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Rose (tech support)     06 December 2011

Please help...i dont need divorce from my husband

Dear all,

 

My husband family conveyed that they want to go on mutual divorce.   But I dont need divorce and I want to live with him.  Please help to stay together.  We tried for a talk but they are not ready for it nor my husband is talking to me.  He is personally good only problem is his family members.  They interfere in all our personal matters and make small issues into big and my husband is so attached to them..but i dont want to leave him just for this reason.  I really want to live with my husband.  One of my cousin told me to approach protection officer.  My husband is returned from Canada for vacation and he will be leaving this month end.  He wants to escape before i react.  Please provide advise and also let me know what protection officer will do i give complaint and will there be chance to live together.



Learning

 25 Replies

Shantanu Wavhal (Worker)     06 December 2011

My husband family conveyed that they want to go on mutual divorce.   But I dont need divorce and I want to live with him.

dont be panic. its very difficult for them to get divorce. 

One of my cousin told me to approach protection officer. 

why protection officer ? have they done something seriously bad ? dont exaggerate petty things.

intervention of law = worsening matrimonial relations.

 

state ur facts clearly.

its for sure that u will get excellent experts' guidance at LCI.

Nadeem Qureshi (Advocate/ nadeemqureshi1@gmail.com)     07 December 2011

Dear Rose

no need to worry, in india divorce is not a Bread, its very dificulte & lenthy procces , you can file an application before PO, Under DV Act , first tell me you are live with her in present or not?

Rose (tech support)     07 December 2011

No, I am not livig with him for past 7 months now.  Now he is back to india for vacation and he is in his native place and i am at my parents place.   he iwll be leavin india in 3 weeks.  They did not even ready for a talk..simply they called us today and told they need mutual divorce and asked us to come to their place...which is 8 hours journey and they will find lawyer for divorce.

 

They know their son will leave canada in 3 weeks and how they will divorce in 3 weeks..they are all very education and served high post in govt.   Are they just used mutual divorce to threaten me...i am confused..

I am also not sure if approaching protection office at this point is good since i am not sure whether they want divorce really or just used that word to threaten me..  If they come for  a talk then they everythin will be smooth..but they are not ready..pls advice

Akash (Service)     07 December 2011

 

You are not going to muontain for pure water for drinking, you are not going to sea for salt to cook, you are not waiting for sun for light,  you are not asking god for permissin to kill one mosquito, so why law advocate to save your marriage life, by force you can not start a family, if love is there try to prove your love, he will return, if no love is there hire a advocate and try for divorce,

from your line it is not clear when did you marry and how  long you are living seperately,first try to talk to him, what is the issue, being close to parents is not bad, its showing his family value, try to involve in his family,

if nothing going ok hire a advocate and consult first and then only take decision for law  

raj malhotra (M.D)     07 December 2011

rose....

              FIRST OF ALL DONT PANIC...CALM DOWN..IT WILL HELP U TAKRE RIGHT DECISIONS...

DIVORCE CAN NOT HAPPEN IN 3 WEEKS....MUTUAL CONSENT DIVORCE AT LEAST REQUIRES TWO MOTIONS WHICH ARE SIX MONTHS APART..NOBODY CAN GRANT  U DIVORCE FORCIBLY...OK SO BE CALM..

U SEEM TO BE A NICE LADY...U LOVE UR HUSBAND AND TRYING TO SAVE UR MARRIAGE...AND UR HUSBAND IS ALSO GENUINELY GOOD AS U URSELF MENTIONED...SO THINK WHY THESE PROBLEM R HAPPENING AND TRY TO TREAT THE ROOT CAUSE...FIRST OF ALL DONT THINK THAT UR IN LAWS R UR ENEMY...U R A PART OF THEIR FAMILY NOW...U URSELF MENTIONED THT WHTEVR IS HAPPENING ITS JUST BECAUSE OF SMALL ISSUES...PLS DONT BRING UR EGO IN BETWEEN UR MARRIAGE...TRY TO ADJUST...AS I DONT KNOW WHY U R LIVING APART FROM UR HUSBAND FROM SUCH A LONG TIME BUT I THINK THT UR MARRIAGE IS QUITE YOUNG AND THESE MINOR ISSUES COMES UP IN EVERY HOME...SO TRY TO ADJUST AND GAIN CONFIDENCE OF UR IN LAWS AND HUSBAND...LEARN ACCEPTING MISTAKES..IT WILL HELP U ONLY...

GO TO UR IN LAWS WID UR PARENTS WITH OPEN AND HUMBLE HEART AND TRY TO SORT OUT ISSUES..EVRYTHING WILL BE FINE..DONT TRY TO PUT UNDUE PRESSURE ON UR IN LAWS AS IT WILL DAMAGE UR MARRIAGE...SEE BY TALKING AND KEEPING OPEN HEART EVERYTHING CAN BE SORTED OUT...BE CALM BE CONFIDENT,ACCEPT MISTAKES,TRY TO ADJUST,GIVE RESPECT AND SAVE UR MARRIAGE...ALL THE BEST.

Rose (tech support)     07 December 2011

I agree there was a mistake from my side as well by arguing small small things.  I dont have any ego now and I understood the value of life in these 7 months..I want to go his plae and ask apologize to him and his family but they are not ready for a talk or allowing my family to come to their place..

 

In this situation how can i save my marriage...i understand only if we talk to eachother problems will be solved but they are agreeing for that....they just need mutual divorce.

 

Being a well educated family, I am not sure how they can think mutual divorce will happen in 3 weeks since he is leaving abroad in 3 weeks.. or this is just a word used to threaten me.  pls advise

mahendrakumar (marketing)     07 December 2011

as rightly advised above,divorce cannot be done within 3 weeks.

Yours is the outcome of one of the major family issues in our country.wherein women after marriage become so possesive and want their husband to protect the "unilateral interest".


It seems that both of your places are quite far away as you are staying at a place needing 8 hours journey.


Do you have some common friends and relatives?  If so take the help of them for a mediation.


realising your mistakes is a good sign,eventhough a bit late. wishing you good luck.

 

adv. rajeev ( rajoo ) (practicing advocate)     07 December 2011

Because of interference of the parents you both have reached to divorce stage.  It requires good mediation.  If case is filed by either of you, it is better to refer the case to the mediation centre.  You will get the relief there with the help of experts.

Hari.R.S (Advocate)     07 December 2011

you can file a restitution of conjugal right petition before the family court/district court in your place. 

It is for  establishing your right to stay with your spouse.


(Guest)

Hi Rose , 

The best option is talking to your husband and apologize. As you say he is a good person i think he will give you a second chance he will agree to what you have to say. . Dont go in for all this stuff like filing domestic violence case and asking for protection order  . These things will only break your marriage . 

DEFENSE ADVOCATE.-firmaction@g (POWER OF DEFENSE IS IMMENSE )     07 December 2011

when you want to live together set aside ego and talk , settle. No body ultimately wins in separation .

PARDEEP KUMAR (Practicing Advocate)     07 December 2011

Dear Rose,

I agree with Amit, in case you or your husband wish to go for litigation, there are plenty of options, going by name if you are a christian, the proceedings shall be governed by section 125 of Cr. P.C. or special marriage act, or Domestic Violance Act, and in case both the parties are Hindu, then by Hindu marriage Act,1955.  However, under any provision, the course is not a short time affairs, Divorce is generally discouraged, there are plenty of options viz. conciliation, counsling etc., etc., you need not to do anything but to try to have discussion/talk with your in laws, firstly with your husband.  in case they don't and approach court, under that circumstances they must have to talk to you, if not alone then before counselors

So don't worry, everything would be fine.

sanjay Upadhyay (proprietor)     07 December 2011

Rose dont be panic and dont take any unwanted steps such as reporting to protection officer this may creat ground for them to go in cruelty just try to be cool and calm and take your elders into confidence and first of all u need to know that for divorce by mutaul conset at least 0ne years sepration is must as u siad its only seven months and if ur conseting also than also you can go to counseller and before the judge you tell that you dont want divorce and you love your husband and in family court and district court they first try to explain you and keep both of you united unless both are agree no divirce by mutual consent is granted after presenting the case court is garnting time to rethink about the disulution of marrige andif you refuce no court can ask you forcibly to grant divorce. so dont be panic and live calmly and try to resort all the dispute and misunderstanding by peacefully meeting and explaining the fact.
 

B.N.Rajamohamed (advocate / commissioner of oaths)     07 December 2011

Madam,

You file a petition seeking restitution of conjugal rights before the family court or your jurisdictional subordinate court as a emergent petition. THis is the first legal step you are entitiled to approach your husband politely. If you move the protection officer it will make a criminal case that will be a good ground for divorce in view of the latest ruling of the supremem court of india.Work out the rememdy through the Hindu Marriage Act or your personal laws.  


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