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geeta (chief accountant)     24 December 2011

The woman

 

The Woman

When God created woman he was working later on the 6th day.

An angel came by and said: "Why spend so much time on that one?"

And the Lord answered:

"Have you seen all the specifications I have to meet to shape her? She must be washable, but not made of plastic, have more than 200 moving parts which all must be replaceable and she must function on all kinds of food, she must be able to embrace several kids at the same time, give a hug that can heal anything from a bruised knee to a broken heart and she must do all this with only two hands."

The angel was impressed. "Just two hands...impossible! And this is the standard model? Too much work for one day...wait until tomorrow and then complete her."

"I will not", said the Lord. "I am so close to completing this creation, which will be the favorite of my heart. She cures herself when sick and she can work 18 hours a day."

The angel came nearer and touched the woman. "But you have made her so soft, Lord."

"She is soft", said the Lord, "But I have also made her strong. You can't imagine what she can endure and overcome."

"Can she think?" the angel asked.

The Lord answered: "Not only can she think, she can reason and negotiate."

The angel touched the woman's cheek. "Lord, it seems this creation is leaking! You have put too many burdens on her."

"She is not leaking...it's a tear" the Lord corrected the angel.

"What's it for?" asked the angel.

And the Lord said, "Tears are her way of expressing grief, her doubts, her love, her loneliness, her suffering and her pride."

This made a big impression on the angel; "Lord, you are genius. You thought of everything. The woman is indeed marvelous!"

"Indeed she is! Woman has strengths that amaze man. She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens. She holds happiness, love and opinions. She smiles when feeling like screaming. She sings when she feels like crying, cries when she is happy and laughs when she is afraid.

She fights for what she believes in. Stands up against injustice. She doesn't take "no" for an answer, when she can see a better solution. She gives herself so her family can thrive. She takes her friend to the doctor if she is afraid. Her love is unconditional.

She cries when her kids are victorious. She is happy when her friends do well. She is glad when she hears of a birth or a wedding. Her heart is broken when a next of kin or friend dies. But she finds the strength to get on with life. She knows that a kiss and a hug can heal a broken heart.

There is only one thing wrong with her…

"SHE FORGETS WHAT SHE IS WORTH."


Learning

 3 Replies

Zeeshan (Hidden)     24 December 2011

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God.

 

"Lord, I have a problem!" "What's the problem, Eve?"

 

"Lord, I know you created me and all of this beautiful garden and all of these amazing animals and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."

"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above. "Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."

"What's a man, Lord?" "Man will be a flawed creature, with many wreteched traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vainglorious; all in all, he'll give you a hard time.

But... he'll be bigger, stronger, and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly when he's aroused, but since you've been complaining, I'll make him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs.

He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart, so he'll also need your advice to think properly."

"Sounds wonderful!" says Eve, " but what's the catch, Lord?"

Well... you can have him on one condition."

"What's that, Lord?" "As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring... So you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. Just remember, it's our little secret... You know, woman to woman."


Since then woman are making use of man...

Zeeshan (Hidden)     24 December 2011

 

Money

A man will pay $10 for a $5 item he needs.

A woman will pay $5 for a $10 item that she doesn't need, because it's on sale.

Bathrooms

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, razor, shaving cream, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Motel 6.

The average number of items in a woman's bathroom is 328. The average man would not be able to identify most of them.

Arguments

Women always have the last word in an argument. Anything a man adds after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Cats

Women love cats.

Men may say they love cats, but when women are not looking, will men kick cats.

Future

A woman worries about the future -- until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future -- until he gets a wife.

Success

A successful man is one who makes more money than can be spent by his wife.

A successful woman is one who can find that a man.

Marriage

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

Dressing Up

A woman will dress up when she goes shopping, empties the garbage, answers the phone, waters the plants, gets the mail and reads a book.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

Natural

Men wake up looking as good as when they went to bed.

Women will somehow deteriorate during the night.

Children

A woman knows all about her children. She knows about their best friends, romances, secret hopes and dreams, favorite foods, fears and dental appointments.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Thought for the Day

Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people to remember the same thing.

Ranee....... (NA)     26 December 2011

poor Zeeshan..


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