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Page no : 2

JusticeSeeker (Manager)     07 November 2010

Thanks Hedevil ji, yes your name did scare me a little but I know outer facades are never the key to inner self. I've sent you PM - plz check and reply.

Manjit ji - thanks for your concern. If you noticed I did not approach police till now. I wanted him to change and come back but he has sent derogatory letters in a postcard for all to see to my workplace. Luckily for me it did not get into the attention of others. He is trying every way possible to humiliate me now.
I'm not after any monetary gratification - because as I said earlier I earn well on my own. Neither me nor my parents wanted him to work for any monetary gain but only because it would give him a good standing among our family members as everyone is in a respectable job.

Avnish Kaur (Consultant)     07 November 2010

u can at most get divorce from him and maintenance for ur child. u can file divorce and pray maintenance for ur child. dv is not useful in this case, i am still waiting for renuka jis comments wat relief besides monetary compensation ( which is unlikely) she can claim in dv case?

chanakyam (Consultant)     07 November 2010

JNA, what is your guess, why your husband is behaving like that? what are his motives/demands?  There is something which is lying between both of you, which made you get apart.

What i see here is that, you are from rich fmaily than your husband and even your position in terms job and earnings are higher than your husband.  So there might be inferiority or superiority complexes between both of you and that lead to the current situation. If you feel or plan to live with him, the choice is yours to reconsite with better possibilities.  Or else if you apporach police and courts, i feel it does not fetch you anything expcept new tensions.  So if you dont want to live with him, other alternative would be try to settle it with Mutual consent divorce and not a good suggestion to file criminal cases.

hedevil hydraheaded (non professional )     07 November 2010

Sometimes rich and relatively better placed girls suffer for no fault of theirs. Each of their gesture would be branded as superiority complex.The inferiority complex in a man is very is like a Faansi ka fanda around a woman's neck. Such men become revengeful and would do anything to see their wives' spirits break....They will not be willing to go to councellors in most of cases....would get a sense of supreme gratification if wife is hurt and humiliated. 

chanakyam (Consultant)     07 November 2010


May not be right in all cases... even in some cases girls side try to dominate and try to control husband in every aspect or get seperated from husband relatives as the husband side relatives are of low cadre(economically)

Avnish Kaur (Consultant)     07 November 2010

wat she will get out of criminal cases, sit with his family try to reconcile . if no reconciliation possible go for MCD, yes ask him to give bak ur articles gold etc. else u may need to file criminal cases.

first arrange ameeting then decide wat u want from this relation. as dv and rcr will be useless as u said u dont want any finacial compensation from him.

JusticeSeeker (Manager)     07 November 2010

Thanks everyone for your kind responses. I'm now able to see things a little better with your help.


My 2 cents: Please do not brand every woman who is suffering from a bad marriage as her fault. For all you know you've never been in her shoes and never experienced what it is like to face atrocities from a male face to face. I agree some girls do take advantage of their husbands and law to get things twisted their way. But its not the case with everyone. Chanakya ji to answer your qn if I had superiority complex, I wouldnt have agreed to marry him in the first place. As I said before I've been brought up in a family where outward facades do not matter to us rather the inner is what counts. My brother is married too and we treat his wife as a member of our own family and she calls my parents mom & dad. So its not as if every girl is out to get something out of situations like this. Infact I stand to lose a lot of things and believe me its just an understatement. I've had mental abuse take strong hold of me which has totally drained me the zest for living life. However due to my recent gift of the new baby I try to endeavour to stay strong and I shall do so.


I consider this topic closed. I've had great opportunity with interacting with some great members here who I'll contact for anything else.


Admins you can close this thread.

hedevil hydraheaded (non professional )     08 November 2010


Yes, what you say also may be true. That's why I qualified my sentence which says   Sometimes. I did not make a general statement. 

My reply is to give respect to what you have said and to clarify what I have said.