also note that, your wife lawyer will suggest you wife to put dowry case on you, and ask for huge settlement like 10 lakh ,20 lakh ,50 lakh, because one time money this much is very good than 4k per month. so take quick action and start accumulating evidences to protect yourself.
further maintenance for child should be paid by you only to wife, till age 5 only, if your child select to stay with you. or till 18 years if he selects to stay with mother. note that 18 years age limit is going to rise to 21-25 in coming years.
if you really frustrated and want to take revenge, i suggest kill your wife brutally and make a video and post if online and surrender to police. trasfer you complete assets to your child and set a example in life against this sick women out there.

Anjuru Chandra Sekhar (Advocate )     17 June 2012

If the girl you had spoken to is not the wife of somebody (i.e. if she is unmarried girl) then it is not an offence under S.497 of IPC.  If you marry her, it will become an offense under S.494 of IPC.  No problem till you do not marry that girl.

Anjuru Chandra Sekhar (Advocate )     17 June 2012

@ aditya malik.

 

maintenance will be calculated like this. 
total income = wife income + husband income.
person with lower income will recieve maintenance as follows, maintenance recieved = 20-30% of total income - his own income.

 

Is this correct calculation?  I wish to know whether it is "his own income" or "the income of spouse earning less" in the above equation. (see the bold, italicised phrase above).


(Guest)

@

VIKRAM YOU DON'T KNOW THESE WOMEN. SEE YOUR LEGALLY WEDED WIFE IS DOING CRUELTY TO YOUR BABY. WHAT THE HELL THAT GF WILL DO. SHE MAY KILL YOUR BABY IF YOUMAY GET CUSTODY. DON'T EVER DO SECOND MARRIAGE AND LIVE YOUR REST LIFE ALONE BECAUSE YOUR WELFARE LIES IN REMAINING ALONE


(Guest)

@chandrasekhar

yes this is correct,more or less. though court can alter it little bit. it is written in my book. i am student in nlsiu, balngalore.
 "his income" means income of the person recieving maintenancne, and that means persons with comparitivility lower income to other person.


(Guest)

@shally, exactly dear. i think to launch a awareness community on facebook regarding this. will you help me.


(Guest)
My case is same but now today my wife is 1mnth pregnant.how can i abortion that. Wife is not ready.

(Guest)

@jaswant : sir i suggest you do a forcefull absorption. and you have all right to do such thing as she is still your wife. other wise you will have to pay maintenance to your wife + maintenance to a child who is no longer yours too. i suggest kill the child and you can do that. and next time don't do anything without a contract. 

vikram A (medical)     01 August 2012

thank you guys for your valuable replies.

i would like to know how i can have a peacefull marital life with the girl now in relation. as i can understand with the present situation my wife is not going to come forward for mutual consent divorce. can you guys help me out regarding this situation?

vikram A (medical)     06 May 2013

 

sir 

i thank you all for your valuable suggetions which you have given to me previously NEED HELP topic posted by me.

now i have come forward with new doubts and help from you people. iam doing my post graduation and iam thinking of further higher studies abroad and settling in abroad. my problem is passport which iam not having now. i have to apply for passport, iam separated but not divorced yet.

1.) will there be any problem in obtaining a passport by mentioning seperated but not divorced in passport application?

2.) if i go to other country will be any legal issues?

3.) if its like this for forever that my legally wed wife  not giving me divorce and iam not willing to live with her anymore then do i have to live each and every moment in fear that when is she going to file a case against me?

4.) is my life is over? cant i have a life as other normal people with a family? hmmm though she seems she will not give divorce to me.

 

kindly guide me.

thank you.

vikram A (medical)     06 May 2013

 

Originally posted by : vikram A

 

XXX i have to apply for passport, iam separated but not divorced yet.

1.) will there be any problem in obtaining a passport by mentioning seperated but not divorced in passport application?
Take: 
India Passport Act interpretations are very straight forward in reference to context. If you are not "officially" separated then don’t give wrong information to Passport Authorities. mention "Married" as it hardly matters if by act of omissions / commissions spouses are voluntarily living "separated". It will save you from possible future troubles if any with Authorities.

2.) if i go to other country will be any legal issues?
Take: If there are no travel restrictions imposed by Court of Law then jolly well travel to 
Antarctica. it is your fundamental right to Freedom granted by Constitution of India.

3.) if its like this for forever that my legally wed wife  not giving me divorce and iam not willing to live with her anymore then do i have to live each and every moment in fear that when is she going to file a case against me?
Take: Noted. No Law of land tells one to live in fear. You have low self confidence to tackle her in Court hence living in fear. The moment you rise your head all such fear will vanish is my view.

4.) is my life is over? cant i have a life as other normal people with a family? hmmm though she seems she will not give divorce to me.
Take: You are talking most of the time to yourself is my brief interpretation here. The moment you talk to your wife via Court you will know who is normal; she or you. Rise, awake and get over from such fears. Marriage is not prison and there is life beyond marriage too if one can subjectively handle the evolving situations of things called QUALITY OF MY LIFE. 


Reply given by TAJOBSINDIA.

vikram A (medical)     07 May 2013

Sir

today my dad got a notice to his office. there in that they are keeping false allegations 

1. i have slept with a girl in fron of her

2. i have beaten her badly 

3. i used to come daily in drunked state.

4. i have tortured her mentally and physically to bring her house in her name and bring money.

5. they decided themselves that i earn one lakh per month and i have to pay 25000/- permonth as maintenance. frankly speaking my salary is 19000/- per month.

6. they have never mentioned anything about divorce in that notice.

 

kindly help me out how to tackle this situation.


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