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S.B _Kolkata (Service)     04 March 2011

RCR or Divorce?

Dear All Advisor.

I got married in June 2008 and stayed 01 year with my wife but separated from my parents. I have only daughter of 1.5 years old and since from the last 1.9 years they are willingly staying at her parent's house. Already she has started to accused us by sending false fabricated sms. After our several request she doesn't want to come back and stay at her matrimonial house.

Her parents are also very keen to be isolated me from my parentsa as their greedy daughter wants to be. During our togather stay it was carefully observed by me that she is not fit for family life in every ways and means. How ever as on today my basic aim is to save my old poor parents from any kind of harasment by the gender biased law. And also to get rid of this relationship. But I'll have to loose my daughter and that is my only weakness. Please advise me that how to get start fight with them. Though every month I am sending her money, sent her 03 nos letter with AD for her comeback, but they are here only to extort money from us. What are the step to be taken immediately, please advise....

 9 Replies

N.K.Assumi (Advocate)     04 March 2011

Go for RCR, if she refused the natural consequences will be Divorce and show to the court that your wife  left the matrimonial home on her own accord.

S.B _Kolkata (Service)     05 March 2011

Thanks u a lot. Can anybody says about the status of amendment of 498a law?? I am waiting for the same. Now my wife and her mother have started to perform in various TV show. How will I encash the situation, please advise. (def)     06 March 2011

"Now my wife and her mother have started to perform in various TV show"

It does not matter at all.

Rest, u are the best judge to the extent ur marriage is spoilt. But from ur posts it seems that ur wife is under the influnce of her parents. In that case, plz give life a chance at least for the sake of the liitle soul & file RCR. There u will have ample oportunity tofind out the ways out with ur wife to save the marriage.

S.B _Kolkata (Service)     06 March 2011

Dear All advisor,

I have already stopped to visit their house since from the last 1.5 years. My wife is still sending me various sms consist of demanding money for their maintanance.

I replied boldly that they need not to expect any paisa from me untill and unless they will stay with me togather along with my family. Now she has started to ask me to send her the birth certificate of my baby reason best known to them. I opposed to send it.

Neither she nor her parents have telephoned us since last 01 years. I am really in serious mental agony. And definitely I wants to be separated from her. Please advise me, what will be the right step to be taken immidiately???

A_man Fighting for Justice (Unemployed)     07 March 2011

For the sake of your daughter, I suggest give it a last shot before taking a hostile stance. These litigations run for years and will levy intense financial and emotional trauma on you, your parents and daughter. Ask yourself - is this what you really want - spend rest of your life fighting your in-laws and spending a major portion of your earnings on legal expenses. Ask youself - is your marriage beyond repair or can still be fixed. Please do not take decisions out of impulsion.

Back to your query - Go for sec 9 (RCR) first. Always maintain that you were willing to stay with her. Later you can withdraw sec 9  and file for sec 13 (divorce). Do not forget to mention in sec 9 petition that your wife has been staying away from you for the past 1.5 years. Remember! the day they (your in-laws) receive even a single summon from the court be it pertaining to Sec9 or Sec 13, in all likelihood they would file a false 498a against your entire family. So avoid needling them. Anotherway is to file for a section 9 of the Hindu Marraige Act but do not let the summons reach her (Difficult but possible). Check what your lawyer thinks about it. Keep all the Sms you were referring to if possible in a soft copy. Make all the financial transactions (towrds your daughter/wife) either through cheque or online transfer. Bear in mind, its a war, if you fight it with a plan you will get all that you want - your daughter, parent's peace of mind and unconfined freedom for yourself. Read 'The Art of War' by Sun Tzu. Atlast, hire the best lawyer in your town. If unaffordable, go for alternatives with proven track record.

Best of Luck!

S.B _Kolkata (Service)     08 March 2011

Thanks u a lot

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     09 March 2011

Now, do some reading down fellow human beings;

Is there reasonable cause to justify the withdrawal of the wife from the matrimonial society of the husband?

Is he entitled to a decree for restitution of conjugal rights?

These are the most common simple questions to be decided by any Matrimonial Court in India. But these questions reveals the burdensome nature of adjudication of matrimonial causes. For the adjudicators also it is demanding, draining disappointing and frustrating too. The concerned Court feels that the endeavour to distinguish truth from perceptions of the parties in matrimonial causes is indeed challenging and difficult and more importantly perhaps, unnecessary and purposeless too.

The question still remains: Has not our society attained sufficient maturity to leave the matrimonial options safely in the hands of the individuals concerned? Should the system tax itself with the responsibility of attempting to make value judgments of right and wrong in matrimonial causes which are purely interpersonal?

Should spouses be compelled to spend long years in the corridors of matrimonial courts to liberate themselves from the `holy' knot which is giving them nothing but trauma and frustration?

Is it not time yet to have a healthy piece of modern matrimonial legislation that permits unwilling spouses to walk out with dignity as friends from a matrimony that he or she considers unworkable?

Will not stipulations of mandatory counselling and mandatory period of waiting and of legal mechanism to protect the financial interests of the economically fragile partner and children born in such matrimony better serve the interests of the society and justice?

These disturbing thoughts come to any concerned Courts mind again when they commence dictation at the end of a long exercise where they find themselves unable to persuade the couple to unite harmoniously or to part with dignity as friends.

Now think aloud how to play your matrimonial cards reasonably well within the ambit of gender laws of the land and exactly what you want of all these exercise of your mind, body and soul at the end of the Board.

Well, I am running short circuit now-a-days trying to decipher imaginarily each and every matrimonial enquiry herein hence above short message which you may like to unlike painfully.


Now all the best to each one of you…………………………..  

S.B _Kolkata (Service)     09 March 2011

Thanks, But not received any advise... please help me..

S.B _Kolkata (Service)     10 March 2011

At this stage can I apply for AB??

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