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deepak (nothing)     20 May 2015

Parents have a say in marriage of their children

Hi, My son is 26 year old , and he wants to marry a lady ,who already has a son of 7 years old from her last "BOYFRIEND". Now he has done engagement with her in her house, with out informing me(his father) or my wife or his brother . Now i dont know what to do. i said choose between US(His family) or her family ,he choose her family and says that he will stay with her . Now i dont know legally what rights i have. Children's dont remember how much trouble parents go through to raise a child . please help !! i feel like dying ,because he is breaking my bonds ...

 13 Replies

saravanan s (legal advisor)     20 May 2015

you say she has got a child from her ex boyfriend...what does that she a divorcee,widow or anything like that..

deepak (nothing)     20 May 2015

Her ex boyfriend just ran out because of responsbility ,and that girl is christian so she didnt abort , we on other hand are hindus.

Advocate Ravinder (Advocate/Attorney)     20 May 2015

Infact, this is not a legal query.  This is your family problem.  We cannot decide about your personal family problems, as it is purely of your will and wish.  You have to decide.


In my view your son is wrong. My advise is to keep his family away from your family. And every now and then call them to your house as a guest. Other than this there is no other way left for you. For further doubts call me or 7893011777.

cherala mallikarjun dev (proprietor)     20 May 2015

it appears to be a personal family problem. But in fact, it is also a legal problem challanging the legal expaerts, whether they can provide any remedy to stop the boy from an unethical marraige binding. After all a parent sacrifices so much beyond money to bring out him an earning person. that will not make him to bound by the insructions of a parent. When a trade mark developed by a person gtives him a right if registered, why not for a parent? It is a universal question at legal fraternity


saravanan s (legal advisor)     20 May 2015

since both are majors there is no way that as a parent you can stop them from marrying.if possible try to do this before they get into marriage. engage a detective to find about the previous affair she had (whether she got married or simply stayed together with ex) that could give you a clue to bring your son in line.also tell him that you will disown him if he proceeds with the marriage

in case if you come to know that she is married earlier and without getting divorce from her ex if she marries again then it will render the marriage with your son void and also bigamy case can be initiated against her.

deepak (nothing)     21 May 2015

i have asked my son to choose between US and Her. But at present he is saying that he wants both. But i cant allow that. Is this possible that i dont give my son his certificate and just keep it with me ? Ask him to pay a lump slump figure for all that money we have spend on bring him up ? Is it possible to do anything like that ?


U have a right to bring them into this world, but U can't didcate their future. Once he is not in position to listen to the elders of the family,he has to learn  a lesson and hence leave him to his fate.(Though hard to digest as a parent)

deepak (nothing)     23 May 2015

As parents every one of us try to do everything possible to make their children’s life comfortable . After so much of hard work and time we put on them . we just hope that our children's will be there for us in our last days. But they don’t even think about us before taking such big decision’s. I don’t know where I went wrong in growing my son . I just want to teach my son a lesson ,for making me and my family to go through this all. And I need help in that.


A good person suffers initially but stays comfortable for the rest of his life, whereas a bad person though comfortable initially has to pay for his deeds for the rest of his life. I am not cursing UR son, but I think he will learn a lesson in times to come. leave it on the almighty for the future.

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Advocate)     24 May 2015

Mr. Deepak you are stretching this thread uselessly without understanding the legal implications and whether what say can be tenable in law. If you have brought up your children with hard work and hard earnings, you have not done any favor to them, it was your duty to do it so you have done it, every father has duty to raise his children, take care of them, there is no escape from it it in law. Now he is an adult, he has got full liberties and rights to choose his life, if he is choosing a wrong path you can only guide him to go in a right path, you cannot force your decision on him. At the maximum, you can decide to not to give away your own or self acquired property to him due to his this attitude. Your son is going to marry or live with a single woman and not somebody's wife hence there is nothing illegal about it. It may appear as wrong thing in the eyes of orthodox community/society which will neither allow somebody to live or to die. If your son is not listening to your words, just ignore it and look for your own life, you may stop all your relationship with him after this, decide.

Shantanu Wavhal (Worker)     24 May 2015

your son has chosen a wrong path.

let him go.

disown him before he gets married to that girl.



for the betterment of your son, the only thing you can advise him is - 

tell him to conduct the marriage ceremony as per Hindu rites. (NO SPECIAL MARRIAGE ACT - i.e. no court marriage)


Legally U cannot restrain him from getting married.Emotionally he is out of UR reach,hence better leave him to his fate.Ofcourse this act will not only haunt U throught UR life but also UR son's life.

Saurav (Engineer)     14 June 2015

Parents have rights to ADVICE, NURTURE, GUIDE and  but they cannot FORCE their kids to decide on whom they want to stay with.


It is the right of every adult to choose his/her own partner. It will be also unfair and morally/ethically wrong to disown him (In case you are planning for that).


My sincere advice to you is :-- Allow him to do what he wants. Looking at the character of the lady you have mentioned (7 year old kid etc etc).......I am sure that marriage which your son is planning on will not last long. 


That time he will come back to you (This time with full trust and loyalty for you). 



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