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Satheesh (asd)     02 September 2009

Seeking a help to get divorce

Hi Sirs,

            Am seeking for a help to get a divorce from my first wife. we are living seperately for past 1/12 years. We are not in good terms either with both the families. In the past one year am so much frustrated with her and family. she only listen to her mom and not giving respect to any one in my family and always argue with me.  meantime i had decided to marry someone who understand my feeling and have a good compatibility with me. i spoke to my first wife regarding my divore in mutual consent. she is employed. My parents spoke to her to live with me leaving her job. but she is not ready for that. Then i went and spoke to her for divorce but again she refused and told that i will only listen to what my mom says.

In this situation am so confused. also i wanted to marry the one who loves me a lot and wanted to live with me. i know that its really very tuff to marry another gal when the first gal is not agree to give divorce. But i wasted my life more than a year asuming that everything will be set right. but now am totally in hatred with my first wife and wanted to marry the gal whom i love now. is there any ways that i can marry another gal without  the knowledge of my first wife?? if i marry and go away from my country not leaving a clue to my first wife, will that create any problems?? .....pls suggest me so that i live with peace.




 16 Replies

Rajendran Nallusamy (Advocate)     02 September 2009

Dont get married when your first marriage is not divorced. Dont ever think that you can escable from the crime. Surely you will land in trouble. 

Anjali (IT)     02 September 2009

Legally u can't marry without divorce decree. you can run , but can't hide. Later, for sure, you will end up with tons of troubles if married without divorce. It will affect your entire family , parents and siblings also. These days the laws in india protect women more than man.

Better convince your wife and go for mutual divorce. 


Thyagarajan (Property management)     02 September 2009

First draft a letter that that reads "As I am not happy with my husband's habits and behavier I have decided to live on my own away from my husband . As to how I am managing my food, clothing and shelter they are not of any concern of my husband any more Also I do not propose to claim any maintenance money from him and do not have any common conerns.I have any objection for him to legalise my drcision in these regars" Then send it by registerd post to your wife with a covering letterasking her to sign the  enclosed statement as above.

Thus you will be putting the blame on your wife. If no reply comes with in a month you can engage an advocate to file a petition for divorce. As other wise your firs wife will make life difficult for you.

Satheesh (asd)     02 September 2009


thanks for your time. Then what can i do to get a divorce. becos am damn sure she wont leave me to live in peace. she wont give me there any other ways to have a second life?


Or i have to live my whole life in this hell?? pls help me..advise me someway to get rid of this sick life.  Pls...

Thyagarajan (Property management)     02 September 2009

Dear Sir,

If you send  a notice as I said she has no option but to sign a separation and send you. The other option is she should come back and live you. For the present you send the notice and wait.. other steps will be told by your advocate.

Satheesh (asd)     17 September 2009

Hi Sir,


As per your suggestion i approached my ex for a counciling but she either accepted nor rejected. so i went to meet her in her home aong with her parents i directly spoke to them about my divorce.


They were not accepting for anything. neither for a mutual consent or for leaving her job and stay with me in my home. so i had decided to apply from my side. am not sure how many years it will take to get the divorce. I dont knwo how to apply initailly. please advice me.

I also wanted to know how much the divorce will cost. roughly any figures if anyone can give me then it would be of gr8 help to me.

If theres any otehr sugesstion from good herats pls .....feel free to write to me.


Thanks a lot.


postdivorce (none)     17 September 2009


please calm down firstly, in the court of law there is less help and more misleadings, please do a proper research before you head for any legal action wait for some time and monitor your own actions.

If you show to your wife or even your lawyer that you are frustrated and desperate for divorce, then gone you will never get what you want....

instead if your wife is not ready for divorce then please check my personal message to you


Thyagarajan (Property management)     17 September 2009

Dear Sir,

I see you are still keeping everything off record. As i fel you should send her  letter by registered post. After one month if you do not get reply you can consult your lawyer. Now-a-days way to approaching courts is made simple even without a lawyer. You had to search in google. I have done so to get to know details and iterpretation of every word, sentance of any act in all feilds of disputes that can be taken to courts.



Satheesh (asd)     17 September 2009






Thank you sir.




But i dint understand what person msg you talking about??





You yet to send me??

Satheesh (asd)     17 September 2009

Dear sir,


        As you said i asked her directly to sign of the paper with all the matters in it. But she is not ready to sign.


You still think that she will sign the paper, even after approaching her and her parents directly which doesnt worked out.


Am seriously fed up of asking them many times. thats why i thought of applying it once for all.



Pls advice if my approach is still wrong.


Thank you.

Thyagarajan (Property management)     17 September 2009

Dear Satheesh,

If you wish third party inervention you had to take the first step of sending your wife a letter and keep a copy. The courts do not act on spoken words or recorded phone coversations. The Judge may even go to the extent of asking you to show proof that you two are married.

Just send the letter. May be your wife will be knocking at your door realising you are building up a case.




Dear Author,

U can contact me in person. My number is -09871158578/09711364956

Satheesh (asd)     30 September 2009






Dear Thyagarajan sir,




Am going to send the letter to my ex first.




Do you Have any proper letter format?  or is any format will do ?






Pls advice.










Thyagarajan (Property management)     30 September 2009

Dear Sateesh,

I have not seen or heared of a divorce petition. All I know is if husband and wife agree on seperation they sign a declaration and both sign in front of a sub-registrar with at least one witness from either side. 

You can send her a letter stating that it is quite sometime that she has stayed out of your house without stating proper reasons. Also you write if she does not come and live with you with in a month's time, you will file a divorce petition in court.

You can consult an advocate who had filed divorce petition if you do not get any reply.





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