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gopinath (Engineer)     14 November 2013

My wife not willing to live together

I married 5 years back and i have a 3  yrs old daughter & 1 yr old son. Ours was an arranged marriage.. My wife is a an epilepsy Patient which I came to know in our first night when she had a seizure on bed. She takes pills 2 times a day. But I compromised with out any hesitation for a good family life.When she was carrying our first baby ,I went overseas for job.After one year I came back and went to another country for another job.When I returned on leave arranging family visa we together returned back to my work place.There she again got pregnant,and with a mutual understanding of getting good care ,I send her back to India.There she lived with my parents and always fought with them.So to release the mental tension I was suffering ,I requested her to go back to her parents and live peacefully,without enquiring whose fault was there in my home.She needs someone always to look after her. Also she was not comfortable in the home in which we were living.After giving birth to our younger child ,she again came back with me.At the airport she fell down with my child in her hand due to epileptic seizure.My son got injured his head.Again without complaining we started living together.But she seemed least comfortable here with me,she always wanted to go back to her parents.She always made some problems here,to tease me.Her parents always supported her in blaming me.They continuosly compelled her to came back to live with them.So again I send back her to India.Now she is saying ,she is undergoing medical treatment and she cannot even say when she can return back.I requested her to come back for atleast 1 week,so that her visa can be renewed .Then after I told her to go back to her parents and live there til our younger child is 2 yr old.Then also she is refusing to come back,and even she is not willing to say when she can be with me.She is asking rather compelling me to stay with her in her house.I told her,now it is not possible ,for atleast some years,since I am not financially sound right now.Her parents are not living a social life,which means they are not even in talking terms with their close relatives.I fear about my childrens future ,If they are staying with them.Please advise me to overcome this situation.



 3 Replies


(Guest)
You are unclear as to what you want from life. First decide what you are looking for, you want to continue with married life? Do not want to continue with married life? Such things have to be decided first, then rest will follow suit.

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Advocate)     14 November 2013

Gopinath,

If your contentions are to be taken for true, you have no other option than to live a separate life away from her because the people with this type of mentality will be very hard to be convinced especially in the event of some people in the background continue to poison their already contaminated mind.  As far as the children' future is concerned it depends on what call you take on your married life with your wife, if she is reluctant to return to her matrimonial fold, you may file a divorce case and seek custody of your children citing her chronic ailments as reason under guardian and wards act.

Adv Archana Deshmukh (Practicing Advocate)     14 November 2013

You will need to overcome the situation with the mediation of some wise friends and relatives. Though your in laws are not in talking terms with their close relatives but you can send your relatives / friends to talk with them and convince them to send your wife. Try to find out what kind of treatment she is taking and how much time will it take. Be in touch with your wife and her doctor. Keep your cool and try to find out a harmonious solution. Your children are too young and even you won't be able to take care of them alone while living abroad. 


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