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Arunkumar R (Engineer)     27 April 2010

Threatened by the Bride's Family

Respected Sirs. I would like to bring to your notice the agony that we are facing for few weeks now. We belong to a middle class family and I got engaged to a girl from a middle class family as well. We got engaged in Sept 09 and the marriage was scheduled to happen on Apr 30 ' 10. Due to incompatibility between the two families over petty issues we decided to part especially with the girls brother-in-law ( Elder Sister's husband). After months of silence the brother-in-law has demanded  50000/- as compensation for the engagement ceremony that they had organised for the same ceremony we had gifted 18000/ worth Sari, 15000 worth of Jewels of Bride. We never intended to take back whatever we had given because we were hurt that marriage had come to a halt over petty issues and especially the adamance of the Brother-in-law( Bride's father is no more ) and he is the dominating person in the family.

1. We would still like to welcome the girl into her family but he makes sure that no one in the brides family is accessible by us.

2. He is demanding Rs 50000/- as compensation , we still dont know if the girls family Mother, Brother are in support of this.

3. He is threatening to sue us with defamation case to the tune of Rs 5 lacs, if we dont pay the money.

4. He is also threatening to file Dowry related Cases against us which foresee would be very damaging for a family of kind.

Sirs. pls advise us the way forward in this case, the brides brother-in-law looks like someone who will go to any distance just to satisfy his ego, do we take a defensive approach as the engagement has taken place and do a settlement or do we get offensive and take the legal steps first. I am even confused to place the right questions on this forum , kindly advise. The last thing I would want is anti dowry charges levelled against our family. where in I can vouch on God's name that the Dowry was never even mentioned in the complete discussions.



Learning

 6 Replies

Raj Kumar Makkad (Adv P & H High Court Chandigarh)     27 April 2010

In the light of given and untold facts, it is a fit matter to get it settled through nogotiation because if marriage takes place then also the brother in law of your proposed wife shall be a problamatic so it is better to leave such family and look forward towards the coming events.

 

Life is not a full stop.

1 Like

Raj Kumar Makkad (Adv P & H High Court Chandigarh)     27 April 2010

In the light of given and untold facts, it is a fit matter to get it settled through negotiation because if marriage takes place then also the brother in law of your proposed wife shall be a problematic so it is better to leave such family and look forward towards the coming events.

 

Life is not a full stop.

1 Like

jyotirmaya behera (advocate)     28 April 2010

before marriage they given a lot of tension but what ll happen after marriage..1st you think .

its batter to reject thats family. brother in law want to dominat to your family also. life is like as railway station every train pass though that station. if you live other family ll come to give there gals. if a man live happy life tn his /her human birth ll be sucess.

 

 

best of luck for your marriage


(Guest)

Arunkumar,

Do not think of marrying this girl under any pressure. Leave this family. Now regarding the Brother in law's (BIL) threats -

Lodge a NC (non congnizable) report in your local police station and mention that you fear false dowry cases from this person (name of BIL). Marriage can not take place due to certain issues.

Then get a mediator and talk to the mother of the girl. Negotiate on the amount. Give that amount and live peacefully. I am suggesting you to pay just to be sure that they do not harrass you in future.

Start looking for another match.

Arunkumar R (Engineer)     24 June 2010

Dear Friends, I would like to Thank You all for valuable guidane and suggestions. We have paid out the money demanded by the Bride's family and we sorted out the issue. This was however not so easy as we went through painful moments all along.

The only thing I could observe is from my discussions with the legal experts ( forums included ) is that the laws so skewed in favor of Girl/Bride's side even before marriage once we enter into a wedding arrangement. I am only anxious and wish things dont go wrong post marriage with the new alliances

RAKHI BUDHIRAJA ADVOCATE (LAWYER AT BUDHIRAJA & ASSOCIATES SUPREME COURT OF INDIA)     25 June 2010

Dear Author,

I do agree with Mr. COOL.


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