LCI Learning

Share on Facebook

Share on Twitter

Share on LinkedIn

Share on Email

Share More

MK (Manager)     02 November 2009

need help - divorce


I am a manager in a reputed telecom firm. I am earning a pretty decent income.
I got engaged in Feb 2007 and got married in May 2007. It was an arranged marriage.
I was an assistant manager that time.
I was in a relationship earlier which my parents opposed and after a gap of an year, i got married.
After engagement, i told my past to my to-be-wife.
Before marriage, we had major argument considering family planning.
She wanted a child and was not ready for any family planning. Whereas i was with the opinion of waiting for about 2 years before having a child.
She agreed to wait.
Post marriage, she deliberately did not take any contraceptives even after consultation of gynecologist.
On the second day she reluctantly took emergency contraceptive pill.
I was forced to use protection.
We went to goa for honeymoon of 6 days. The first day itself she started quarrelling that we should not think about family planning and that she wanted a child.
on the third day her periods came. The honeymoon was a disaster for me.
All my hardwork at my office, prior to getting married had paid off and i was promoted as a Manager in July 07
That time she was working in a recruitment firm. She was earning Rs.5000 per month for a 9 am – 6 pm job.
Her routine at home -
get up at 7:30 am. mom used to get up early and start preparing lunch so that wife could carry Tiffin.
i never have breakfast of lunch. So even for making her own Tiffin, she only used to help mom in making rotis for herself.
Then i used to drive her to her office and then i used to go to my office.
In the evening, she used to finish work at 6 pm. My official time was 6:40 pm and most of times i used to be late till 7pm - 7:30 pm
My wife used to go to her parents place which was nearby. then come to my office and then we used to go home.
she used to say that she is not comfortable being in the house without me.
By the time we used to reach home, the dinner used to be ready. She had no work to do at home.
Mom, Dad or Sis used to handle the clothes part as we have a washing machine. Food was made by dad, utensils and cleaning the house was done by the maid.
she still used to find something or the other silly reasons to start a quarrel with me
her quarrels used to go upto 4 in morning.
whenever my mom and dad came to make us cool down, she used to speak rudely to them.
She used to portray an image to her family that me and my parents are harassing her.
The salary she used to earn - 5000 per month, i had told her to make an Fixed Deposit of that amount. Because i was earning a pretty decent salary and could live nicely.
I never asked her about it. I used to give her Rs.2000 for her expenses.
Travelling expenses were taken care by me. She used to take tiffin from home. I used to go for shopping with her, so i used to purchase things for her. she had no expenses.
She never spent anything for house or the family members.
The quarrels continued for atleast once or twice a week. and that started taking a toll on my effectiveness at work.
Her parents knew only her side of the story. They believed their daughter. But that was a story of half truth.
they wanted me to be separate from my family.
my wife used to always try to create rifts between me and my family.
during this entire happening, there were rarely times we were intimate.
she always pursued me for unnatural s*x which i was unwilling.
She got pregnant. As per hindu tradition she went to her parents place in March/April 2008.
before going, she put on her best behavior. she took the marriage certificate and all her certificates while going and did not inform any of us.
she wanted to take all her jewelry too. My mom saw her taking all the jewelry so asked her why is it required. she then kept some of it back in the cupboard.
The day she went along with her parents and relatives, she did not call me or my family.
When i called her several times, she told me that she does not want to keep any relations with my family. she only wants to keep relations with me.
I told her that that would not be possible. We will stay jointly. So she refused talking to me.
She delivered on 19th June 2009. she or her parents did not inform me while she was hospitalised. I was informed an hour after my child was born.
I went to hospital couple of times to see her. I went with a box of sweets for her family as well and thought that atleast now things will be fine. I decided to start fresh forgetting the past
She still never called me.. neither her family spoke to me or my family. She thought that i will agree to stay separately.
During this time, in July 08, due to the quarrels and sadness and tension, my dad underwent a bypass surgery.
Neither she nor her family inquired or came to see my dad in hospital.
My dad was brought home.
My inlaws called me saying they want to keep a naming ceremony for my daughter.
I told them that first we need to sort out matters only then i and my family will come for the naming ceremony.
My relatives came to help. They called her relatives at my place.her relatives heard our side of story.
They realised that things are bad and backed off.
my inlaws did the naming ceremony for my daughter without me as well as any of my family members
In November 2008,one sunday my wife, her parents, relatives and 2 females from mahila mukti came to my home stressing on the fact that i should take her back.
They forced their way in and started quarelling. This was very upsetting. Considering dads recent bypass surgery.
So i told them that i will check in a hotel until i find a place on rent. But i do not want her to stay with my dad.
they took her away and told me that when i will find a place to rent, i should inform them.
i consulted a lawyer in navi mumbai. He advised that i should rent a place and stay with my wife and kid in an attempt to reconcile.
I did as advised. December 13th 2008 i started staying separately with wife and kid
Again i thought of starting afresh for the sake of my daughter.
things didnt work out... in a span of 2 months, there were 13 major quarrels.
Some things like - not cutting baby's nails... not bathing the baby. not changing bedsheet for 3 days where the baby was kept. I am a patient guy and rarely lose my patience. However everytime she used to do things and say things which would test my patience levels.
i used to have only a cup of tea in morning and dinner.
She did not know how to cook. I told her that.. u make chapatis, rice, dal and egg for dinner everyday and i will eat it without complaining.
She failed to do that too... there were times i used to have dinner at midnight.
the house was never clean. Lunch was never made. Baby was not given medicines properly.
i failed to understand what she used to do at home.
the quarrels increased and became unbearable. I would have had 2 accidents during that time due to tensions. I was lucky.
My work was getting hampered too.i decided to stay separately.
From 1st may 2008, i am staying with my parents.
My wife claims that she is staying with our daughter in the same house we were staying.
I am not sure about that fact whether she goes to her parents place or her parents come to stay with her.
I used to take my daughter to my parents house for weekends. I used to keep giving rent to the house-owner and give Rs.5000 to wife for home expenses on the first weekend every month.
I used to get things for my daughter separately like toys, clothes, her necessities.
When daughter was to be taken to doctor, i used to go there.
The talks between me and wife were restricted to my daughter only.
There has been no intimacy at all for the past 6 months.
During diwali i went to get my daughter and my wife created a scene mentioning that she will not give me my daughter ever. She called her neighbors and said that If I took my daughter, then she will harm herself.
she says that she does not trust me or my parents that i would return my daughter to her.
She still expects that i should give money to her on a monthly basis as well as pay the rent.
The neighbors had intervened and they tried to explain things to her that me and wife should go to the police station or lawyer and put it in writing that i will take my daughter during weekends and bring her back. also that i will pay the rent and expenses.
she does not want to give anything in writing.
she does not want divorce.
The rent/lease agreement is expiring in 5 days.
What should i do ?
First of all i thank you for going through this lengthy detail.
There are many more instances which have aggreveated the situation and there are practically no chances of reconcilation.
please help what should I do?


 18 Replies



col hs sharma (advocate)     02 November 2009

dear mk, do remember that law is pro,unless you establish  that the lady is causing cruality to you the things are going to be difficult. but your case can be made effective if you go through the concillatory process with the help of either police/womencell ?( they are difficult to handle) or ngo or any voluntary group/relatives who can dipose in your favour then the divorce proceedings can be made easy and you may escape  the agony of facing 498a and 3/4 dowry act charges. col (retd )hssharma.llm, advocate uk,high court,nainital


Seems to be a untrue story.


Mr.MK said following words

She delivered on 19th June 2009.

I did as advised. December 13th 2008 i started staying separately with wife and kid
Again i thought of starting afresh for the sake of my daughter.
which one is correct.
It is better to take a advice from Psychotriast.


sonu avanth (housewife)     04 November 2009

please explan about 13B mutual case

V Kumar (Proprieter)     04 November 2009


I have a friend who has been married since Dec 2004, but has not lived with his wife for all these years except for 6 months in the 1st year of marriage but even during that period they did not have any physical relationship. Due to parental pressure he married against his wishes and on the next day of the marriage he realized it was impossible for him to stay with his wife. The same day he left his home town (where the marriage had been solemnized) for his place of work. Few days later his wife came with her in-laws to stay with him.
He accepted the situation and tried very hard to adjust and make the marriage work, however he came to know that the girls’ parents lied at the time of marriage as they claimed the girl was a graduate but within a few days he found out that she had quit studies after the 10th standard. He pursued her to study further and asked for her certificates, but the same were not provided. Above all she refused to study saying "agar mujhe padhna hota toh main pehle hi padh leti" (If I really wanted to study I would have done that long back).
She would insult and refused to entertain his friends when they visited them, when he tried to speaking to her she would say “mere ghar mein sab kehte hain hain ki main bahut ziddi hoon" (everyone in my family says I'm very obstinate) and laugh out loud. He became miserable seeing which his friends tried to mediate. However his wife insulted them and accused him of having an affair with his friends’ wives who tried to help.
For 6 months worked on the marriage but when he could not take it anymore he and other family members tried to reason out with her and offered divorce with mutual consent, however she refused and would threaten to falsely implicate him and his family for dowry harassment. So he sent her to her parents’ home. Things went on like this for 2 years but in Sept 2007 she along with her family-members came to his office and created a scene publicly. As a result he rented a separate accommodation for her and paid for her stay there.
He tried very hard to convince her for divorce but she did not give in. Since May 2009 he has not been paying her anything except the room rent. He neither stays nor visits her ever. Thing are at a stand-still since May. As all efforts for mutual divorce have been futile, he is now planning to file for divorce.
Is it possible to get a divorce in this scenario and on what grounds should he file for divorce?

Meenakshi (Lawyer)     04 November 2009

 Section 13B - Divorce by mutual consent :-

  1.  a petition for Dissolution of Marriage by decree of divorce may be presented to the district court by both the parties (which means both want to obtain divorce and are unwilling to stay together)to a marriage together on 3 Grounds:   a). Both Spouse have been living separately for a period of one year or more, b)Both are unable able to live together and         c)they have Mutually agreed that the marriage should be dissolved.
  2. On the motion of both the parties made after six months  of the presentation of the petition and not later than eighteen months after the said date, if the petition is not withdrawn, the court shall, on being satisfied, after hearing the parties and after making such inquiry  pass a decree of divorce 

Meenakshi (Lawyer)     04 November 2009

 He can obtain divorce on grounds of restitution of conjugal rights which wil take onother Year

Restitution of conjugal rights means when one of the spouse deprives the other from s*xual cohabitation unreasonably without any reasonable excuse the court shall than pass a decree fore Restitution of Conjugal Rights

First he should have revolted against marriage he is an adult and nobody can compel you to get married if he did he might have his own reasons not being able to adjust..The girl being unreasonably obstanate etc...Doesnt form a ground...The only ground i see is if your friend proves in the court that he is been deprived of s*xual cohabitation on which the burden of proof lies on the friend...The court will pass a decree fpr restitution of conjugal rights which cannot do much but only order your friends wife to restore the maritial obligations.After a year you wil have to file divorce petition and divorce will be granted by the court.

I dont see her treating your friend with cruelty or desertion could also be a case if she stayed away 7 years but its your friend who wanst a divorce..

Antima (student)     05 November 2009

Can a wife ask her husband to stay with her? Wife is highly educated and earn quite higher than the husband, stays in a big city having good chances of job improvement. Husband stays  in a quite a smaller place where there are not good chances of satisfactory job with good salary. husband does not have a steady job even though asks wife to stay with him. Can wife claim for conjugal rights? Upadhyay

V Kumar (Proprieter)     07 November 2009

Thanks Meenakshi.. But the problem here is that his wife doesn't want a divorce and he isn't ready to stay with her. As you mentioned that the girl being obstinate does not form a ground for divorce. Is it possible to get a divorce in such a scenario? 

valentine (Advocate)     09 November 2009

The fastest way to separate from a disastrous union is the divorce by mutual consent. It is reightly said that the whole legal bent is towards females(wife). To prove curelty by wife would require an honest and aruous advocate. Of course, a willing judge as well who is ready to consider all the facts in the right perspective. In such cases, I have seen, the best way out is settlement by giving one time money and getting a decree of divroce from the Court.



valentine (Advocate)     09 November 2009


First of all arange your facts in order, datewise. Your brief should not give an impression of a fabricated/careless story. Collect evidence/witnesses against your wife, hire an honest and hardworking advocate, put your facts in order and then approach the Court. Take your wife's consent on divorce on mutual consent geround.



valentine (Advocate)     09 November 2009



Kamal Grover (Advocate High Court Chandigarh M:09814110005     10 November 2009

I agree


B.N.Rajamohamed (advocate / commissioner of oaths)     10 November 2009


                       Her unwillingness to seek divorce itself impies that she has a soft corner for you.If she is really disapointed with you she would have opted for the relief prior to you . So, to please your wife you have no other option than adopting the s*xual tactics by having regular intercourse with her inspite of her resistance. Let her be in the house you have rented try to extend the lease agreement. Go and live with her with a s*xual motive which may solve the problems because, ladies are pron to s*xual desire more than gents.Try it let us hope for the best. Keep intouch with me for legal advices if any. 


Leave a reply

Your are not logged in . Please login to post replies

Click here to Login / Register