Need to lodge complaint against my husband. help urgently!

Dear Prasad,

I think every time you see a post from a wife or a woman you make lot of direct accusations as if you are the one against whom she is writing about..... or you know that wife or woman personally.

This is not the first time you are doing this....... I have seen few of your similar posts. 

Please refrain from doing this again and again..... 

Thanks

Jaya

Originally posted by : Prasad
	Hello Broken Hearted,   You seem to be good at "overhearing" others conversations and that may be the cause for all your issues.   If you love and trust your husband, why are you "overhearing" on just the 4th day of the marriage?   Many people do not even fully understand direct conversations. What if you have misunderstood of what you heard in your "overhearing"?   I read your whole narration many times. And here is my conclusion.    All you have stated here are absolute lies. You have not told even single truth.   May be you can try again to state the truth of what you really did or nor did that caused all this.   Then you may get some good guidance from this esteemed forum.   I am damn sure that you are lying because of the contradictions in your own statements.   First you said "I had taken a snapshot from his phone of a chat between him and a girl."   Then you said "I don't want to accuse him of adultery for it's a very serious allegation and I don't have enough evidence to prove it."     But, if all you have stated here are true, then do not waste time in 498a or in police station. https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/ahmedabad/Dont-rush-to-cops-over-trivial-marital-tiffs-HC/articleshow/44729807.cms     Like you, his mother and sister are women too. If you file any case on them, they can also file cases on you. https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/mumbai/Woman-too-can-take-daughter-in-law-to-court-under-Domestic-Violence-Act-HC/articleshow/43480213.cms     If you have some love and trust left on your husband, give it sometime and wait for a chance to pair up again. Use the help of your relatives and friends.     But if you have lost trust and love on your husband completely, then, talk to your husband and go for "mutual divorce". That is the fastest way to get relief. If they also want divorce, your job will be easier.   Else you will be roaming in courts and police station for many years and loose your respect and peace of mind.   If you waste time in 498a and have plans to remarry, no man will marry a "498a woman". Please think about future.

Some are genuine where husband has harassed and vice-versa.

Let members in LCI forum give their suggestions, but not judge the situation. Please refrain from using abusive language.

If you show one finger at other person, there are 3 fingers that are pointing towards you. Let’s not forget that.

Filing Cases such as 498a (Criminal Case which usually takes 5-8 years), DV and other cases will take lot of your time, energy and money ( Travel costs to court, Lawyer fees and so on), Health(Think about your Health going to court rooms for every 2 months or so on..) and mental peace.

If Money is Lost, Nothing is Lost.

It Health is Lost, Something is Lost.

If Character is Lost, Everything is Lost.

Hello Jaya,

Thank you for your feedback. I really appreciate it.

I take your feedback as feedback and not take it as a judgement or accusation on me.

And I never intend to accuse but do an attempt to bring out the contradictions in a query and seek clarification.

If we don't do that and believe the query as absolute truth, our suggestions and reply would mislead the one who raised the query.

I have got very very useful responses from this forum for all my queries. 

The creators of this platform are the great visionaries.

I take this opportunity to thank them for their vision.

They define this forum as "interactive platform for lawyers and Indian Public".

Lawyers look at a query in more of a legal angle and Indian public like me, look at it more in personal angle.

And that is very important. 

Pure legal angle will make people see mother as "mother-in-law" and bring law into family.

And that is not good for the health of our family system.

Honestly.... say what is your intenstion???? What you want???? destruction or construction???

Thank you so much for the support guys! Much appreciated.

At this point in time, I think I still want things to work out. I haven't taken any legal action yet, something is stopping me. But I have no idea how to take things forward. 

I do realise I cannot spend the rest of my life with an abuser. I feel it's mind v/s heart for me. Is there any way to make things work with such a person?

After reading your Post.

For Marriage to be successful, both have to cooperate.

Do you have Mutual Trust and Respect?

If you want to adjust, adjust with your husband, his family and go. How? It is through Love and affection. Prepare good food for him; take care of all day to day activities. Above all have Good S** with him. Give him the unconditional love, affection and it will return back.

Above all invite your Mother in Law and take her to shopping along with you. Do the best for him and his family because they are also now your family. Not but not least pray to God sincerely with Love and devotion.

They may think 101 things about you. But it is there problem. Do your duty as a wife, lover, and advisor.

But for this you should have enormous Patience, Tolerance and Forgiveness.

Acceptance forms the basis of any relationship. If they have any psychological issues or problems, take them to a doctor or to a marriage counselor.

Compromise is needed as long as self-respect, respect and some values are maintained.

Or

If you think enough is enough, I had enough abuse in my life, I have tolerated enough. My husband and in laws are useless people. Then just ask for MCD, clearly mention the terms and conditions. Get out of your marriage.

Please don’t involve councilor or any other people, when you agreed for marriage did you take the councilor’s opinion. It is your life. So you have to take the decision. There is no harm in asking for advice. But it is you who has to undergo. EGO gets hurt by bringing councilors and third party people.

Or

If you think they need to roam around courts, and then go for 498a, DV or what not. Then go to any lawyer and file the cases accordingly. Remember you have to go through courts and spend lot of your valuable time, money and energy.

What happens after divorce?

Divorce is not a social taboo any more. As mentioned by Helping Hand.

Loneliness is a big problem. If you want to get married again then you start looking for matches.

If you get MCD – people think of it and if everything goes well, if the other person and his family understand what you have gone through then they will accept, marriage, kids and all happies. But don’t know how much time it may take. First hand people are generally out of scope. Second marriage means the guy also is a divorcee or wife died with children. He also comes with a baggage(Family), his thoughts and actions, his behaviuour.

If you have filed for 498a (5-7 years) then many people think twice and nobody knows how it will go.

Some other thoughts. Not to hurt you. In general how things are going?

Divorcee is considered a second hand. In India it is like a big sin. You’re near and dear will talk about your divorce; they may not talk in front of you but will talk back of you. You will be a center of attraction for some time. As every news is a breaking in news in Indian channels and Gossips, False news travel faster than the good news. For some time they will talk and then NEW breaking news will come into picture. They will forget yours.

Of course time heals the problems.

Some People may show sympathy and pity on you. But they may take due advantage of your loneliness. Your parents should be strong and some friends who don’t judge you should be able to help you. If they are not there. You are all alone by yourself. Don’t care if someone talks about you.

You should try and start learning new hobbies and skills. Keep yourself motivated; achieve good things in your professional life. Courage should be there. Boredom and loneliness is a big thing. Volunteer for nonprofit organizations.

Some people are lucky in second marriage. If not then  third Marriage or Adopt some children and take care of them. I wish you Good Luck.

If you show 1 finger at others there are 3 fingers pointing towards you.

To criticize and giving advice is easy. But following is difficult.

To spend money is easy, but to earn money is difficult.

Live with dignity, self-respect and add value to your life.

I spent lot of time writing this (my 2 cents J ), Hope good things happen to you.

HEARTILY APPRECIABLE THOUGHTS OF SUPER HERO!!

 i never believe evn in a dream tht one can lie so openly w/o any fear which is difficult to digest even fr a patient of mad hosp.
carry on !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you "Financial Examiner" for giving me an insight into IPC. I shall be careful henceforth.

Thank you so much Super Hero. I really appreciate you pouring your heart out to help a stranger. 

All the specific things you mentioned, I have done each one of those. It all works for sometime and it's back to hell the moment something goes wrong. 

We again had a meeting with all the elders. He brought some people to support him - a media person, a political person and a couple relatives. By the end , they all felt he was wrong and immature and told him so to his face.

I think I'll ask for MCD.

Thank you once again!!! :)