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san2214 (PM)     28 May 2010

Problem in Marriage life - morethan 3 years seperated - need





I am married since year 2000 and till date we always often have controversy and misunderstandings. I am desperately in need of love and peace of mind, she moved to her parents since 2006 and till now she is with them. I have asked her to come back and she keep on placing different conditions or rather constraints that need to be addressed by me.



First 2 years of my married life was with joint family and i promise there is no any harm been done to her by parents, she somehow didn’t like and i only had quarrel  with parents since wife is not interested living in join family. i then moved outside my family and was living outside for 6 years and still there is no understanding and she started dominating me on all cases she wanted her parents alone to visit us. We had several problems and i never did a harm to the trust of relationship. We had blessed with sweet baby after 3 years of marriage life and now she is 6 years old but both of them not with me and they are with her parents. 

Still i totally have no understanding with her and always we find problems in life. please guide me i have been waited enough and separated physically away from her for almost 4 years. I lost hope of living with her in this marriage life, all i am worried is for my daughter, i love her very much. Please guide i need a peaceful life and wanted to take divorce finally, but i am worried of my daughter. I want my daughter. i still feel for wife, but i cant suffer with her anymore.. but i need a life to live peacefully. please guide me, help me with your advice.


 12 Replies

Adv. Gulammayudin A. Gagdani (LEGAL ADVISOR)     28 May 2010

well first of all try to settle the issue ones again if possible with the help of family friends. if not then file a case of completing marriage rights under Hindu Marriage Act. then guide the case through mediation centre and most of the cases gets solved in mediation centre.


san2214 (PM)     28 May 2010

Thank you so much for your inputs, so far 3 times she called all family member to try to sort out the problems but since it was mind related issue between me and wife no improvements. i would now decide to move to next steps legally to proceed. i dont know whether what i doing is correct. but what will be impact of this, i need my daughter with me. she loves me too but just 6 years old. same affection she has got with mother also.  

wife is actually my relative my father's sister daughter - but before marriage for about 22 yrs or so two families had no connection at all, that also now affecting my relationship. i frustrated in this life. give me inputs, advice me. for more than 3 yrs i waited and now it is almost 4 yrs i cant loose my relationship i have my own feeling see dieing inside me.

san2214 (PM)     28 May 2010

for more than 3 yrs i waited and now it is almost 4 yrs i cant loose my relationship with my daughter i have my own feeling see dieing inside me. i need her with me. But she is minor, what are the legal impact on this?

Adv. Gulammayudin A. Gagdani (LEGAL ADVISOR)     28 May 2010

well then file a divorce case and then follow the process of mediation, as

mediator will also put his remarks on statements prepared by him and then it will be helpfull, to you in your case further.

now the issue arise even if you are successful in divorce case then,whether you will get child custody or not, contact your local advocate, for further action.


Adv. Gulammayudin A. Gagdani (LEGAL ADVISOR)     28 May 2010

legal impact will be as it is not easy to gain custody of minor child.

it is not that you cannot get the custody of your child, in case you did not get custody then you can meet her at any time as specified by law.

if in court baby or your daughter says i want to go with  father then you will be more succesful in gaining his custody.


san2214 (PM)     28 May 2010

Sir, thanks for the swift response, what does mediator do? is that mandatory to go through mediation? what are the factors required for child custody? my daughter would obviously prefer mom when it is mom or dad. cant help? is this mediator does these jobs interacting with me and her?

san2214 (PM)     28 May 2010

thanks sir, u answered my query.

Adv. Gulammayudin A. Gagdani (LEGAL ADVISOR)     28 May 2010

well in cases of divorce normally it is sent for mediation, mediator is nothing but an expert of resolving family disputes, he will try to resolve problems of both sides, by helping both the parties to arrive at a decision. whether they have decided should be gone for or not.It is just one of the way like out of court settlements


1 Like

san2214 (PM)     28 May 2010

ok sir, i understand. thanks for your inputs

Latika Singh (Legal Executive)     31 May 2010


In your case, first try to talk to your wife and ask her desire what she wants? If she also want divorce from you file case of mutually consent divorce and if she wants something else, try to sort out her problem. Secondly mentally prepare yourself that if you will not get custody of your choice, but you can visit her or meet her frequently, as you are her father. If she is just 6 yrs old, she need her mom too along with your love and affection. So try to settle thiscase outside court.


Pankaj Mehta (Advocate)     31 May 2010

well, in these circumstances u should be prepared first to face a series of upcoming litigations from ur wife if u choose to file petitions whether for restitution of conjugal rights or for getting separate, it doesn;t mean that u stop urself to get legal remedies, make urself mentally strong for court proceedings and then prefer to file a divorce petition under section 13, mainly stating ground of desertion. There is also a provision for claiming the custody of child under section 26 of Hindu marriage act. Procedure of mediation is mendatory in these proceedings, so if mediation succeeds ur purpose will be solved, and if fails then contest the petition through a good reputed civil lawyer. 

san2214 (PM)     17 June 2010

I am not interested to continue in this marriage life with her, I totally lost interest with her, i need a  legal  expert advice and a lawyer at chennai to proceed further with divorce. 

Kindly request you to suggest a lawyer.

I had  from this month stopped sending money for their support. i still feel for my kid and would like to do all proceedings as per law. So far it is because of my kid i send money every month. She is always taking advantage in favor of my child. Is that correct me stopped sending money? i want to proceed as per legal proceedings. please guide.

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