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amararorapar (Architejsact)     01 February 2017

Please help ! urgent

I got married one year back. At the time of marriage i had told my wife and in laws that i am working in a XYZ company and will be coming out of it soon to do my own projects.Actually i was not working in XYZ company and i said lies to get married.I had taken 3 lakhs from my wife before marriage to lease out the house but later returned it when she fought and asked me to give her back. Now the house is leased in my money completely.  After marriage i could not get any projects so stayed back at home. My wife and in laws came to know the fact that i did not work in the company before marriage and started humiliating me calling me fraud. During this course even i did mistakes by hitting my wife which resulted in her arm to get fractured. she even attempted suicide. One day i had a  fight with her and she called the police and registered an FIR 498(A).She accused me of killing her which is false but yes i have hit her many times.Since i did not get bail i approached my in laws and wife and asked them to forgive me and compromise and promised them that i would henceforth do a job and take care of her. My father in law asked me to give in writing stating here after i will not indulge in violence and i wrote and gave. Further more my in laws asked me to shave my head in a temple and seek forgiveness although too humiliating i did that also. Later my wife and i approached high court and she submitted affidavit stating we would like to compromise and live together and hence would agree to quash the FIR. Subsequently FIR was quashed and judge in order stated in case i desert or repeat same offense the FIR will be revoked and on that condition the FIR is quashed. I messaged my wife to return home and she came back and started livng with me. In between again she started taunting me saying i am jobless and useless. In order to get over this, i told lies that i got a job and started going out everyday on the pretext of office.She kept asking me my company name and i did not tell her. She got angry for this and started a huge fight and threatened to re open the FIR. I am short tempered and i hit her twice again and she has a mark on her due to this. She too started beating me.She gets over angry and starts throwing things at home. one day when i was outside she called me and started fighting i told her that i would not come home because of her torture for which she threatened to commit suicide and sent me a video too where she is taking some 10 tablets and telling that i am responsible for her death.I got worried and rushed home but nothing had happened to her.Last week she found out that i had no job and there was no office also and started a huge fight i got upset and snatched the house key from her and sent her to her parents house. After she went there i have stopped contacting her because i dont need her in my life. Including her parents everyone call me fraud and fake person.So i dont want to live with her family. In the meantime ,on whatsapp she contacted me asking to take her back home and i replied that i would take her only if she bought her own flat. I asked her to get the money from her parents and give it to me and i will get her a flat so that she can live there but she refused. Now i asked her not to come back because i want to divorce her, she started fighting with me on whatsapp and threatened to reopen the FIR and said she will not waste money for divorce again. She is willing to give me divorce only if i give her the marriage expenses.I denied it because i had asked for a temple marriage and it was her family who wanted a grand marriage.Now my question is

1. My job details sent over mail to her father was wrong. Can they file a case on me ?
2. Can she re open/ revoke the FIR .What is the consequence of it ? Will they issue a arrest warrant against me?
3. I have sent her out of the house and currently i am absconding not living in the same house because i am afraid she can get police any time. What should i do?
4. How can i get divorce from her? i dont need her in my life. I dont want to give her any money.
5. Can i use that video which she sent to me to save my self?to prove she threatened me ?
6. She has whatsapp messages where i asked her to money for flat and give it to me. will that prove my intentions wrong?
7. Can they use my written letter given to her father to prove i did violence earlier?



Learning

 17 Replies


(Guest)
Originally posted by : amararorapar
I got married one year back. At the time of marriage i had told my wife and in laws that i am working in a XYZ company and will be coming out of it soon to do my own projects.Actually i was not working in XYZ company and i said lies to get married.I had taken 3 lakhs from my wife before marriage to lease out the house but later returned it when she fought and asked me to give her back. Now the house is leased in my money completely.  After marriage i could not get any projects so stayed back at home. My wife and in laws came to know the fact that i did not work in the company before marriage and started humiliating me calling me fraud. During this course even i did mistakes by hitting my wife which resulted in her arm to get fractured. she even attempted suicide. One day i had a  fight with her and she called the police and registered an FIR 498(A).She accused me of killing her which is false but yes i have hit her many times.Since i did not get bail i approached my in laws and wife and asked them to forgive me and compromise and promised them that i would henceforth do a job and take care of her. My father in law asked me to give in writing stating here after i will not indulge in violence and i wrote and gave. Further more my in laws asked me to shave my head in a temple and seek forgiveness although too humiliating i did that also. Later my wife and i approached high court and she submitted affidavit stating we would like to compromise and live together and hence would agree to quash the FIR. Subsequently FIR was quashed and judge in order stated in case i desert or repeat same offense the FIR will be revoked and on that condition the FIR is quashed. I messaged my wife to return home and she came back and started livng with me. In between again she started taunting me saying i am jobless and useless. In order to get over this, i told lies that i got a job and started going out everyday on the pretext of office.She kept asking me my company name and i did not tell her. She got angry for this and started a huge fight and threatened to re open the FIR. I am short tempered and i hit her twice again and she has a mark on her due to this. She too started beating me.She gets over angry and starts throwing things at home. one day when i was outside she called me and started fighting i told her that i would not come home because of her torture for which she threatened to commit suicide and sent me a video too where she is taking some 10 tablets and telling that i am responsible for her death.I got worried and rushed home but nothing had happened to her.Last week she found out that i had no job and there was no office also and started a huge fight i got upset and snatched the house key from her and sent her to her parents house. After she went there i have stopped contacting her because i dont need her in my life. Including her parents everyone call me fraud and fake person.So i dont want to live with her family. In the meantime ,on whatsapp she contacted me asking to take her back home and i replied that i would take her only if she bought her own flat. I asked her to get the money from her parents and give it to me and i will get her a flat so that she can live there but she refused. Now i asked her not to come back because i want to divorce her, she started fighting with me on whatsapp and threatened to reopen the FIR and said she will not waste money for divorce again. She is willing to give me divorce only if i give her the marriage expenses.I denied it because i had asked for a temple marriage and it was her family who wanted a grand marriage.Now my question is

1. My job details sent over mail to her father was wrong. Can they file a case on me ?
2. Can she re open/ revoke the FIR .What is the consequence of it ? Will they issue a arrest warrant against me?
3. I have sent her out of the house and currently i am absconding not living in the same house because i am afraid she can get police any time. What should i do?
4. How can i get divorce from her? i dont need her in my life. I dont want to give her any money.
5. Can i use that video which she sent to me to save my self?to prove she threatened me ?
6. She has whatsapp messages where i asked her to money for flat and give it to me. will that prove my intentions wrong?
7. Can they use my written letter given to her father to prove i did violence earlier?

With the kind of life you have lead till now, you dont need any advice.  I will just wait for few of the esteemed Advocates to reply to your query.  Then will put in a advice if I see that no one has advised you properly.

Kumar Doab (FIN)     01 February 2017

Your wife wants you to become responsible and start working and earning.

Become responsible.

 

 

aarjun vhajage (Lawyer)     01 February 2017

Find a lawyer and give him lots of fees and then he will advice you. 

A walk alone (-)     01 February 2017

You have done following blunder 1) give wrong information before marriage1) you beat her.2) your written letter given to her father 3) you asked her to get the money from her parents and give it to you and you will get her a flat. If she reopen case or file DV or fraud case on you no one can save you from jail. You will not get bail again. She already have evidence ( whatsapp messages , mail , her fracture report , your written letter ) against you. Try MCD otherwise divorce is very difficult to get. Best option give her the marriage expenses and go MCD. She only wants you to be responsible. Nothing wrong in that. Find some job and be responsible

amararorapar (Architejsact)     01 February 2017

But she kept threatening me that she will commit suicide. it was a torture for me . Can't i show that video to judge and save myself?


(Guest)
Originally posted by : amararorapar
But she kept threatening me that she will commit suicide. it was a torture for me . Can't i show that video to judge and save myself?

Helping Hand refrains himself from replying to your query, you can follow above advices if you want.

A walk alone (-)     01 February 2017

If you show video she can also prove with your message of asking her money that you torture her for money , her facture report , your own written letter , you beat her ,can also prove you torture her so much that she was helpless and suicide was last option for her. You can consult with that video to local lawyer. He can suggest you better .You have already done wrong.Best option give her the marriage expenses and go MCD. Otherwise person like you deserve to be in jail

Mukesh sharma (job )     02 February 2017

I agree with Kumar sir 

you need to become responsible and start work and spend happy marriage life with your wife hitting your wife that was not good 

 

Mohana Varma (FAMILY COUNSELOR WOMEN EMPOWERMENT TRAINING TECHNICAL CONSULTANT)     02 February 2017

To the narration made... All trouble is from your end that's initiated & maintained by you. How would the family run? Can't she stress you to do something? If you can't take the words from wife and in-laws... Why not prove them wrong by working or making money for self. By all means it's you the center of trouble and even now you are willing to increase the trouble. Your wife would be the happiest woman if she divorces... But she still seems to have some soft corner for you and a nut-shell like you is unable to understand that. If you really wanted to have a happy life... Start working with spirit within you ... And stay in touch with your wife and be patient until she builds faith in you. Nowhere you have a chance to force her. If you Can't keep up to yourself... Just stay away from her and let her live in peace.

Mohana Varma (FAMILY COUNSELOR WOMEN EMPOWERMENT TRAINING TECHNICAL CONSULTANT)     02 February 2017

To the narration made... All trouble is from your end that's initiated & maintained by you. How would the family run? Can't she stress you to do something? If you can't take the words from wife and in-laws... Why not prove them wrong by working or making money for self. By all means it's you the center of trouble and even now you are willing to increase the trouble. Your wife would be the happiest woman if she divorces... But she still seems to have some soft corner for you and a nut-shell like you is unable to understand that. If you really wanted to have a happy life... Start working with spirit within you ... And stay in touch with your wife and be patient until she builds faith in you. Nowhere you have a chance to force her. If you Can't keep up to yourself... Just stay away from her and let her live in peace.

Mohana Varma (FAMILY COUNSELOR WOMEN EMPOWERMENT TRAINING TECHNICAL CONSULTANT)     02 February 2017

To the narration made... All trouble is from your end that's initiated & maintained by you. How would the family run? Can't she stress you to do something? If you can't take the words from wife and in-laws... Why not prove them wrong by working or making money for self. By all means it's you the center of trouble and even now you are willing to increase the trouble. Your wife would be the happiest woman if she divorces... But she still seems to have some soft corner for you and a nut-shell like you is unable to understand that. If you really wanted to have a happy life... Start working with spirit within you ... And stay in touch with your wife and be patient until she builds faith in you. Nowhere you have a chance to force her. If you Can't keep up to yourself... Just stay away from her and let her live in peace.

Kumar Doab (FIN)     02 February 2017

Rest is upto you.

whatnot   02 February 2017

Get her pregnant.

Once baby is born all problems will be solved.

 

But on a serious note it is your inability to live peacefully in marital relationship that has ruined.

There is nothing wrong in she demanding you be respectable and find a job. You have gone back on your promise and in the process she feels you have cheated. She will be vindictive.

Find a job. Start new life. and slowly bring her back into your life.You may have lost all respect. So gaining same will be long process.

So alternatively, you can seek legal adivse . But which will also ruin you beyond repair.

 

You will face consequences of your action.. Time for another head shave.

Ganesh Nair (Employed)     02 February 2017

Hi,

So far I was under the impression that men from middle class status are decent and only the wife and her family are the real culprits. I think men like you are also  responsible for the plight of innocent husbands. See , even before marriage, they have given you such a huge amount, trusting. In spite of all you are hitting her also. It is perfectly ok that she and her family called you a fraud. You broke her arm, drove her to suicide. A perfect case of 498a and D V. I think your journey should be wherever law takes you. If you are really repenting, fall at her feet and be a responsible husband. But , if you are only writing all these because of prison bars, better go behind it. Don't spoil a good girls life anymore please.


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