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Nandha (NIL)     23 May 2013

Wife puts condition to come back

Dear Experts,

 

Since my wife left alongwith our kid a year ago, I have been trying to bring her back with help of elders. But, she did not return, instead they approached police station for return of her old clothes. I informed the police officer that I would like her to come back. He advised me to go to my wife's place to bring her. Initially I was a little scared as they might put any false case against me. Then, I took two of her relatives with me to her house to bring her. She did not come, instead she put the following conditions:

 

1) to leave my aged mom behind and join her at her place ( i am the only son and I said it is not possible).

 

2) In the last one year, i changed job. She wants me to bring my original payslip and give it to her. Upon receiving the original payslip only, she will think of coming back.

 

I explained that i work on contract  part time basis and there is no payslip given. But, she did not listen and said to find a job where payslip is given and get the appointment order and show to her. Only then she will come!

 

I could sense something fishy because after taking the payslip, she will refuse to come back and will use it as evidence of my income to file for maintenance.

 

In case, if i find a job of lowincome and show the slip to her, she might refuse to join me stating that my income is low.

 

I do not know what to do!  Experts, please suggest!



Learning

 33 Replies

ashoksrivastava (scientist)     23 May 2013

Dear Nandha you should have sent some non relative to her place. instead of visiting yourself . Two of her relatives taken by you to her place are not likely to support you in court in the event of false case. Her preconditions are ominous. Make up your mind on what you want in this relation ship. Either file RCR or divorce immediately depending upon your prognosis of future possibilities. This will help you if yourwife files any cases which will be seen as a counter blast to your case. regards ASHOK

Rama chary Rachakonda (Secunderabad/Highcourt practice watsapp no.9989324294 )     23 May 2013

I think she is rightly pointed out. Why do not you try to get permanent job with clear appointment letter and regular service.


(Guest)

She has definitely consulted a lawyer who has asked for your payslips...Don`t ever give your payslip.Keep it at a friends` place even if she comes to live with you.

stanley (Freedom)     23 May 2013

She has consulted a lawyer and hence she wants your appointment letter or else your pay slip :-) 

The motive behind asking for your payslip is that shortly she would file for maintanence under crpc 125 or use the domestic violence act .;)

Adv Archana Deshmukh (Practicing Advocate)     23 May 2013

I concur with the opinion of red and stanley, this is something fishy and it seems like a mode of collecting evidence. Bcoz a wife who honestly wants to come back for cohabitation won't insist for payslip or appointment letter unless the husband has been grossly negligent and doesn't do any work to support the family.

Shantanu Wavhal (Worker)     23 May 2013

i came out of the wicked claws of a lady who was never satisfied, may whatever i do !!

u show her pay-slip - she will start another dispute.

u change job / abode ... dosent matter - she will be unsatisfied.

u get up early - she will frawn !

u get up late - she will be angry !!


i even changed the direction of my computer table on her instance; which was fix for last 14 years. still she quarreled.


let her life at parental home ...

dont start any litigation on ur own ...

let her start.

and u defend ...

chalne do

 

(PS : this is my personal experience - i m sure the author will concur with me)



Shantanu Wavhal (Worker)     23 May 2013

one day we went to garden

i was looking towards left.

She : us ladki ko ghoor rahe ho !

then i turned my face towards right

She : left wali se jee bhar gaya ??

then i started looking down

She : aab sharam aane lagi ??


Zak mari ... Garden dekha !!


(Guest)

If she wanted a permanent job husband, then she should have found one and married one.


She cannot put terms and conditions at least with regard to job.


It looks like she is trying to collect evidence as to where you work and how much you earn.


Even if she collects such evidence, it is of no use, as there is always a change in circumstance as you seem to have gone through a change of job.


Main thing required in marriage is not job, not money, but understanding.  When understanding is not there, what will she do with pay slip, make pickle out of it ..is it???

 

At the same time it is the duty of husband to ask her to come back, and assure her that everything best according to his capacity will  be provided, but inspite of providing all such facilities and if she wants a palace and is never satisfied, its better to part ways, as she should have chosen a sidarth mallya and not nandha.

Amit (NA)     23 May 2013

Why did she leave in the first place? Was it your job?

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Advocate)     23 May 2013

query of Amit has a relevance.

 

Generally such conditions of regular service and proof of steady income are expected where the marriage has taken place by groom side claiming before the bride side that boy is eacning "XYZ" wehre as he may be eaning much less./  (not a rare case).  You have so far not disclose what career propects of you were notified to them.

 

In case reconciliation takens place then remember that no friend is more trustworthy than a happy spouce and it will be highly objectionable to keep you income papers with any ABC.

 

Your case does not appear to be dead end.

Nandha (NIL)     23 May 2013

thanks all. I want to give my payslip so that her relatives realise that I respect her. I have already taken a low paying job (10k p.m). earlier (one year ago) I was working abroad and drawing 5 times more than now. if my wife goes for maintenance case, which salary will be considered by court?. she is a post graduate and was working before marriage and also after marriage but now sitting at home.

Nandha (NIL)     23 May 2013

thanks all. I want to give my payslip so that her relatives realise that I respect her. I have already taken a low paying job (10k p.m). earlier (one year ago) I was working abroad and drawing 5 times more than now. if my wife goes for maintenance case, which salary will be considered by court?. she is a post graduate and was working before marriage and also after marriage but now sitting at home.

Nandha (NIL)     23 May 2013

thanks all. I want to give my payslip so that her relatives realise that I respect her. I have already taken a low paying job (10k p.m). earlier (one year ago) I was working abroad and drawing 5 times more than now. if my wife goes for maintenance case, which salary will be considered by court?. she is a post graduate and was working before marriage and also after marriage but now sitting at home.

(Guest)

This kind of Emotional Black mail will not stop and she will put on conditions every now and the. and you will not be in a position to fullfill all those. 

 

if she is really intrested to live with u then she would not have put any conditions........ think over it.

Regards

satish


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