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Manu (Engineer)     22 March 2013

Need advice on divorce of recently married


Hello Experts,

I got Married in April'12 and it was an arrange marriage against a website ad. My wife lived at my home with me for 4-5 days. During those days she had daily fight with my parents on very small small issues like "not wearing Sari, Pallu (hindi word), morning pooja etc etc". I tried many times to explain that its only for few days then you dont have to do this all. I am working out so You will be with me. But it didn’t work. Later we together came to my work location. we lived there for 6 months and then she alone went back to my place for Diwali. The same episode started again and now her parents also got involved. Both the parents had serious argument on customs and upbringings. she lived there for 10-15 days and went back to her parents and she is there till date.

Now situation is that she is forcing me to get separated from my parents and she is not ready to go back to my place. I am also fed up with this attitude and cant leave my parents. In between I got to know that there were many things fake in her profile posted on that ad (like education and DOB…etc). We are having daily fights on phone and its not bearable

Can I file a case of divorce? or I have to wait for 1 yr as divorce can only be filed after 1 year??

Under which head I can file a case ?? like mental harassment or what?

I am worried and infect sure that they will file a case of dowry and violence so how strong their case will be because that is not truth and she lived only 15-20 days at my place and she is not willing to come back. She is ready to come to me but on her terms.

Will my parents can get arrested if she files a case?

or any thing I can do to safeguard myself and my parents before filing divorce ??


please help..


 13 Replies

Shantanu Wavhal (Worker)     22 March 2013

no huge issue is involved in ur situation.

sort out the problem decent & calm way.

changing the wife is not the solution.

both husband & wife have to make some or other adjustments.

1 Like

Advocate Ravinder (Advocate/Attorney)     23 March 2013


You have not given the details of your religion.  By uttering the words Palu, pooja etc I can understand that you might be Hindu only.  Your issue comes under Hindu marriage Act. 

 First of all you have to decide whether you want to stay with your parents or you want to go with your wife. 

 If you want to live with your parents, you can file a petition for divorce under the grounds of cruelty and desertion.  As soon as you file the case, she may file cases as vengeance. She can file cases under section 498-A, dowry act, dv act etc against you and your parents and family members.  Though you are innocent, you have to face the problem of arrest of yourself and your parents.  Due to old age, your parents will get bail easily.  In the end you will win the case but as of now you have to face the embarrassing situation. 

 If you want to go with you wife, then there will not be any problem as you can live separately.  In this case you can arrange maintenance to your age old parents.  The problem will be solved to some extent. 


Regarding wrong information in the profile, you cannot take any action against her.  Once you marry her you cannot raise that question.  You have to enquire before marriage only.  You have to wait one year for filing divorce petition. 

1 Like

Mango (Consultant)     23 March 2013

God blessed this world with marriage and human beings with divorce!!!!


As per my understanding, you don’t have a valid reason to say that you need divorce. It’s a common problem in today’s society that wife does NOT want to live with their husband and in-laws (especially) whereas in live-in relationship, she wants a big family. You should be happy that at least your wife wants to live with you... :-)


If you are going to give the gift of divorce to your wife, she will give you the return gift of Domestic Violence and 498a; which will keep you happy & involved in court cases for 2-3 years. Don’t worry; in both of these cases, your family does NOT have to go to jail until and unless you are available in India.

Though, in domestic violence case, your parents would NOT be affected as she lived in her matrimonial home for for a short-while (10-15 days) but YOU'LL. So, if she is living with her parents’ house then make sure to give her a call daily and have call details and conversations recorded. Keep your head cool to avoid any kind of further problem for your family and yourself. Divorce is a lengthy and time taking procedure and believes me you don't have to go for it until and unless your wife gives it to you.


Give sometime to this relationship to understand each other. I am not saying to leave your parents but to let her know, what she is asking for! May be you want to give a shot by started living in your wife’s house for couple of months and letting her parents know, what does their daughter do actually by doing the same at their home…. :-)


If nothing works out then ask her for Mutual Consent Divorce (MCD) not divorce. In India 'divorce' is time taking procedure whereas MCD is fast and almost least expensive (only for boys); you’ve to go only three times to court. MCD cannot be asked before completion of 1 year of marriage. So, till that time, enjoy your in-law house!




P.S. - Time hai abhi ghar ko banaa leee, dusaari lekar aayega to haal isse bhi bura kareegi.

2 Like

@ Mango. Very decent advice and sensible too.
1 Like

Manish Udar (www.Mehnat.IN)     23 March 2013

The critical questions here are

1) Was she was affectionate towards you in the six months when she lived with you away from your parents?

2) Is she now ready to join you in that place (the town where you work and where you lived with her for six months)?

If the answer is 'no' to any of these questions then you have a problem which needs to be solved. If the answer is 'no' to both of these questions then you need to take defensive action as soon as you can.

1 Like

RAJIV BHASIN (ADVOCATE) (Bhasin Legal Consultants(SOLICITORS & ADVOCATES) 9811210505)     23 March 2013

Dear Manu, Try to sort out all small issues. Understanding between both of you is basic and foremost thing. If this doesn't work then go for divorce. You have very good ground of divorce. about cheating and fraud with respect to education & age etc., But despite that my opinion would be don't act in haste. Try to forgive and forget. Be positive and try to live happily. you can call RAJIV BHASIN ADVOCATE 9811210505 / 9868635640
1 Like

Manu (Engineer)     23 March 2013


Thanks to all of you for your valuable comments and I am really happy to read all your suggestions on personal front also. Really divorce is not a solution and Believe me friends I want to save this relationship and doing lot of compromise just to save it. The problem is that due to past misunderstandings whenever I and my wife are having any kind of argument it gets passed on to her parents and siblings thru her. And they straight away call my parents and say whatever they want, this has happened quite a lot times. 

As I said earlier she is away from me and my parents since November last and living with her parents, she is under strong influence of her parents and siblings and I am afraid that any day these small arguments can take a big shape.

I asked her to come to me and told her that you won’t need to go to my parent’s house ever on this also one day her brother called me that why I am saying this and she will go and will go with you only.

In short they want to do whatever they want on their terms.

It’s really very hard to behave like a slave and allow them to misbehave with my parents in front of me. During her visit to my place for 10-15 days she never followed any custom and never went to kitchen. My mother and sister served the food to her bedroom. Her argument was that she never cooked in her life and she can’t cook for 4-5 people and asking my mom to have a maid.

There are many things; you all will get bored if I will tell you each and every thing.

All I want to safeguard my poor parents from any false blames from their side.

In my poor thoughts was thinking of filing of divorce case first so that if they counter back with dowry and DV, I can say that its false and its only a revenge cos i filled a case. I was thinking that court will consider that. But after all your comments I thing I was wrong.


Please advise me any way by which I can ensure no harm to my parents and family if they file any false case in near future. I am ready to face anything but just want to keep my family away from this mess.

Manish Udar (www.Mehnat.IN)     23 March 2013

You have not answered my questions. It is difficult to give advice without these answers.

False Accusations by Wife

Manu (Engineer)     24 March 2013



Hello Manish Ji,


Answers are as below:


1) Was she affectionate towards you in the six months when she lived with you away from your parents?

Yes. With me she dont have any problem becos I have servant and maid for all house hold works at my work location, good flat and all facilities. she love to be at home and enjoy TV and internet.


2) Is she now ready to join you in that place (the town where you work and where you lived with her for six months)?

Yes as I explained to you above. Not sure its affection or what?


but she don’t want my parents to visit my place and said clearly that she don’t want to go to my parents place cos der she might have to cook and show some respect and wear Indian cloths. she also tells about my financial to her parents and how much money I spend on my parents.

Her elder siblings call me and innocently tell me to save more and not to spend on my parents. And when i ask her why she discusses all this to her parents it become and argument and I have to hear that she has equal rights on my income.


Its become mental pain for me still m trying n trying.


I hope i answered your questions

Manish Udar (www.Mehnat.IN)     24 March 2013

So this woman does not have a problem with you, but with your parents and with their demand for her to do housework.


Let me tell you very few ladies will do housework these days. Your wife is the queen of your home, not your servant. If she does not like to wear Indian clothes, an educated husband should have no problem, as long as she does not wear mini skirts or deep neck blouses. Let your mother do morning pooja if she believes in it. Don't force your wife to follow the rituals of your religion. This is not Pakistan.


Perhaps your parents demand for house work and your need to support them financially are inter-related. Perhaps your parents do not have a sufficient income separate from yours, and therefore they feel the need to not hire a servant to do housework. But I fail to see, if you can afford two household employees at the town where you work, then why you cannot afford one at your parents' home.


There is no need to file for divorce at this point. Tell her to come with you for joint marital counselling from a qualified psychiatrist or an elder who you both respect, or from one elder from her side and one elder from your side, but not from your respective immediate families. If she accepts. go to the session remembering that it is a JOINT session.


If she refuses this, then request her to join you at your residence in the town where you work. If she comes there, then renew your relations and let the love grow till the wounds of the separation are forgiven.


Then tell her that you want her to be the mother of your children, and either tell her that you need to support your parents financially and she should respect this OR organise a dinner with the same elders or professionals suggested in the previous point and let them tell her this thing. When you have reached this step, you will already  be in a 90 percent working marriage.


If she refuses to come despite your requests then you need to seriously think about getting divorce without worrying about the counter litigation from her side.

2 Like

Mango (Consultant)     24 March 2013

Don’t feel bad, every marriage has the same story. Soon or later, every women cry to marry a wrong person and men cry to bring home a snake! Great Lord Shiva and their prayers! Long story short, except few lucky husbands/wifes other have the same stories.  If you think that in near future you are going to get into any kind of trouble; few things, I could suggest you to save yourself –


a) Have some voice recording software installed on your phone and make sure to record each and every call. I’ll say go for Boldbeast ( software if you are using Nokia phone. This way you will have all the call details available with you in case your wife sues you under any false allegation.


b) Never ever ask your wife to credit any amount of money into your account especially through Cheque/NetBanking. In case, you have any transaction on your account from her account then just make sure to revert it back ASAP.


c) Never let her spend through her credit/debit card. If she is in touch with some lawyer then she would be probably getting suggested to spend money through her credit/debit card.


d) Transfer all your fixed assets (especially home) to your mother’s name. Keep your bank balance as minimum as possible. Don’t show your savings, bank details and company allocated shares information to your wife.


e) Make sure to rent out an apartment/room in area near to your office and keep all the rent receipt scanned. Also, make sure that landlord is giving you a valid rent receipts.


f) Never make any bold statements for her especially in written. For example, get-out from my house, will kill you (especially), will cause damages to you and your family, will sue you in the court, etc. etc.


g) Always record happy moments like Diwali (this is one of the most callable festival in DV/498a cases) and Raksha-Bandhan/Bhaiya-Dhoj (this is second most callable festival in the court cases). Make sure to post all the pictures in the social networking site so that your love can be seen around the world and in case, you are assaulted, you can produce this in CAW cell as well as court case.


h) Don’t interfere, if she wants to go to her parent’s house. If she is happy there, let her be there as long as she wants.


i) Keep checking if she is in contact with any lawyer. If she is then record those happy moments and show it when both of you are together again. 


j) Don’t rush to reach lawyer to let him/her know that your house is on-fire, please bring some more petrol. First check, if the things can be settled down by talks.  Lawyers know how to defend you from any situation. Though, ever lawyer makes a lot of noise at initial stages to scare his/her client but at last, he/she knows how to get you out of trouble.


Please don’t use this to make-up your case against your wife or challenge her openly in the court. These all are suggestions to provide a safeguard against the biased laws.


Think positive. Try to keep your marriage alive. If you are failed in first marriage then there are pretty good chances that you would be failed again and again. So, keep trying to keep your marriage alive and happy... Keep pushing... All the best!



kush (engr)     31 March 2013

You can take help of marriage councellor. You both go and meet the marriage councellor. You both will realize your mistakes. If this does not work out then let elders of your family intervene and talk to their elders through mediators for peacefull solution /separation.

ragz hyder (PM)     31 March 2013

Get rid of her. Even if you face trouble in the interim. REcord conversations on phone both of her parents and her brother and her. In the interim gather evidence  emails intentionally sent to solicit info, phone conversations etc.

if she is doing stupid things with your mother or calling her names ask your mother to file DV against her. yOur mother can  do what the gfirl can do under DV. only left is 498A.

What is important is your happiness and your gut feeling. you cant keep explaining things u take for granted like pallu etc. dont storm our of house. Tehzeeb jo hai wo insaano ko sikhaya jaata. Rakshas ya jaanwar ko nahi

you might face trouble in intermin. Get Anticipatory bail for parents and try for yourself although court wont give you. file for divorce aage3 dekha jayega. Be firm and be ready for consequences of actions. If she is not working be ready for maintenance until she gets remarried.

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